𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊 ( ﹠ ) 𝑳𝑶𝑨𝑫

to be honest if my pants aren't like a vice grip on my balls with any movement that is more strenuous than a brisk walk, i really don't know how to function.

oh my god i'm bored.

my best friend fireball.

oh my god i ate an insane amount of mozzarella cheese.

funniest thing about the dmc universe being sort of like the Real World but not quite is that he has no idea who god or jesus is. because his dad is demon jesus.

hi guys.

four patties, no bun, no nothing. maybe even five.

pain. suffering. agony.

having a moment thinking about dante and trish and the idea of them having a weird relationship because trish was created specifically to resemble dante's mom in order to hurt him, and then trish canonically has some sort of borderline maternal feelings towards dante, but then also the idea of trish being somewhat resentful of that because 1: it makes her beholden to yet another man which is something she is trying to push back against in her own journey of self discovery and 2: it must be difficult to parse whether it's genuine, or if it's a product of the purpose she was created for. and then they're also reflections of one another especially re: trish's flamboyant over-performance of femininity + dante's flamboyant over-performance of masculinity and then ALSO i just really love the idea of, since trish is supposed to be the spitting image of dante's mother, the two of them (in theory, though i think the only game that gets even close to this is 5) looking alike but the average onlooker would probably assume they're siblings. (dante voice) they don't know that she's a demon created by the former king of hell to look like my mom to cause me immense amounts of emotional and psychological pain