there’s something extremely wholesome about Kenny’s joy despite having lived throughout centuries, changing their body and adapting to technological advancement and societal change. like enjoying finer things in life, being interested in comedy and games to the point they designed their biggest scientific experiment as a massive interactive game, taking the villains to cafes and playgrounds, teaching them jujutsu rules through board games. the list goes on.
you’d think living for so long with no consistency would eventually drain an individual, result in some sort of identity crisis (like it was the case for a couple of other characters) or make them power hungry, but neither of that is existent in the Kenny we know. they do even understand the human heart better than most of the characters in the story, which is very interesting.
(what they don’t have (anymore?) though is their regard of other people/ living beings of course lol, but their personal joy, curiosity about jujutsu, the world and other people remained).
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In honor of Gon's birthday I would like to take the chance and remind everyone that Gon is neither a monster not as self-centered as people make him out to be, because he tends to get mischaracterized and/or overlooked a lot.
Gon indeed has some selfish tendencies, but rather than being selfish he is more goal-oriented to the point he gets tunnel vision and fixates on one thing at a time.
Many people describe his behavior during the CAA as selfish due to him pushing Killua away and throwing away his life in the process of getting revenge.
What needs to be taken into a consideration though is that Gon is not only a kid dealing with the loss and grief of a mentor figure who was his first inspiration ever in life, but he is a kid whose sense of feeling inadequate comes to the surface more than ever as he fully takes on the responsibility of Kite's death that it is not his to assume in the first place.
Gon is willing to kill Pitou at the cost of throwing away his life in order to compensate for Kite's death as he sees it as his fault. Gon diminishing his life like that is tragic rather than selfish, because he reduces the importance of his own life so consequently he is not thinking how his death would affect Killua, because deep down he sees no value in his life.
The same can be said about Killua, too. These two are more similar than they realise. Killua not only pushes Gon away unintentionally by keeping secrets about many important stuff that involve both, but he also goes on a solo mission and being adamant he works better alone only for him to nearly die if it was not for Ikalgo.
If Gon doing basically the same thing is deemed as selfish, the same could be said about Killua's decision. Of course we can argue that the difference is that Killua's actions come from a place of love, however I think it is overlooked that while Gon's actions derive from a deep-seated lack of self-value and guilt, they also derive from grief which stems from fondness and attachment that have nowhere to go anymore and that is more of a humane behavior rather than a monstrous one.
In reality, both incidents are equally tragic because as Killua bleeds out and he feels his life fading away all he thinks of is Gon, which while on one hand it demonstrates his deep love and unwavering loyalty, on the other hand it exhibits that, similarly to Gon, he also does not value his life and reduces its importance without fathoming the pain his death would bring upon Gon.
The crucial difference here is that Gon was unware of Killua almost losing his life, while Killua ended up witnessing his best friend throwing away his life to the point he was unrecognizable.
This crucial difference highlights the reoccurring theme of how Killua always ends up sharing Gon's pain whereas Gon is ignorant to Killua's pain due to Killua being secretive and leaving Gon in the dark, perfectly highlight their striking difference in personalities where one is open about his emotions. Gon will declare his love, he will share his goals, he will openly cry in front of others, but Killua despite wanting to be close to Gon he will not allow him to be close enough to see the depths of his heart despite him be willing to tear his heart out and give it to Gon, if that meant Gon's happiness and safety, still he would never let Gon know about it.
It is grueling and arduous to love someone who does not love themselves or does not know how to accept love and that is what makes the relationship between Killua and Gon challenging. They are both reading the same book but they are not on the same page yet, and it requires a great amount of effort, vulnerability , communication and self-reflection from both sides to finally reach that same page at the same time.
That is why I need people to stop treating Gon as if he did something irredeemable or as if he single-handedly ruined his relationship with Killua without a chance of it ever recovering.
If Gon was truly selfish he would blame Killua about Kite's death to the same extent he did for himself, but he values Killua's life way more in contrast to his own to even think about that.
Not to mention that even if Gon killing Pitou was more personal than a sense of duty towards the world, the reality is that he is the only hunter who killed a royal guard by himself contributing this way to the rescue of humanity and even Kite acknowledges that and it's why the hunter association treated Gon as a hero and tried to save him to the best of their ability.
Surely, if the majority can sympathize with Meruem, who used to eat human brains, spit them out and killed kids or people without batting an eye, and still wish he had a happy ending, then they certainly can sympathize with Gon who is but a young kid experiencing the cruelty of the world that adds to his underlying mental issues, while trying to gain the approval of the father who abandoned him, right?
Anyways, happy birthday to my son, Gon Freecs. For your birthday this year I hope more people are able to see how complex and interesting you are.
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How do you feel about kacho and fugetsu? Do you think fugetsu will survive?
I wonder if their similarities to gon and killua will come into play.
so i’m actually just at the beginning of my succession war reread right now so i won’t answer this as thoroughly as i’d prefer, but kacho and fugestu are definitely two of my favorite characters in the succession war (kacho in particular) and have been for years! i love how kacho willingly takes on the brat princess trope for the sake of her sister and how like killua for gon she’s very willing to absorb hatred as long as it means fugetsu will be protected.
i’m generally of the opinion at least 3 or 4 princes will survive the succession war and that the kakin empire will collapse under the weight of its bubbling class struggle without an heir to king nasubi ever rising to power. it seems to me the black whale—carrying the pillars of the kakin empire—is imminently going to sink and the succession war won’t have the opportunity to be concluded. of these 3 or 4, i definitely think two of the survivors will be fugestu and woble, because hxh has a thing for the “weakest” either truly being the most powerful (komugi and alluka) or enduring through horrific circumstances (shidore) because togashi is deconstructing the idea that strength should or even can conquer all.
it looks to me like fugetsu has some of the most analytical hunters rallying behind her, and i think melody’s protection of her could easily become intertwined with kurapika’s protection of woble and whether everyone lives or dies could come down to whether or not he pursues vengeance.
as for the killugon parallels’ relevance, fugetsu is taking on the role of a sweet, young character who sorta loses it because they can’t bear the life or death stress they’re under. kacho is the full realization of a killua type character who is willing to die for the benefit of the one that they love the most. in hxh, sacrifices and love like that usually doesn’t go unanswered. togashi gets bleak, but never really hopeless or cruel. here’s to my girl fugetsu making it the whole way through.
one of these days i'll also talk about the parallels between these two lunatics:
two cruel, murderous hedonists, unable to empathize with those around them (goes without saying). both need to be number one, have mutual beef with benjamin. both drawn to aesthetics (camilla's penchant for fashion and luxury, tserriednich's fascination with 'art'). both treat people like disposable objects (camilla and her human voodoo dolls, tserriednich and his serial killer flesh collection). overpowered asfff: they both got two-nen beasts (camilla's self-developed cat who lived a million times + seed urn-given nen beast, tserriednich's original seed urn beast plus whatever the fuck else he managed to manifest in the background). then there's the fact that they both possess abilities to reverse death... and they both require them to be in a state of zetsu (kitty cat vs king crimson). i would also say that they both had their emotional growth stunted as a result of growing up Like That (camilla's whole talking about herself in third person and acting like a stubborn child, tserriednich having no emotional regulation as we see with his tendency to last out after morena's betrayal and whatever happened in his youth with the marksman competition)....
and hey. maybe they both have mommy issues wouldn't that be crazy duazul duazul come into my office real quick we need to talk--
PT moments in HXH that hit hard after experiencing their backstory (Part I)
Idk about you, but for me, going through Hunter X Hunter again after reading chapters 395-97 is to take emotional blow after emotional blow ;-;
So let's highlight those moments of pain! Because in this house we are masochists and we regularly invoke suffering upon ourselves
(Also I did say I would make this post at some point, so I'm trying to stick to my resolutions)
A few things I want to note first though
This "list" won't be in a strictly chronological order but rather in the order that I happened to come up with as I wrote (which just so happened to be chronological at first before I went off course). What it will be is heavily Chrollo-centric because I am nothing if not biased and especially unwell about him. The second part will be a bit more balanced. I think.
For the sake of not having to go over to the desktop version to upload a bunch of images (you can only upload 10 per post on the app version RIP) I have decided to split the post into 2 parts. In the past I have unwittingly gone down the road of uploading a dozen or so extra images via desktop and the experience was nothing short of a trial of patience (I wanted to rip my hair out). Maybe this solution is for the best though since the post would be ungodly long otherwise.
Without further ado, here are the moments that puncture my heart upon reread/rewatch
⸸ "Uvo-san, can you hear us? We are playing a requiem for you"
I can't go through the above moment anymore without immediately recalling this panel from chapter 397
The "Uvo-san" makes my heart hurt. 15 years on and that is still how Chrollo thinks of Uvogin, and how he refers to him away from the Troupe (aka as close to his true self as he gets). A decade of being Uvogin's boss never lessened the respect he holds for him.
I also think about this panel of them smiling at each other.
I think about how happy they made each other. How much they loved each other all the way until the end
⸸ Chrollo standing alone up on a stage
With the context of Chrollo's backstory this shot is extremely poignant. It always makes me think of this image
and then my heart is cut open
(Togashi knew what he was doing when he originally drew Chrollo up on that stage, I am 100% certain of it)
On this same token, Chrollo's ability becomes quite bittersweet the more you think of it because it also hearkens back to his love for acting and his talent for embodying different roles. I won't go into it more since I've already made a post about it which you can find here. Additionally (if you're sick of my yapping ass or just want to go even more in depth on the topic), you can read this post by @sugarchrollo
⸸ "In the beginning... we just wanted..."
"...to perform and have fun together"
"...to make ourselves and others happy"
"...to travel the world together"
"...to make life brighter and more hopeful for people like ourselves"
Any of the above could finish Chrollo's thought, really.
And that's what makes the line so fucking crushing. The PT's dreams and ambitions started out so innocent, and so kind. They only had good intentions. All they wanted was to bring joy to themselves and to others by doing something they were passionate about.
Added to this, the shot of the VHS tape feels like a knife to the chest when you recall that Sarasa is buried with it. Because of how it symbolized the happiest and most precious period in the PT's lives, which died when she did. They left a piece of themselves with her.
I am getting tears in my eyes writing this... Togashi what are you doing to me? (Ily for doing it. Any work of fiction or art that can evoke beautiful emotions like this is invaluably precious)
⸸ Chrollo and Pakunoda's final moment together
I mean... what can you even say about this moment? I don't think words suffice. Just contrast it with this panel in chapter 395.
(That sound you heard just now was my heart shattering to pieces btw.)
Chrollo and Paku's relationship is a tragedy, no matter if you view it as strictly platonic or as an unfulfilled romance (whether mutual or one-sided). Pakunoda went to her death knowing she'd betrayed Chrollo, the person she'd always loved more than anything on earth. Meanwhile Chrollo is left without having had the chance to talk with her a final time. To tell her that he forgives her (I'm of the opinion that Chrollo ultimately respects Pakunoda's decision, though disappointed by it, and that he doesn't hold anger or resentment towards her for making that choice. Only grief).
One also wonders how long it took until Chrollo learnt of her death. Maybe he predicted that that would be the outcome, but equally her death may have come as a devastating shock to him when informed of it. In any case, his leaving her spot deliberately vacant says everything about the love and respect he feels for her still. And about his forgiveness, imo.
⸸ "Because we're his friends, we don't want him to be a murderer!"
Gon's words to Pakunoda about Kurapika must have been like a sledgehammer (it for sure is to me) because of how it both echoes and contrasts her own experience with Chrollo at a similar age.
Look at this panel
Her expression after Chrollo's declaration says everything. She is devastated. But unlike Gon and Killua, Paku didn't stop her friend from becoming a killer. Instead she joined him on the path. Her circumstances were of course drastically different from Gon's and Killua's in that she shared her friend's trauma and need for vengeance, but in hindsight I think she deeply regrets that she didn't attempt to stop him. Not for the sake of his victims mind you but for Chrollo's sake full stop (Pakunoda is by no means a saint or even a good person, make no mistake). Phinks' message to the boys that "Paku wanted to thank you" adds weight to that belief, and this regret seems to be something that he (and likely the rest of the OG members) sympathize with to some extent after receiving her memories (at least that's my reading of this).
⸸ Chrollo's tears after Uvogin's death is confirmed to him
The similarity of this panel
to this one where he cries for Sarasa is striking
At his core, when it comes to his friends/family? He's still the same. He still cares so deeply for his loved ones. He just doesn't feel as free to convey that care as openly as he once did, hence why he comes across as colder even in his relation to them. It's significant that the one time we see Chrollo cry as an adult is when he's away from his Troupe. When he talks about Uvogin with them he's pragmatic, strategical, unemotional. He's the aloof leader through and through.
(Not that the Troupe are fooled by this cool demeanor he puts on around them. Not anymore, at least. Bonolenov confirms in chapter 405 how obvious his love for and grief over his friends are to them, and that Chrollo in turn is aware of the fact that they are aware... which makes him act even more nonchalant in an attempt to cling on to the "Danchou" persona he's been wearing since he was 14. A vicious and self destructive cycle indeed. It makes it obvious how damaged and how stunted Chrollo is in some ways as a result of his trauma and his enforced responsibilities, for all his intelligence and charisma.)
⸸ "Chrollo, we still need you... even if that means betraying the Spider"
Jumping back on the ChrolloPaku pain express, Paku's feelings and sentiments re: Chrollo hurt especially when you recall the way she used to look at him when they were children
She loved him. Adored him. Admired him.
And she still does, even after all that had happened. Even after their relationship changed (him becoming her leader, and she being unable ever to touch him due to the Nen vow she imposed on herself). She loved him to the point where she would betray him and give up her life if it meant she could save his.
I'm not ok. These two destroy me. Leave me in shambles. Fuck </3
⸸ The PT's reverence and love for Chrollo
It's not just Pakunoda who adores Chrollo. The rest of the Troupe do, too. (See this post here that I wrote for cute examples of this adoration). Their feelings were obvious even before the backstory. But we didn't know precisely how they came about. The backstory chapters made that touchingly clear. Chrollo changed their lives, gave them a sense of purpose, and of unadulterated joy; both to possess and to give to others. There is no overestating just how central Chrollo has been to them all ever since childhood.
The sad thing is (which I point out in the linked post) that Chrollo himself doesn't grasp just how important he as an individual and as a friend is to all of them, but fully expects them to swiftly sacrifice him and replace him if it benefits the Spider.
⸸ "I believe... that we have a soul"
Chrollo's statement to Neon reminds me of his words after Sarasa's death, where he talks about meeting her in the afterlife. What's interesting is that back then as an 11 year old Chrollo seemed uncertain as to whether the afterlife is a reality (the possibility that it isn't was part of the reason why Chrollo was hellbent on revenge), whereas as an adult he seems confident in his belief that an afterlife (or at least an immortal soul independent of the corporeal body) exists. Not only his words to Neon, but also his speech to the dead Uvogin and his acceptance that Uvo's soul is "quietly rising" (presumably to Heaven) support this reading.
I talked about this in one of my other posts (I yap a lot about Chrollo as you've realized dhdjfj), but I find this belief of Chrollo's fascinating and rather unique in a villain. He's in a way become more hopeful since his childhood, in spite of his gruesome deeds and the horror that he's witnessed. It's undeniably quite touching (if a bit odd that he doesn't question Uvo's spirit rising rather than descending considering the shit he's done. Perhaps it's simply Chrollo's infamous hypocrisy at play or perhaps his view on the afterlife is as complex and unconventional as most things about him are, and therefore doesn't adhere to things as morality and divine punishments).
One last thing about this, and a contrast to Chrollo's attitude as a child vs adult. With Uvogin he was anxious to fulfill what he knew to be his wishes; with Sarasa, he knowingly went against them. I don't think this signifies anything tbh, but it's interesting to think about. I also wonder if Chrollo sometimes worries about meeting Sarasa in the afterlife, if doing what he knows she'd never approve of eats at his conscience still. Or if he's fully justified everything to himself after living half his life as a mass murderer.
That's it for Part I!! Part II to come sometime soon. Or at least that's the plan. Procrastination is a bitch.
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feels great to know gon and killua, meruem and komugi, meruem and gon, killua and komugi, meruem and killua, chrollo and kurapika, nobunaga and leorio, leorio and killua, meruem and gyro, gon and gyro, gon and nobunaga, gon and komugi, morena and chrollo, chrollo and leorio, pairo and leorio, pairo and killua, pairo and sarasa, kacho and fugetsu, ging and gon, mito and gon, chrollo and uvogin, hisoka and illumi, alluka and killua, koala and kite, nobunaga and kurapika, pariston and netero, kurapika and leorio, gon and hisoka, colt and meruem, illumi and killua, killua and mito, hisoka and chrollo, uvogin and gon, morena and borksen, pariston and ging, kite and komugi, netero and meruem, bonolenov and kurapika, kalluto and alluka, theta and oito, pitou and killua, illumi and pouf, youpi and knuckle, and gon and chrollo are all two sides of the same coin and togashi is a genius.
today is a very kurapika day for me. his first example of the world outside of his tribe is d-hunter, a romanticized depiction of the seemingly heroic lives that hunters lead. it’s this that inspires him to venture beyond the village and to undertake the hunter-esque task of finding a doctor to heal pairo. kurapika, like gon, was very sheltered. kurapika, like gon, had a very particular view of the adventure that the outside world held. but even when the cruelty of reality sets in through the massacre of the kurta, he still insists upon the nobility and honor of hunters.
he still has a very romantic view of the hunter world—though he does not consider himself to be apart of this valiant legacy. to avenge the kurta, he sacrifices his honor, inverts the nobleness of the hunter world he was so enamored with as a child. he uses the license for murder (though it disgusts him), torture, mafia dealings, etc, because he believes his suffering has locked him out of that sort of goodness. he pushes away gon, killua, and leorio, as if shoving them towards the direction of the “good” hunter world he admires, as he suffers in the darkness. if they were by his side still he feels it’d be impossible to accomplish his life’s mission of eliminating the spiders and reclaiming the kurta eyes at any cost.
in hxh, being a “hunter” can mean many things depending on who is asked. many take on the risks of the job for legacy, or money, or honor. it’s realistically a pretty horrendous system that incentivizes violence to accomplish your goals. i wonder then about kurapika, seeing the violence of the hunter world, and if he still sees a distinction between “honorable” hunters and hunters like himself or if he thinks the system of hunters encourages dishonor generally. i’d wager he does still think it encourages honor, and just doesn’t believe he’s deserving of it. he can’t be like d-hunter because he thinks the weight of his world is too heavy to rise into the light.
he wishes so badly to be a hunter like the one he saw in gon, but ironically, he’s the one who really introduces gon to the idea of self destruction through revenge. this “goodness” he’s seen the possibility of never seems to fully last so of course he tries not to get invested. i’d be really interested to see elaboration on his thoughts about what happened to gon in CAA and if he feels he bears any responsibility for leaving him as leorio clearly does.
the question is of course, what will he do now? will his affections towards oito and woble overcome his thirst for revenge? will he ever reclaim the honor him and pairo internalized and admired? will the child’s fantasy manifest as reality? we are left to wonder.
ging sucks sooooo bad like so bad like i know we all talk about how he’s a bum but i think more troubling than that is the fact that before mito took custody of gon, ging had already built a death trap game and hired convicts for the purpose of beating the fuck out of his son to “train” him and seemingly always wanted his then infant son to pursue a life of hunting. gon already has a disturbing understanding of his worth and it relates to strength; you have to wonder if ging had actually retained custody just what he would’ve put gon through as a child. when he does give gon up, he records a message urging gon to find him knowing the violent path he’s laid out for gon along the way. people get angry at mito and blame her for ging not being in gon’s life but she was completely correct he was an unfit guardian.
but also man, he’s such a sick character. his view of life is so abnormal and concerning and unlike gon who left whale island because of loneliness, ging had a huge family that didn’t fall apart until he left. he always wants what he doesn’t have. this simple motivation gives him a purpose. he wants to impart it onto his son; show him the worth of Lacking and how the Lack leads to the enjoyment of desire. and gon is the same way even in his treatment of ging. he liked the idea of hunting for ging more than ging himself. ging wasn’t even in gon’s life, and still influenced his behavior so heavily. the lesson is in the hunt. freecss family I Love You.
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He's a murderous pedo with super powers who never dies and is present in every arc. Writing a story is making a series of choices, so why make the choice of including this character and writing him this way?
While Hisoka connects with hxh's broader themes of humanity being conflicted, a mix of highs and lows, his main function I feel is rooted in storytelling.
In the most basic shonen story structure, a (young, male) character steps into a world of magical adventure, where their innate specialness allows them, through grit and willpower, to achieve their dreams.
Hisoka exists as a counter to the fantasy of one's specialness.
You can learn skills quickly? Hisoka can learn skill instsntly.
You want to win at Heaven's Arena? Hisoka is already undefeated there.
You're a kid. He's a grown up.
The same licence that means you can adventure without worry means he can kill without consequence.
The same power that you can use to protect yourself, he can use to hurt you.
Shonen is fundimentally mostly about being a shark in a sea of minnows. Putting you in the place of someone special and powerful, surrounded by lesser characters. Some may take work to overpower, and some may be out of reach right now (think of whales in the ocean metaphor), but no matter what all will ultimately fall to our protaganist's quick wit, iron will, and gay friendships.
Hisoka exists to ask the question: What if there was another, bigger shark? Would you still want to be in the ocean?
From there, Hisoka's actions and desires snap into clear focus: he must be obsessed with the struggle of equal power so he does not immidiately devour our protaganist. that leads to another obvious question. His obsession is framed as deeply erotic, in an otherwise asexual story stucture. Why?
Many shonen feature "sexy" women, but none of them are as unrepentantly sexually and physically agressive as Hisoka. His sexuality exists in a pocket of sexual horror that Togashi loves to draw from in hunterxhunter. The nudist lobotomy of pokkle, the human pets of the chimera ants, Tsrreidnich in general. Consistantly, sexuality is invoked during the of violating of body or mind.
Hisoka is supposed to exist as the ultimate counter to the shonen fantasy: a young boy fighter encounters a pedophile turned on by fighting. He is the logical anthesis to the fantasy at the core of shonen