is that a nothing in your pants or are you just normal to see me

Must not pick that scab off. It will not in fact get rid of the scab and just create a different scab. The scab is not done cooking yet. I am completely normal about scabs. <-gripping the edges of his chair so tightly the wood is starting to crack

i wanna see more stories with a time skip epilogue where at least one character has clearly transed their gender and it isnt really remarked upon. bonus if none of them were remotely hinted to be trans until that moment because i think it'd be funny to watch a fandom react to that. your blorbo's happily ever after involves being a woman. dont worry about it.

I’m getting ads telling me to replace live porch flowers with plastic ones because the plastic ones don’t die and buddy I can tell you from personal experience that those flowers will fade until they look like they’ve achieved a new kind of death

i dont agree with outdoor cats but i gotta admit the fact me and my roommate can fondly talk about local cats like theyre our beloved neighbours is pretty cool. do i know any of the humans who live in my neighborhood? not particularly. do i know the little tuxedo cat with the pink collar who recognises the ice cream truck music and comes out to get pets from all the kids? of course they're a local celebrity to me.

[AFTER REVEALING VERY TELLING PERSONAL INFO] But don’t read into that. let’s move along

my beautiful twin babies squeamish and queasy

under utilized comic gimmick is super big text bubble filled with very few words/just one word

can someone turn the lights on in that jpeg

if the pasta senses you're pure of heart you dont need a colander to strain it #pastawhisperer

they should invent a sleep schedule. any at all