love being a fictive but i also kind of hate it. like hey you werent real before. you are now though. and you have to deal with so much bullshit. you can never go back. you may never fully feel like yourself ever again. maybe you wont ever get over it. maybe you dont want to go back. maybe it would be worse but you still want to. maybe anything would be better than this. maybe you deserved it all, just because you said that. everybody knows you. nobody knows you at all. close your eyes. open them and look at photos of the place you were ripped away from. be thankful for the people who are stuck here with you. try not to think about the ones you left behind. and most importantly, do not ever talk about your identity with any degree of seriousness and never refer to yourself as yourself, or else.