SUPER FIGHTING ROBOT

Happy #AceDay! 

May 8th is Ace Visibility Day. You might see some people posting playing cards all over their blogs, and here’s why: each card represents a different part of the Asexual spectrum!

♥ Ace of Hearts: Alloromantic Asexual - experiences romantic attraction regularly toward one or more genders. This includes orientations such as heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, polyromantic, and panromantic.

♠ Ace of Spades: Aromantic Asexual - does not experience romantic attraction toward any gender.

♦ Ace of Diamonds: Demiromantic/Demisexual & Grey-aromantic/Grey-Asexual- Experiences romantic and/or sexual attraction only if a strong emotional bond is established. OR Experiences romantic/sexual attraction rarely, not strongly enough to act on, only under specific circumstances, or fluctuates between periods of experiencing attraction and not experiencing it.

♣ Ace of Clubs: Questioning/Unsure of Orientation - Aware they fall on the aromantic and/or asexual spectrum, but not sure where.

So much of the Euro-American understanding of being trans (or anything other than 100% constantly identified with your assigned gender) focuses on discomfort. 

Some people take this idea to an extreme and claim you can’t be trans unless you hate your body and want every surgery available to you. As many other writers have said before, that’s not true. It’s perfectly possible to be trans with only mild dysphoria or none at all. It’s perfectly possible to be trans and have a mental map of your body that looks just like the one you already have. 

But I’d like to push even harder against the idea that trans=discomfort. I’d like to offer this: sometimes the exploration of one’s gender can be motivated by pleasure rather than discomfort. 

Let me give an example. Let’s say there’s a person named Cal. Most people think of Cal as a boy, and Cal’s all right with that. So far as Cal’s concerned, a boy isn’t a bad thing to be. But sometimes, Cal likes to imagine being a girl and being treated as a girl. Those fantasies are always accompanied by feelings of pleasure, satisfaction, anticipation, and warmth. Eventually, having had these thoughts for years, Cal asks people to use ‘she’ pronouns in private and to refer to her as a girl. Cal does this for another year before claiming the label “trans”. 

Some people would say a person like Cal can’t be trans because there’s no dysphoria, self-hatred, distress, or even discomfort. There’s just a pleasure-based preference. But why is distress necessary? Why are trans people supposed to be defined solely by our pain and self-hatred?

It’s my opinion that defining trans people solely by discomfort is an aspect of transphobia. The idea behind trans=discomfort is that being anything other than 100% cis is so awful that no one would do it unless the alternative were unlivable. Think about that: defining trans people solely by their experiences of discomfort means believing that being trans is so awful that only misery could drive us to it. And to me, that sounds like the thinking of someone who really hates trans people.

steven expressions, episodes 1-10

Surrounding myself with self-depreciating people who constantly talked down about their personalities, bodies, and abilities and festered in their perceived inadequacies with no intention of improving their situation in turn made me feel demotivated, ugly, talentless, hopeless, judged and judgmental.

Surrounding myself with motivated people who made the best of whatever their situation might be, respected their bodies, and took pride in what they did made me feel inspired, confident, focused, and proud of the accomplishments and confidence of everyone around me.