too many buttons begging to be pressed

Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train was moving while sitting still? Maybe l was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe l was just a girl interrupted. When you don't want to feel death can seem like a dream. But seeing death really seeing it makes dreaming about it fucking ridiculous. Maybe there's a moment, growing up when something peels back. Maybe we look for secrets because we can't believe our minds. Though l missed Lisa, life was easier without her. A thought is a hard thing to control. All l know is that l began to feel again. Crazy? Sane? Whatever l was, l knew there was only one way back to the world... What the fuck are you doing, Lisa? I'm pIaying the viIIain, Iike you want. I give you everything you want. No, you don't. You wanted your fiIe? I got it. You wanted out, I got you out! You needed money, I found you some. I toId you the truth! I didn't write it in a book! I toId you to your face! I toId Daisy what everybody knew and wouIdn't say, and she kiIIed herseIf. I pIayed the fucking viIIain. Just Iike you wanted? Why wouId I want that? Because it makes you the good guy, sweet pea. You come back here, aII sweetness and Iight and sad and contrite and everybody wrings their hands,congratuIating you on your bravery.