gone bad.

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? 

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

7. What does your last received text say?

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

9. Where was your last kiss at?

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

11. What do you drink in the morning?

12. Where did you sleep last night?

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

20. Does anyone like you?

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

25. In the past week have you cried?

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? 

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

29. Do you think you’re old?

30. Do you like text messaging?

31. What type of day are you having?

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

37. What song are you listening to?

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? 40. What made you start liking the person you like now? 41. When did you last receive a text message? 42. What is wrong with you right now? 43. How well do you know the last female you texted? 44. Does anyone disgust you? 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? 46. Are you in a good mood right now? 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? 48. What color shirt are you wearing? 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? 53. Do you like rain?   54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?   56. Do you like to cuddle? 57. Are you shy?   58. Do you get along with girls? 59. Have you dated the person you texted last?   60. What do you carry with you at all times?   61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?   62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?   63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?   64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?     68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?     69. Do you have any stickers on your car?     70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?     71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?     72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?     73. Do you like diet soda?     74. What color are the walls in your room?     75. Are you 16 or older?     76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?     77. Do you have a job?        78. What are your initials?     79. Did you ever have braces?     80. Are you from the south?    

Our parents are both high lords and we were bound to marry since the birth. Too bad the marriage is forced as we both have people we love.

We meet up at a gallery opening and I fall for you only to learn later on that you’re an escort.

I’m an artist and as soon as I lay my eyes on you I know that you’re my muse and I have to paint you. 

I’m your boss and my green card is expiring; in order to keep it, we strike a deal for marriage.

I’m a pirate and you’ve been taken as a wench from one of the cities we raided. The crew decides to keep you for food/cleaning.

I’m a detective who only recently lost their partner and the station decided to pair me up with a newbie.

We’re from the same tourist group and we find ourselves lost in the middle of the jungle during one of guided tours.

You’re teaching me how to pilot a private plane and we crash in a remote uninhabited (?) island.

You’re in a witness protection program and I’m a cop dedicated to be by your side 24/7.

My spouse dies, leaving me with a little kid. Parenthood is something I’m not quite acquainted with and you’re a friendly neighbor who suggests to help me.

I’m in dire need of money and can’t support my apartment on my own. After an add in the local newspaper you are the one to show interest in being my roommate.

My loving spouse dies and leaves me a letter that all they ever wanted was to patch things up with their sibling. Honoring the memory I go there to break the news and realize that the said sibling is my spouse’s twin.

One drunken night later we wake up in the same bed; only later do we find out that you’re pregnant.

[ TEXT ] I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs

[ TEXT ] This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left…bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬

[ TEXT ] I bet your mom’s never met a girl who’s thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.

[ TEXT ] Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry’s mind

[ TEXT ] You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn’t have predicted the housing crisis.

[ TEXT ] I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well

[ TEXT ] I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.

[ TEXT ] I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.

[ TEXT ] Don’t tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.

[ TEXT ] Don’t take a pillow from my bed. You don’t know which ones of them my vagina has been on

[ TEXT ] I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that’s not awesome customer service, I don’t know what is.

[ TEXT ] my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it’s literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.

[ TEXT ] that’s what I’m here for. I’m literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.

[ TEXT ] sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.

[ TEXT ] All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.

[ TEXT ] Dude I turned down free booze. I think I’m growing as a person.

[ TEXT ] Can’t tell if it’s the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.

[ TEXT ] I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.

[ TEXT ] it was a hallmark card with butt plugs

[ TEXT ] Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It’ll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.

[ TEXT ] It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.

[ TEXT ] His ex told me that she wanted me to “take care of” him but from the way she said it I couldn’t tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.

[ TEXT ] If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.

[ TEXT ] UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING

[ TEXT ] We’re lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we’re okay. I think they all understand.

[ TEXT ] Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you’ve dug for yourself. asking for a friend

[ TEXT ] i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering “why” in various inflections.

[ TEXT ] Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.

[ TEXT ] Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.

[ TEXT ] I couldn’t find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.

[ TEXT ] Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I’ve never met before.

[ TEXT ] Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me

[ TEXT ] how do i act around someone who’s shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?

[ TEXT ] he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack

[ TEXT ] I never imagine I’d say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?

[ TEXT ] Why can’t they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I’m meant to be?

[ TEXT ] There’s nothing like when u really click with a stripper

[ TEXT ] Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.

[ TEXT ] I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?

[ TEXT ] Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?

[ TEXT ] He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.

[ TEXT ] That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old

[ TEXT ] You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him “shouldn’t you be yelling at dragons”