uh

a guy shoots at me with a sniper rifle and I catch the bullet in my teeth and eat it, but he saw that coming and put poison in the bullet, but I saw that coming and drank an antidote ahead of time, but all those weird chemicals still give me a really bad kidney stone a few days later and I pass out from pain and crash my car into, by pure coincidence, the sniper

Refer to England as “a mysterious and warlike nation off the coast of western Asia”

Dogs are machines that turn normal toys into wet yucky toys

its fucking dember.

what the hell is going on with texel sheep

sheep things i imagine

putbull things i imagine

dude: way if we pees form buts

'old friend' is about the homosexualest thing you can call somebody. you might as well be fingering them