love more.

( ... )

“if we keep talking about the haters i’m gonna need to drink my sorrows, mina.” she said with a laugh. it was a heavy topic on its own, without the subtle conversation about sexuality thrown in, and one that used to make soojin cry. now, in this room with her friend, despite the weight always lingering on her shoulders she felt comfortable. part of her hoped this night wouldn’t end, in case another like it wouldn’t come again. “then we’d have to post some scandalous photo of spiced’s soojin and loveless’ mina getting drunk in bed together. that would get them talking.”

mina was really beautiful when she smiled. obviously she was beautiful all the time every day all day, but soojin inwardly agreed that mina looked especially endearing with that smile and the brush of pink across her cheeks. she wanted to shower mina with even more compliments, and rid of any uncertainties or nerves that had been present beforehand. “yeah. so i can bake you into cute puff pastry.” thinking back it was an odd thing to say, but she found herself willing to say anything silly to her friend. the moment her compliments were returned soojin started shoving mina with her pillow, unable to hide her grin. “noooo~ stop it, stop it.” she clutched the pillow back to her chest, blowing hair from her face. “don’t say it like i’m above you. i still have things to work on.” somewhere within, she felt the want to improve for mina too. “i’m just like anyone else. you just haven’t lived with me yet to witness my poor moments.”

eyes glued to the screen, mina allowed herself a small smile at the answer she received.  she quickly stored the information in the back of her mind, filing it away for future reference.  chicken and beer sounded good to her; she’d need to get some the next time they hung out.  and maybe some desserts too, for that sweet-tooth.  “so you can be a little wishy-washy, is what you’re saying.  i can definitely relate to that.  like i said, i usually have a top five.  that way, i can switch out my favorites to fit my mood.”

“oh, i’m not a leader,” she laughed with a shake of her head.  “i look after others, but i’d be a useless leader.  i’m too much of a pushover.”  there was a good reason why l:oveless’ leader position went to sunnie, despite her not being the eldest in the group.  in the beginning, there had been questions about the company’s decision to give the position to a younger member.  the original oldest member, jade, had kicked up quite a shit-storm over it.  but mina never felt the need to question it.  in her eyes, age had nothing to do with leadership skills.  while she had a big heart and a habit of caring for others, there was no way she’d be able to act as the bridge between the group and their company.  “being a leader isn’t all it’s cracked up to be anyway. there’s nothing wrong with focusing on yourself.  you can’t expect your group to work fluidly if you don’t have your own shit together.”

“forget about the haters.  i’ll give you enough love to drown out all their nonsense,” mina grinned at her friend, leaning in to give her a gentle nudge with her shoulder.  talking about the hate you received from the general public wasn’t necessarily a fun thing to do.  she certainly wasn’t jumping at every opportunity to point out some of the nasty things netizens posted, but after being in and out of the spotlight for seven years, it was easier to deal with.  it was important to keep in mind that soojin debuted later on, and that she was added to the spiced line-up four years after their initial debut, immediately following the loss of two original members.  no matter what, even if she had been the most talented person in the world, she was set up for negative attention the second she became a member.  that was a lot for one person to handle, especially when the usual amount of hate idols received was piled on top of it all.  trying to keep the conversation as light-hearted as possible was very important.  “but if you really want, i have a few soju bottles in the back of my fridge.  i’m sure we could kick up a scandal or two with just a few photos.”

“not a real smack, just something to wake me,” mina frowned, staring down her laptop screen like it had personally offended her.  normally, she was the type of person to thrive with a full agenda.  some people found it strange, but working actually made her happy.  if there was nothing to do, she would go stir-crazy and her mood would drop.  having something to work on kept her occupied, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.  one exception to that, however, was the occasional lack of sleep that went with a busy schedule.

“i don’t drink coffee; i can’t stand the taste.  but thank you for the offer.”  her eyes felt dry, too busy staring at a screen to blink as often as she should.  her throat was a little scratchy, a burn that told her she was a little too stressed out over her deadline.  even her body was slumped over in her seat.  she felt like a hot mess, in all honesty, but at least she had someone who was willing to sit with her and keep her company.  glancing to the side, she gave iseul a tired smile, “your moral support is greatly appreciated.  you’re like a personal vitamin that keeps me moving.”

he sees her just as he was about to make a dash for the shooting area. mark was always the first one out into every shoot after all. despite his hurry, he stops, and decides to check the situation out. young lass passed out on a chair, he was afraid she’d fainted. fortunately he finds that mina was just asleep. mark almost feels guilty trying to wake her up but he figured if he didn’t, it would probably be the scary-looking manager doing it in his place. 

“don’t worry about it!” he sympathizes, because he knows what it’s like. he’s had one too many sleepless nights himself. “you don’t have to explain anything to me. are you alright? can you carry on with the shoot?” he says in halting korean. mark wasn’t good at determining people’s ages from their appearance so he wonders whether he was being too formal or casual in conversation. “ah, sorry, I know it’s not polite to ask a lady’s age. would you prefer me to talk more formally?” 

being woken up by someone who was virtually a stranger might be one of the most embarrassing things that one could experience.  mina immediately began worrying, hoping that she hadn’t done anything off-putting in her sleep.  as far as she knew, she didn’t snore, but there was always a chance that she could have drooled or slept with her mouth open.  both options sounded horrible to her.  just in case, she lifted a hand to rub around her mouth, relaxing a bit when she didn’t feel any drool.

@driftuan

lack of sleep had gotten the best of her.  lately, her nights had been spent trying to write music that her company would be interested in, scrapping more ideas than she’d like to admit.  it was only natural for her body to give in after a solid week without restful sleep.  and, unfortunately, it had decided to shut down outside of her bed, falling asleep as she waited for her turn in a photoshoot. slumped over in a chair off to the side, tucked in beside the craft service table, mina probably looked more than a little unattractive as she dozed off.

It was the umpteenth event for Yoojin that week and honestly, she couldn’t wait to end the schedule for today since her introvert side was dying to recharge. Despite usually looking uninterested when invited to these events, this time around the model actually looked forward to it since it was a launch for a new product from a makeup brand. Being interested with fashion and beauty, she enjoyed being in the environment where she could be easily expressed herself using the said medium. After finding her seat, she turned to look at the people around her – seeing some regular and known faces and some strangers even. She was going to mind her own business when she realized the person next to her was struggling to open the cap of the mineral water. She hesitated to help at first but decided to be straightforward, not caring if she got back lashed by the person.

“Uhm, sunbaenim. Sorry to interrupt but you look like you need some help so do you want me to open that for you or?“ She made sure the tone was respectful enough since she knew that the person was much older than her and a respected senior too. With an extend hand and another one supporting the reached out arm, she offered to take it – waiting for her queue to let her help her.

going to events without the other l:oveless members had never been something mina was interested in doing.  it wasn’t that she had a difficult time talking to new people, or that she felt uncomfortable being alone, but after seven years of being together, it was strange to not have them by her side.  she was more of a behind-the-scenes type of idol, hanging out in the studio instead of making public appearances.  so sitting there on her own, only vaguely aware of what the event was even for (something about makeup, her manager said), mina felt awkward.  and that didn’t get any better when the person beside her noticed her struggle in wrestling open the cap of a water bottle.

at one point miyeon was just as enthusiastic about her own abilities as mina was, but that motivation was quickly sapped away from her the longer that she spent chasing this dream. like with many aspects in her life, she was just floating by at this point, accepting what was and wasn’t given to her by higher ups. being given more lines than usual didn’t excite her, just as being presented with next to nothing didn’t disappoint her. as long as she was given a decent choreography to show off to she’d stay quiet and hope that her self-doubts wouldn’t get the best of her this time around.

“i don’t know how much that really counts for,” she mumbled under her breath. of course, she was aware of her resilience, but being resilient didn’t bring home awards and music show wins– talent did, which was something that she was desperately lacking. “i mean, i do believe you. that like, the training thing works, if it worked for you. but you’re also a good vocalist, so…” miyeon was going in circles at this point, but she still couldn’t answer with confidence that this was something she wanted to attempt. sure, it’d be nice to do better than expected, but disappointment feels even worse, in her opinion. 

“thank you, mina.” she squeezed mina’s hand in response, absently rubbing over it with her thumb. even if she didn’t entirely believe the words herself, miyeon still appreciated the support. it meant that there was at least one person on her side, that believed she had some merit to her, even if it was only blind faith. “what have you been working on lately?”

mina knew that she could be a little overbearing; it came with the maternal instincts she felt toward those close to her.  all she wanted was to see her friends thrive, to let them know just how amazing they actually were.  unfortunately, that also meant being pushy, sometimes even bossy when she felt really strongly about something.  deep down, she felt like she was doing the right thing by encouraging others, but there was another part of her that worried she would eventually push too far.  the fear that she would pressure someone she loved into doing what she thought was right for them, only to have them walk away from her, was very real.

when miyeon stood her ground, she decided it was for the best to just drop it.  she gave her friend a sad smile, actively forcing herself not to shift it into a frown.  if the dancer didn’t want any help improving, then there was nothing she could do about it.  “okay, you don’t have to try it if you don’t think it’ll work.  i just want you to know that you have it in you.  and if you ever do want to try and improve, i’ll always be here.”  the small squeeze her hand was given made her feel marginally better about the situation.  what really mattered was that they had each other for support, and the mere thought of it brought warmth to the pit of mina’s stomach.  

despite the change in conversation, the rapper kept her hand planted firmly in miyeon’s, allowing the younger to run a comforting touch over her skin.  all negative thoughts were pushed away with a deep exhale before she nodded and leaned back in her chair, “i’ve been working on music, for the most part.  i’m hoping that if i write enough songs now, there’ll be a better chance that the company will pick one as a title song for our next comeback.  more options, you know?”

there was no hiding the wide grin that started to spread on sunnie’s face, even as she expected that exact answer. since the day that her position as leader was announced, her leadership abilities were questioned by fans and even by their members, but years down the line, the criticism faded and her certainty that she was deserving and capable only cemented itself. as tacky as it sounded, l:oveless was her everything, and she was willing to bend over backwards or talk in circles just to make sure that her fellow members were kept in line. “you don’t even hang out with us! you just lock yourself up in the studio all day long,” she protested, arms folding across her chest to feign offense. naturally, it was harder for them to all spend time together, given the fact that sunnie and luna had moved out of the dorms, not to mention their individual schedules, and the fact that after seven plus years together, little breaks here and there were needed for the sake of sanity. 

“didn’t you just cry over a cartoon movie last week?” she furrowed her eyebrows, eyes narrowed in the direction of the rapper. truthfully, she was just making it up, but knowing mina for as long as she has, she didn’t doubt the idea that it probably did occur. “that was the most obnoxious, spoiled brat thing that i’ve ever heard you say– coming from an obnoxious, spoiled brat. check yourself.” in a stern manner, she waved her finger at mina and clicked her tongue a few times. “exactly, genius, that’s why i’m leaving the makeup for the experts. because they get paid to be experts at their craft.” watching carefully, sunnie placed a hand to her chin as she examined each article of clothing that was laid down on the bed. “the skirt is good. but that shirt–” she paused, pointing to the center one, “what the fuck is that? did you steal that from your auntie’s closet?”

“’locking myself in the studio all day’ is just another way of saying ‘making sure we have decent songs to sing’,” mina countered with a huff of a laugh.  she couldn’t even deny that her leader was right; she did spend most of her time locked away, and while it was all for the sake of their group, it also helped isolate her from her members.  it was a win-lose situation in her eyes, but the outcome would be positive in the end.  “and if someone didn’t decide to move out, we would’ve been able to see each other every day... which would probably drive us all crazy eventually, but at least then i’d be more social.”

the elder let out a snort, shaking her head in defense.  she couldn’t even remember whether or not that had actually happened, but it was definitely something she’d done in the past, so sunnie had a point either way.  “that doesn’t count.  if anything, it’s just evidence of how in-touch i am with my emotions.  that’s a good quality to have, you know.”  with a roll of her eyes, mina brushed off the finger wagging at her, “yeah, well, i think i should be allowed at least one obnoxious, spoiled comment a year.”  she paused for a moment to flash a smirk in the other’s direction, “it can counter the few times a year that you say something selfless.”  while sunnie examined her choices -- a process that was unnecessarily nerve-racking --, she stood back and picked at the hem of the old sweatshirt she was currently wearing.  for some reason, she wanted the younger’s approval; it was utterly meaningless, and yet, she was still hopeful that her choices were satisfactory.  the answer she received made her frown, tugging on one of her sleeves, “rude!  it’s called a blouse, and i bought it myself, thank you very much.  i think it’s cute.”

it wasn’t that mina was unfashionable by any means.  sure, she often drifted toward more comfortable, baggy clothing, but it wasn’t like the articles she wore were ever unflattering. her style was relaxed, casual in almost every way possible, and she personally liked to think that the outfits she put together were coherent.  if she wasn’t an idol, people probably wouldn’t give her clothing a second glance, but that clearly wasn’t the case.  people didn’t want to see a celebrity wearing thrift store clothes, even if it was much more practical than some of the clothing their stylists managed to get a hold of.  that’s why she came to kyungri for help.  the spiced member was practically known for being a fashionista, so if there was anyone in the company she could turn to for help, she would be it.

a slight weight was lifted from her shoulders when the woman spoke with a teasing tone.  it was probably a minuscule favor to ask, but mina never enjoyed having to ask others for help. “you’re, like, the fashion guru around here.  i’m sure everyone goes to you for advice,” she flashed a small smile, grateful that she wasn’t turned away.  “the ‘80s?  you mean, like, rompers?  i think i have a few of those.  and i’m sure i could raid my auntie’s closet if i really had to.”  the onslaught of questions made her pause, licking her lips as she fumbled to pull her phone from her pocket, “i picked out a few outfits, but i’m not allowed to ask any of the stylists for help.  usually, i just let them dress me, you know?”  pulling up her camera roll, she handed her phone off to kyungri, “i took pictures of the outfits i thought looked the best, if you want to look through them.  i usually go with comfort over visuals, which is probably why i’m the least fashionable member of my group.  just, like, jeans, t-shirts, overalls, and sundresses.”

nine times out of ten, miyeon’s confidence was through the roof. her entire life, she’d been fed various levels of lies and truths about how pretty, talented and useful she was. according to her parents, she could do no wrong, and she had plenty of suitors that felt the same, even after she’d scorned them. when it came to being an idol, however, that unstoppable confidence was nowhere to be found. sure, being pretty made a lot of things easier, but it was never enough to cover up the fact that she was the weakest link in pandora. gorgeous selfies yielded plenty of compliments, but also exposed her to plenty of people wondering when she’d be the next member to take a departure, and questioning why she was added in the first place. even for someone as egotistical as her, it got to be a bit demotivating at times. “i mean, what’s the point of trying?” she asked, forcing laughter in an attempt to diffuse the mood. she appreciated mina’s support as one of the only cheerleaders she had, but she couldn’t find it in herself to muster up that same energy. “i trained for like… forever. and i’m still here. i’m okay with my voice not being heard. as long as i’m still getting endorsements to keep me busy, they can use me or not use me as much as they want. there’s always going to be one member that gets next to nothing and i’d rather it not be any of the other girls. they don’t deserve that.”

if there was anything mina was undeniably good at, it had to be offering support to those closest to her.  she was a maternal figure, a cheerleader, and her place in almost everything she did was on the sidelines.  rather than going out and doing things to further her own success, she actually enjoyed sitting back and encouraging the ones she held near and dear.  even in her own group, she was far from being a leader; instead, she was a silent driving force, working behind the scenes to make sure her members shined.  for miyeon, it was no different.  there was so much untapped potential inside the dancer, buried underneath all those years of being told she wasn’t good enough.  maybe the rest of the world couldn’t see what the dancer was capable of, but mina knew.  she knew that, despite everything her friend experienced in her career so far -- all the failures and ‘maybe next time’s --, there was one thing miyeon was good at: she never actually gave up.  she might’ve stopped trying to improve, but she was still there, sitting across from mina in a stuffy studio after hours, whining about how she didn’t think she had enough in her to even attempt something new.  if she really was a hopeless case as she seemed to think, she would have given up years ago, before she even had the chance to debut.

“yeah, you trained forever, and you still managed to make it,” the elder argued. “that just means you had enough determination to overcome the odds, and i know you still have it in you.”  the laughter that miyeon let slip through her lips made her heart ache.  why couldn’t the woman see that mina really and truly believed in her?  “i’m not saying you need to become a main vocalist. it’d just be nice to actually hear you in a song.”  the tension in the small room was thick, so she tried to cut through it with an encouraging smile, “i’m your number one fan, miyo.  i think i deserve to hear my bias for more than five seconds, don’t you?”  reaching in between their bodies, she took one of miyeon’s hands in her own, giving it a gentle squeeze, “you’re so much more than just a pretty face used for endorsements.  i know that, and so do a lot of your fans. the hard part is making you see it too.”

@95soyi

@vainqueen

“ah… i can’t pick a favorite anything. it depends on the mood i’m in.” though she took note of what mina said, simply because she enjoyed learning these kinds of things about people. for starters, in a world that felt so serious soojin found it endearing that mina was the type to still find the enjoyment in these films. it reminded her, too, of how much good can come from imagination and finding the time to be a child. “that is so like you.” she said with a laugh. “osono is great! i can’t blame you.”

earlier that day, soojin was offered to go out for dinner with a drama producer. she’d said no, evidently, because the guy was a notorious creep and she still wasn’t sure on the whole acting thing. and she now found herself incredibly grateful that she’d chosen this over that. perhaps this conversation would’ve happened eventually, but soojin felt like it’s what she needed now. to breathe, to trust in a friend, and take down some bricks from her wall. mina had a way of making her do this, surprising the confident idol every time. “yeah. hope is good.” surely there were more like them– people who hoped for a more accepting society. they weren’t alone. finding friends to confide in was the first step. “ha.” soojin was caught off guard by the sincerity in mina’s tone, and couldn’t hold back the bashful smile she hid into the pillow. she realised too soon that she should’ve stayed in character like ‘well, duh’ or ‘of course i am’. since she didn’t know what to do to cover it up, she just left it at that. compliments feel entirely different when talking like this, and with mina who’s wrapped in her blanket and fiddling with the seems. “right. the ones who support us matter. the ones who hate are just total losers.” a light sigh followed. “it’d just be nice sometimes if the hate didn’t feel like it came from three quarters of the nation, you know?”

for the briefest of moments soojin thought she saw something, another kind of hope, yet dismissed it because so many miracles had happened already. “of course i love you. you’re my friend.” she laughed, shifting to directly face the lady in question. “look at you. you’re like, this glowing warmth. it’s so easy to be with you and just… feel good. i know i don’t pick favorites and it takes a while for me to really like someone but… i knew right away with you. and like, look at you.” subtly was never her strongest as soojin gestured to mina’s entire being. “you’re gorgeous. and so dedicated to your group and your passions. you’re just, ugh, what a babe.” her head lolled to the side, lips stretching into a fond smile. she complimented her friends often, but this was more than that. there was just this sudden urge to let this friend know how loved and appreciated she was. maybe this is what it felt like to be someone’s number one fan. 

“not a favorite anything?  not even, like, food or songs?  i can be pretty indecisive, but i think i still have at least a top five for everything,” mina mused, eyes focused on the television screen as movie trailers played before the menu.  she was curious about her friend’s way of thinking, wanted to know more about what made her tick, but a small part of her also wanted to take note of what soojin did consider her favorites.  if she had enough information, maybe she could use it as future reference and make sure to have her favorite meal the next time they hung out.  she gave her friend a grin, the pit of her stomach feeling warm, “i think i just always looked up to mother figures.  it’s probably why i’m the group’s mom.”

it wasn’t very often that mina just took a night off to hang out with a friend.  there was an even lesser of a chance that she would do it to hang out with a friend that wasn’t also one of her members.  that’s not to say that she was unsociable (quite the opposite, really), but she had a hard time stepping away from her work to just relax.  if she was lucky, she might take a night off once or twice every two weeks.  she’d just rather work in the studio, or help her auntie, or even catch up on sleep.  so setting aside an entire evening to marathon movies with soojin was something that she really needed.  she never really realized how much companionship she craved until she was finally laughing and having fun with said companion.  it also helped that she thoroughly enjoyed being in soojin’s company.

seeing soojin’s reaction to her compliment made her heart skip a single beat.  she’d been expecting a more egotistical response from the visual; she knew she was amazing, so it made sense for her to brush it off.  but instead, she buried her face in a pillow with the sweetest smile in the world, and mina’s heart melted just a little bit.  “yeah, i know what you mean,” she said with a nod.  it wasn’t like she experienced an overwhelming amount of hate, but her group had once been one of the biggest in the country.  they dropped from the spotlight and were forced to work their way back up to the top.  of course they would be criticized after that.  “but i think a lot of people just hate for the sake of hating.  they’re bored and need to use up their negative energy on something, so they turn to judging public figures.  so, the hate is probably doesn’t have much fire behind it most of the time.”

a knock on the door, followed by a series of rings of the doorbell, pulled a groan from the leader’s lips. getting up from the comfort of her bed, she grumbled to herself as she made her way to the door. “i guess everyone suddenly went deaf during the middle of the night.” in all actuality, the other members had ditched sleeping beauty to catch a bite to eat, but she would find that out soon enough. opening the door, she was greeted but a surprising, but familiar face. she stared at the older woman for a second before speaking. “harlowe died, i think.” she assumed that’s who the woman had been looking for, at least. rather than wait for the woman to answer, she left the door open for her to travel in behind her and look for whoever it is she wanted to find in the spiced dorm. instead of hermit back in her room, she made herself home in the living room. she plopped down on the couch, and turned to find something to watch on tv. 

for most people, having a sore throat was nothing to stress over.  they would get some extra sleep, maybe drink some tea, and be done with it.  but mina, being the hard worker she was, refused to just lay in bed and wait to feel better.  she had things to do, shit to get done, and there just wasn’t enough time in the day for napping.  the only way she would lock herself away was if she had music to write, and unfortunately, all her current work was in the studio.  so she had to resort to some more unconventional methods to treat the scratchiness in her throat.  that’s why she was currently standing in front of an apartment door belonging to her label mates.

after a few knocks and rings of the doorbell with no answer, she was ready to call it quits.  she probably should have texted harlowe before showing up, but hindsight was always 20/20.  just as she moved to turn and leave, the door swung open to reveal a pretty grumpy-looking gemma. well, she was always pretty grumpy-looking, but this time it seemed like she’d been interrupted, which could only contributed to her usual bad mood.  an apology for bothering her was already on mina’s lips, but the younger beat her to it, leaving the door wide open and returning to the couch.

“yes, this is what i’m talking about!” some good hearted, old fashioned, fluff. soojin took a moment to consider the titles set out before her. the film most opposite to what they just experienced would most likely be ponyo, but soojin was in the mood for some real nostalgia. and as cute as ponyo is, her heart was always with the young witch. “kiki wins. forever.” the spirited thirteen year old is top tier inspiration, and maybe hanging around harlowe too much encouraged her affection for witchy things.  

despite her hesitations and how strange she felt to be revealing this side of her even now, soojin’s heart filled with a fuzzy warmth. she never once doubted mina’s sincere kindness as both friend and general human being, but this was a quiet surprise. to see some hope in the world soojin has always thought would reject her true self meant so much. there was still the lingering fear that maybe the fellow idol’s thoughts would change when it came to her, however that was more homegrown than anything else. “yeah. here too, there have been some… more daring stories in mainstream stuff.” her gaze caught onto the fidgeting of mina’s hands, and held there for a second before she stared back at the television screen and pulled a pillow to her chest for some kind of good measure she couldn’t really explain. “you’re not wrong. if kiki taught us anything, it’s to be optimistic. people will always try to see the negative in things, in other people. without even regarding my sexuality, i’m criticized. no talent, plastic face, annoying personality, whatever. if we love ourselves and have those important who love us, haters don’t matter.” the usual idol advice. it was hard to apply when your parents didn’t accept you, but soojin said it anyway. she turned to mina then, and smiled. “so you should know, i love you.” 

seeing the other’s excitement over her movie choices had mina grinning.  she knew that being in love with a series of animated movies was incredibly childish, but that didn’t stop her from holding them so near and dear to her heart.  she had been watching them since she was little, finding comfort in the stories and characters when she couldn’t find it anywhere else.  most people probably thought it was strange for her to enjoy them so much at her age, so it really meant a lot to know that her friend genuinely enjoyed them as well.  “kiki is one of my top favorites,” she moved to switch out the dvds before rearranging all the cases she had pulled out. “i know a lot of people love kiki and ursla, but i always looked up to osono.”  mina settled back into her spot, curling a blanket around her body, “it’s weird, but i guess i just wanted to be as friendly and warm of a person as she is.”

despite the fact that they were both beating around the bush, it was nice to be able to talk about more taboo topics with someone.  it was utterly ridiculous that they both felt the need to censor themselves in such a private setting, but she still appreciated having someone to discuss it with. it wasn’t like she hadn’t spoken about this topic with her members in the past, even if it was just as a passing thought, but they were practically family.  to know that she could talk about sexuality with a friend, to know that she wouldn’t be judged for her opinions, felt amazing.  mina nodded in agreement, twisting the fabric in her hand, “exactly.  so i think there’s still hope for a better, more inclusive future.”  she watched her friend move to hug one of the pillows they had spread out on the floor, the sight warming her heart in the smallest amount.  for someone who was constantly overflowing with confidence and charisma, soojin seemed so soft and comfortable just sitting on her room with a mountain of pillows and blankets.  “if it counts for anything, i think you’re pretty amazing.”  she couldn’t relate completely to the personal things soojin had gone through as an idol, but she’d experienced enough of it to understand. it didn’t take a genius to recognize that her level of popularity in l:oveless was at the very bottom. “we just need to focus on what’s most important in our lives, like our family and friends and fans.  if we do that, then the hate is barely noticeable.”