Hot Wired

“this pillow works better if your a back sleeper” bitch I’m a rotisserie chicken sleeper I don’t stop turning until sleep rips me forcefully from this world

i just want to say that dental dam is a fucking awful term. who the fuck wants to go down on someone and think “this is like being a pussy dentist”. in iceland we call them töfrateppi which means magic carpet and is so much better. thanks for coming to my ted talk

I get really uncomfortable around PDA (Publically Displayed Anime)

not a moment goes by playing cyberpunk where im not thinking about the sensation of having one of those pull cords in your wrist like...what is that like...i would never stop fidgeting with mine, pulling it out just to let it retract over and over i would have to get it replaced all the time i bet

“Not all men” I say, “there is but one who is purely good.” But which man am I referring to? In Iceland, deep in the woods and the snow, there lives a lad raised by wolves who feasts upon sunbeams and loves all of nature, unburdened by man’s sins. Tenderly, he strokes a hungry squirrel, sharing with her the last acorns of the autumn harvest. A tear rolls down his cheek. Who is he