What we see, and what we seem

Shiz. Elphaba, that very first night. He’d never met a girl like her before, never met anyone like her really, and not just the greenness of her skin or the fact that he couldn’t immediately charm her.

(He thought that said good things about her character, that his patented princely charm did nothing for her).

He found her…interesting. Fascinating even. And somehow this interest, managed to end up giving him the closest friend group he’d ever had. Galinda may have been an obvious pick, but he can’t imagine actually being her friend if Elphaba hadn’t come attached. Most likely their farce of a relationship would have continued without even a hint of anything real. Without Elphaba, would he have bothered to befriend Nessarose, the quiet and serious girl who seemed to like him, but also seemed to be just as immune to his charms as her sister? Without Nessarose, would Boq have had the courage to befriend the roommate he often seemed intimidated by? Fiyero had never had a circle of friends before.

All of this, and Elphaba too, who as time went on was beginning to make his heart thud in a manner he had long thought fiction.

And he was suddenly very invested in not getting kicked out of Shiz. He even found himself actually studying.

This is what’s on his mind the day he’s preparing to sneak the Lion cub south to meet his sister. He’s hitched Feldspur to a tree a few paces away, so he can bring him to meet him slowly.

“I know it’s better for him,” Elphaba comments, breaking through his chaotic thoughts, “but I’m going to worry not knowing what’s going to happen to him.”

And Fiyero agrees, but doesn’t tell her this. It’s nothing that can be helped. The Lion will be better off with other Lions and the longer they keep him here, the higher the chance of consequences for all three of them. He knows Elphaba knows this.

He tightens his pack on his shoulder and prepares to guide the Lion to meet Feldspur, not wanting to spook him.

Elphaba’s face is still a bit anxious. He swallows and offers a “Make sure to keep up on my schoolwork,” as a way of farewell, and this makes her smile, if a tiny one. That’s enough. A friendly pat to the shoulder is also enough. It has to be for now. He tries not to think that her skin is warm.

He’s struck by the desire to kiss her goodbye. That’s not strange really, it’s happened before. Though admittedly, it had always been rather vague, more a desire to be kissed than to kiss a specific person. But it’s accompanied by something new. He thinks Elphaba would like to meet his sister, Illyanora. He thinks they would get along and he would like to introduce them. He’s never had the urge to introduce any of his dates, or any of his friends even, to his family.

That scares him a little. He learned very early that it was best to keep his heritage close to his chest. The rest of Oz had their own ideas about what it meant to be a prince, what it meant to Vinkun and he let them. No use in correcting them.

At least he’s not the only one a little scared. The cub- he’s bigger than a cub now too- shakes when he meets Feldspur, shakes every time they stop to catch their breath, shakes when Fiyero pulls him onto the saddle with him so he can rest, and shakes when they meet their destination hours later, as the evening sun is setting.

One of the other Lions comments that as much as he shakes, maybe thought ought to start calling him Brr. Fiyero doesn’t think that’s a good name, but given that Elphaba and him couldn’t come up with a better one, it might stick. The pride here lives on the outskirts of a large town, in dwellings they’ve built up themselves, most still living a bit wild though many work normal jobs to support them.

It will be safer if anything worse happens to the Animals in Oz, Fiyero hears Elphaba’s voice saying in his ear. Safer if he’s with others who already know how to get by without people.

Illy assures him that her Biological science class does field work out here, so she’ll be able to check in now and then. The two of them have stopped to eat supper before Fiyero needs to return to campus, planning to ride at night to avoid being seen, and so he won’t be gone longer than he needed to be.

Illy raises an eyebrow at that, at him worrying about being missed at school.

Fiyero is sheepish. She’s his favorite sister and he can’t hide from her, he never could. She was his only sibling who understood him.

“Yes, and it is a girl.”

“That’s not new,” Illy comments, “There’s been girls and boys the same that you go about with but never one that made you care about school. Is she special?”

She is, but Fiyero wants to keep her to himself for a little while longer. So he changes the subject to how school is going for Illy that year, and whether or not he’s going home for Lurlinemas (he’s not sure yet).

While he and Feldpur return to campus, Fiyero reflects that thinking of Elphaba that way is rather ridiculous. She wasn’t his, even in the metaphorical sense. She belonged to no one, and he suspects she might not even appreciate the metaphor.

And really, he’s more than a little clueless as to what to do about it.

He hates to admit that he’s never had to actually be the one to express interest in someone before, people have always come to him. He watches Galinda with Elphaba from a distance, with Galinda trying to not pay him even a bit of nevermind, trying to move on just like him. She seems almost as clueless about this as he feels.

He almost asks her advice, but he suspects that Galinda advice will not help when it comes to Elphaba. She wouldn’t much appreciate comments on her appearance, in fact he suspects she would misconstrue them. Flowers are a possibility, but seem a bit forward at this point. He’s almost considering the schoolyard possibility of a punch in the arm then running back to his mates.

Because Elphaba is truly not like any girl he’s met before. He’s not certain what sort of gesture she would appreciate. He knows that his other go-to, acting the clown to make people pay attention to him, will also not work. In fact it actually seemed to make her deliberately pay less attention to him in an attempt to make him stop.

Truthfully, he finds annoying her kind of fun, but it’s not what he wants now.

He finds at least part of an answer to his conundrum one day when the whole group of them are in the poppy fields.

Out here, the whole group had surrounded him while he told them about what had happened to the Lion cub. After they were finished, the group shifted a bit as it tended to, Boq and Nessa to one side themselves, and Galinda finding her self closer to them in order to keep herself a little distance from him, but bridging the gap, and Elphaba on her other side, doing her best to stuff what they are supposed to be learning about Biology into his head.

She’s rambling about how the taxonomy of Species really is quite simple in that tone that she thinks he is the one who is really quite simple for needing it explained to him, and he clears his throat, she looks up, and he asks.

“Elphaba,” he says simply, “I don’t get it. Please help me get it.”

And with his words, her tone softens. That made sense, he thought. That she responded so well to sincerity. It’s obvious he thinks, but in his experience, people frequently did not want it.

One day, he decides to just get it over with, and after an especially long and (clearly to her, infuriating. She’s still fuming) history lecture, he asks.

“I need to clear my head. Fancy heading off campus to get a coffee?”

It’s casual, which he assumes is good. And Elphaba is a fan of coffee, tea and all sorts of caffeinated beverages that power her ability to have her nose in a book for longer.

She smiles, and his heart leaps and she says, “That’s a good idea.”

Fiyero just about feels himself start floating, when she turns and calls over her shoulder.

“Galinda, come one, we’re getting coffee!”

Oh. Too casual maybe. That’s a wrinkle he didn’t expect. While they are at the table in the coffeeshop, Fiyero studies Elphaba’s expression looking through her notes, and idly wonders if anyone has ever asked her out before.

He admits defeat at this point and decides he needs to call for aid. Eyeing Galinda carefully blowing at her drink to cool it off, he pushes that thought away again.

And so he flails about for another option.

He finds Boq and Nessa helping set up decorations at an event they’re assisting with for the Shiz Unionist Society at the chapel. He knows Elphaba doesn’t have a religious bone in her body and wouldn’t be caught dead here, so that’s a bonus.

“Fiyero!” Nessarose calls out when she sees him, from where she’s trying to hang a banner, “Hold this for me will you?” she asks, which he does as she carefully stands, bracing her hand on the wall and using the other one to stick the pin in the fabric (ah, she must need the wall to balance, but needs two hands for the task). She adjusts the banner before sitting back down with an “oof”.

“Thanks,” she tells him, “Sometimes I really need a third hand…so why’d you come by? Are you interested in the teachings of the Unnamed God?”

Fiyero coughs, not wanting to get into a discussion about his deeply held agnosticism.

“It’s not that-” Nessa’s face falls, but she still looks upbeat. There’s a table with some chairs beside them, so he pulls one out and sits in it so he won’t stumble. He’s kind of glad it’s only her and Boq is on the other side of the room setting up the punch bowl.

“I want to ask your sister out,” Nessa jerks her head to face him, “and I’m not sure how to go about it.”

Nessarose is quiet for a moment, her smile gone and eyes steely, her expression changed on a dime,

“Fiyero that’s mean,” she says quietly, “Elphaba may be weird but she still has feelings. You shouldn’t play a joke on her like this.”

For the first time in his life, Fiyero finds himself without words. All he can do is blink several times, hoping Nessarose’s words will begin to make more sense somehow.

“...it’s not a joke…” he finally manages. Nessa’s face does not change.

“Right,” she says, her voice even, “You just decided Galinda wasn’t good enough for you and what you really wanted was a stalk of asparagus on your arm.”

Fiyero finds himself without words again. He thinks Nessa’s the one being mean now, that last bit was way beyond being worried for her sister’s feelings. And she could be rather…rigid some of the time, but he would have never taken her for cruelty.

“I thought better of you,” she continues, “And she’ll probably say no anyway, no one’s ever asked her out before. She’ll see right through your trick.”

Well…at least that was a bit of the information that he had wanted. It gives him something more than he had before, in addition to his indignation.

He rolls the issue around in his head for the next few hours, and he likely would have given it even more time if he had not been knocked down by the storm that was Galinda later that very same day.

It was after dinner, and he was just walking back to his dorm, when she approached him, in a rather harried manner, and backed him into the wall. And she looked furious, but somehow serene about it. He’d never seen her look like that before.

“I have to say Tigelaar,” she began sweetly. He’s never heard her use his surname either, “I reviewed all of the gossip published in the Shiz Gazette before you arrived-” Fiyero restrains from commenting that most of it was probably claptrap anyway, “- and none of it suggested you were a practical joker.”

Ahh.

“Good to know Nessarose can’t keep things to herself,” he mutters, but Galinda seems undeterred.

“-and it’s really very unbecoming. I don’t know if you just feel the need to prove something to people- or, or, if you want to get back at me somehow-”

Fiyero blinks and sighs internally. Oh Galinda, self-absorbed as she certainly could be.

“...that’s not what it’s about-” he insists, barely able to get a word in edgewise.

“But she’s my best friend, so kindly leave her out of it, you…” Galinda trails off slightly when he speaks, and he takes his opening.

“I want to ask Elphaba out, because I want to ask her out. I thought Nessa might have some advice on how I should do it, but she jumped down my throat immediately…”

Galinda’s frozen, but still has an expression like she feels like she should be yelling.

“...you want to ask Elphaba out? My roommate Elphaba Thropp, intellectually brilliant, socially reticent and rather green?”

He was filing that away in his head. He wonders if Elphaba was aware that Galinda would describe her as such. But there’s more important things to address. He swallows before responding,

“Yes.”

Galinda continues, her face softer, but still not quite believing.

“And you’re not doing this for a laugh, or to hurt her feelings in any way?”

Fiyero feels a twinge in his chest at the thought. From Nessa’s reaction, he can’t help but wonder if some Munchkin boy had tried that at some point, approaching Elphaba only to laugh and run back to his friends, knowing she had no recourse.

He decides to jump in. Maybe Galinda will have better advice for him than he expects.

“And I just- I know she’s used to people laughing at her. I tried to keep it casual, but she didn’t realize what I meant-”

“She didn’t?”

“-being that she immediately invited you along too, I don’t think so- I mean, unless she actually doesn’t like me at all and wanted to let me down easy. Has she said anything of that nature to you?”

That thought had been in the back of his head. Though Fiyero had never really experienced rejection, he knew it was a possibility, and if Elphaba wasn’t swayed by the charm offensive, that made it somewhat more likely.

Galinda’s face has turned thoughtful, though still pulled tight like a muscle that she expects to have to use very soon.

“She has not. She sometimes complains about you being annoying, but it’s always in a…rather fond way. Last year I might have thought it was for my benefit but…”

Fiyero beams. Fond was a very good one to hope for.

“So you think she might say yes? Any advice?”

Galinda’s face stays thoughtful, her mouth pursed, her eyelashes low. Her posture remains somewhat guarded. Fiyero’s heart flutters. That was the other reason he’d resisted asking her about this. He truly hadn’t wanted to cause Galinda any pain, he did consider her a friend, and while she had been truly putting on a good show of it, he knew there had to be at least a little resentment or hurt underneath, she was only human after all.

After a long minute, she responds.

“Well, the Harvest moon dance is next week in town…”

Fiyero frowns. He knew this, it was that point in autumn. It was a big event, everyone at Shiz was planning to go, curfew was even being relaxed that day.

“With the masquerade? Elphaba doesn’t really seem like the type-”

“She is not. She has told me twice she has no intention of going, even when I offered to help her pick her costume and mask-”

Ah good, he doubts even pointing out that she could wear a mask would go over well.

“What I was going to suggest, was since basically everyone is going to be at the dance, that you should pack a picnic and take her to watch the moon rise from the poppy fields.”

Fiyero rolls the thought around in his head.

“Is that not…awfully private? I thought something public might make her feel more comfortable…”

“Fiyero, Elphaba’s my best friend. I regaled her with every detail of our romance last year- including that despite what the papers said about you that you were a perfect gentleman. I’m fairly sure she’s not going to worry that you’re going to jump her bones as soon as you’re alone. Besides-”

Her face is now almost painfully earnest. This is the Galinda that Fiyero actually likes, the one underneath the face she showed to the world.

“Private or privatish might be better. If this goes well, and the two of you actually start-”

Almost imperceptibly, her words stumble.

“Seeing each other regularly, other people are going to see you, and will say things- both to you and behind your back. Elphaba might need some time to get used to that.”

Fiyero…hadn’t really thought about that.

“She’s used to being stared at and used to always getting attention of the negative sort. There will be more of that and she’s going to have to adjust.”

And with that, Galinda turns to retreat. Fiyero calls after her.

“Galinda- please don’t tell her, give me a chance first.”

She pauses, still looking away from where he stands.

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t.”

And she leaves before he can say anything else.

He thinks for a day or two about what Galinda had said. He hadn’t really thought about what him and Elphaba dating might mean for how the rest of the students at Shiz treated her. He should have. He’s still not sure what to do with it- but if things go well, he’ll talk to her about how she feels about it. They can do that, talk about things. He’d been looking forward to it actually.

And so, he gathers his thoughts, and smooths down his hair.

In one of the hallways leading off of the mess hall and to the individual dormitory halls, there are several cut outs in the wall, to open up the space and allow proper natural light to come through, Galinda had once told him. The cut outs are more than wide enough for a person to sit in comfortably, with their backs to one side. This was a common place to find Elphaba when she simply wanted to read and didn’t need the extra space the library desks and tables allowed.

And the hallway was quiet now as it was almost late.

“That’s not for class is it?” Fiyero begins when he approaches her, as she looks up from her book. He takes his spot opposite her in the cut out, back to the other wall. They’re close enough that their feet would touch if they both extended their legs, but they don’t.

“No, it’s just an old adventure novel I’ve been meaning to get around to reading,” she tells him, putting in a bookmark and resting it on her lap.

He nods, and is quiet for a few minutes. Lets the hallway empty out all the way.

“So the Harvest Moon dance is next week…”

Elphaba slumps.

“Did Galinda put you up to this? I told her I’m not interested in putting on a ridiculous…”

“No-” Fiyero cuts her off, “I was thinking, the view of the moon should be really beautiful from the poppy fields. I was thinking of packing a picnic and heading out there to watch. I wanted to know if you would come with me?”

Elphaba’s upper lip twitches into a smirk.

“I know you’re a little behind in chemistry, but if the moon’s out it’s going to be pretty hard to study…”

He doesn’t want to cut her off again, he knows that annoys her, but he wants to get a word in edgewise.

“No.” another swallows, “I wanted, I wanted to take you out,” a pause, to first let his words sink, “Just you. And I thought you might enjoy spending time watching the moon rise with me instead of having to be in the middle of your classmates with them watching you while I try to convince you to dance.”

His words sink in, and her lip twitches again.

“Is this a joke?” she asks, her voice very flat, yet somehow with an edge.

Well, if there was any question in his mind that she and Nessarose were definitely related. He chuckles, not too loudly. He does his best to cast off his airs, to be as much himself as he had been able to be in the forest with the cub. To convince her of his sincerity as he had managed there.

“Elphaba, I may not have learned as much as I should have this past year,” self-deprecating, that was a good choice maybe? “But I have picked up on acting like a fool will not make you pay attention to me.”

He looks her in the eye, even though she’s trying to avoid it, and gives her a bit of time.

“I just want to spend some time with you,” he says quietly.

There’s a long pause.

“Alright,” another pause, “Do I need to like…”

Fiyero shakes his head.

“I asked, so I plan. I’ll come by your dorm once people start leaving for the dance. No one will even notice.”

He stands, and has to use every ounce of self-control he would have once claimed he lacked not to reach out and take her hand. Too much, too soon, he knows.

“It’s a date then?” he says, voice light. He doesn’t want there to be any confusion at all.

And after what seems like forever, she nods, her eyes wide and face serious.

He beams. It takes all his strength not to let the joy burst out of him. He then takes his pack and turns to return to his dorm.