Yall know that “toxic masculinity” refers to expressions of masculinity that are toxic, right? it doesn’t imply that all masculinity is toxic- it’s used to talk about like, how people will repress their emotions aside from anger in order to seem “manly”, and how they might act in violent or self-destructive ways because that is what society expects of men.
masculinity is not inherently toxic. it hasn’t been poisoned or corrupted. it is a neutral concept, a kind of gender presentation, and it doesn’t make you a bad, unhealthy, or toxic person to be masculine.
masculinity does not need to be “soft” to be acceptable, it can just be neutral. because it is not toxic, just sometimes expressed in toxic ways or for toxic reasons.
Does this mean there is toxic femininity?
imo? Yes.
Like when white women fake cry to win arguments, or to appear to be the victim (despite how much damage they may have caused), or when female abusers point to their femininity as a reason they couldn’t possibly be hurting anyone. Or when the girls in school weaponize their performances of femininity against more androgynous, less traditionally attractive, or more masculine girls.
Plenty of cis women have a similarly toxic relationship to femininity as cis men do to masculinity. A good example of a less material expression might be the tendency to self-martyr, using the “caregiver” role to guilt trip and gaslight, and abuse in a more manipulative, emotional/mental way than the physical aggression more typical with toxic masculinity.
The patriarchy rewards gender conformity, and requires cis people of both genders to uphold it. Cis women are at a structural disadvantage to cis men regardless, but can absolutely gain more social power by adhering more strictly to traditional femininity- and weaponize that power against others.
