62 Weeks

50 posts! yay. -__-

My weekly visit to the doctor revealed the following: My blood pressure is positively responding to the medication. According to the doctor, I'm responding well to the medication and my depressive symptoms are improving; however, the doctor upped my lithium. I'm not really sure how I feel about this. Honestly, I've been feeling like a fucking zombie since I went on these medications, and it's taking my edge away. I have no motivation to do any of the things I was doing before I started these medications, and I'm kinda pissed off about it. Like, all I want to do is sleep. Is that normal?

Sometimes there is sadness in our journey, but there is also beauty. We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we are hurting or we will never know what is waiting for us around the bend. -Brigitte Nicole

Sometimes, the best thing that you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe and have faith that everything will turn out for the best.

Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you.

“Just because one person’s problem is less traumatic than another’s doesn’t mean they’re required to hurt less.” J.A. Redmerski, The Edge of Never

He will be sorely missed. And the more I read about his life and his private struggles, the more I'm convinced that we have to do better about taking care of our creative souls.

A friend came to town and we hung out and talked, and had a mini-sleepover. We do this at least once or twice a year, and usually, it's very fun and I enjoy myself thoroughly. This time, I was so exhausted after he left, though. Like, I got home, and I was completely spent. I think it's the meds I'm taking. They have altered my entire outlook. I go back to the doctor tomorrow and I think I might have to make mention of how I've been feeling.

"To deal, or not to deal, is always the question." Today, I just don't feel like dealing. I'll try again tomorrow.

"If you cannot be yourself, you don’t belong there — wherever ‘there’ is."

indeed.

I'm feeling contemplative. Thinking that there are some people in my life who would rather not bear witness to my healing and recovery. That makes me sad.

25 posts! I'm kinda late with this, but whatever.

Most days it's like the latter for me... and I'm learning (slowly) that it's alright.