crone of the queefdom

So fucking true it hurts

WHAT KINDA FAIRY TALE CHILDREN’S BOOK BULLSHIT IS THIS?????!?!?!!!!

DO BIRDS PAY TAXES

No but they should. Feathery freeloading motherfuckers

lauren set me up with this snake

the a in lgbtqa stands for allstar by smash mouth

where’d you hear that

someBODY ONCE TOLD ME

TUMbLR IS MAGIC

(Something along the lines of) Person A: gasp! Person B: ? Person A: your bra strap is showing Person B: [I don’t give a fuck bitch starts playing]

#I can’t believe Cookie Monster is a Crystal Gem

I have memorized all the digits of pi, I just don’t know what order they’re in.

Best use of Twitter yet

A man just walked past me and said “excuse me, but you look very nice tonight darlin” I said thank you and he said you’re welcome and walked off. And that is how you compliment a woman without harassing them

No, that is still unsolicited, and thus, harassment. No amount of “darlins” is gonna make me not want to punch your ass for coming on to me without provocation.

“It’s Raining Men,” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor,” are about the same event, but wildly different perspectives.

!!!

Thanks Obama.