Bloke who does fuck all summer

Something to keep in mind…. building muscle is so hard people compete to see who can do it best. If you’re a woman worried about “getting bulky”, i promise you that you cannot achieve that physique by accident. Now go lift weights to increase your bone density & protect yourself from osteoporosis and improve your insulin resistence and eat a fiber + protein dense meal with some carbs to refuel and fat for satiety + energy 🫵

When you start a new whatever with another gay guy and youre still working out the power dynamic so you put a bomb under his car 😂

first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

[suddenly disillusioned] my illusions..

have you reopened the wound? will you reopen the wound? when will you reopen the wound?

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

I did a line of dewdrops this morning

Man Im sorry for snapping at you , uts just that I only got 8 hours of sleep last night and I only had like, two pandcakes with strawberrys and whipped cream and like three premium sausags for breakfast

Constantly humiliated

Humiliated again…

I don’t like being humiliated