just me

Close to the end of the year… few have stayed… many have left… A good year!

I measure everything in time

Time is the most valuable currency of exchange

I measure others' response time

I measure reaction time

I measure love / sex / forgiveness and healing

It’s been 3 months since my last heartbreak

Enough pain and sorrow

I’m done.

Still trying to figure out where this is going. I guess sometimes, when you don't want to step out of your comfort zone, life finds a way to push you. I've never liked change or surprises, and I feel so lost when I lose control over my own things. I do believe something great is waiting for me out there — but I have to do the work…

You’ve got to pay in life… You’ve got to pay for everything… Just to make it right.

I'm still learning... how to run away from myself

I have a talent for attracting the wrong people into my life… or maybe the right ones. People who bring out a different side of me, a woman I keep trying to bury

Happy..

Once again I hit in my head..

Trauma changes you in so many ways

You want to be normal, you want to be happy and for a while you can actually achieved it

But then the person next to you do something that triggers you..

And the first time when he does it, you fight your demons away

But the second time when he makes a mistake...it's harder to fight the demons..

And guess what ... people do make mistakes and not all of them are abusive, toxic and etc.

Yes ...we all make mistakes...it's just that for me, a victim of abuse, every mistake makes me feel so insecure, so afraid, so small..

And I just can be with someone that I care about and get triggered so often...I get hurt and I hurt him

So yeah...I told him good by

I will be grieving again for a very long time

He was a really really decent person