Now, where were we?

I started this blog as a way of coping with anxiety. The anxiety of being seen, the anxiety of being invisible. They're complimentary contradictions, aren't they?

I feared being seen; being seen as different. My difference no matter how easily concealable at first, always seemed to peek through. I think I never got to really know or wonder whether my difference was good, because I felt (learned the) bad about it. My world was made up of eggshells and mines. So, for years, I built my empire on being invisible, and that slowly wore me. I couldn't tell myself apart, so I tore myself apart. Bit by bit. little by little. and after a time i became too many islands; of shame, fear, guilt, rage, despair, despite, and listleness.

I tried to catch myself, but I think I smothered me.

So, I sat there... in the ashes, with myself, for a while.

it had to be in the dark, 

in not so plain sight.

Not for everyone to see

but a gift to behold

and some to cherish.

that being underestimated may be a blessing in disguise. because then you can work in peace. The thing about it is that those who choose to underestimate you, limit you according to THEIR own beliefs and limitations. You can tell them exactly what you intend to do and sometimes even how you intend to achieve it and they will smile, nod and then continue to smirk and snub their noses at you. But this is not your call to pick up.

This is not a call to be disheartened.

This is not a call for you to stop.

It's a call to continue, because by saying those dreams out loud you have called them into existence, and their existence does not rest on the eyes, ears and hearts that choose to not receive them.