Fanfic Lovers

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Gongsun Yin — The Rational Anchor

Professional Qualifications:

Elite strategist.

Administrative genius.

Master diplomat.

Human calculator.

Capable of predicting enemy troop movements three campaigns in advance.

Actual Job:

Officially, Gongsun Yin is Xie Zheng's closest friend, chief strategist, and trusted adviser.

Unofficially, he serves as:

A highly educated document courier.

Yan Zheng's mysteriously wealthy friend.

The owner of a conveniently profitable bookstore.

A secret financial sponsor of the Marquis of Wu'an's matrilocal husband lifestyle.

While other strategists spend their days calculating supply lines and military formations, Gongsun spends his time fabricating excuses, transporting paperwork, and quietly funding Xie Zheng's latest domestic project.

"Where did the money come from?"

"The bookstore."

"Who redeemed the hairpin?"

"The bookstore."

"Who bought the medicine?"

"The bookstore."

At this point, the bookstore possesses greater strategic importance than several provinces.

His role within the narrative is equally vital.

Whenever the plot becomes too tragic, Gongsun appears to either:

Gaslight someone for their own benefit; the Marquis of Wu'an is no exception.

Interrogate Xie Zheng about his feelings.

Suffer.

Usually all three at once.

He is widely known for being subtle, composed, and politically brilliant.

Unfortunately, he is also cursed with an imagination so dramatic it ought to be classified as a military threat.

Before meeting Fan Changyu, Gongsun had somehow convinced himself that the infamous butcher girl must be an enormous, terrifying woman who had tied Xie Zheng to a slaughter bench and coerced him into marriage through sheer force of personality.

In his defence, "Marquis of Wu'an voluntarily became a matrilocal husband" sounded less plausible than kidnapping. The reality—that Xie Zheng had fallen hopelessly in love and marched willingly into domestic bliss—was somehow the more unbelievable explanation.

Gongsun also famously refuses to wear armour on active battlefields because he firmly believes intelligence is a superior defence mechanism. This philosophy works remarkably well right up until the moment someone starts shooting arrows at him. At which point, intelligence rapidly discovers its limitations.

At some point, he spends much of the story coughing blood (both fake and real) while attempting to simultaneously manage:

A princess he is catastrophically in love with.

A commander suffering from an identity crisis.

To his credit, Gongsun somehow managed to keep the military encampment functioning while simultaneously preserving Xie Zheng's secret identity.

This was not an easy assignment.

His daily obstacles included:

A butcher's daughter who kept accidentally derailing carefully constructed military plans simply by existing.

A commander whose decision-making skills dropped by several alarming degrees whenever his wife was involved.

An entire army of otherwise competent adults who, when exposed to romance, collectively lost the ability to behave rationally.

Every time Gongsun believed he had finally grasped the situation, reality would unveil a fresh layer of absurdity.

One day, he was managing troop deployments. Next, he was explaining why the Marquis of Wu'an was secretly selling essays, buying large amounts of goods under false names, helping at a pork stall, and pretending to be a poor scholar who was forcefully conscripted to war while his wife unknowingly marched through the same military camp looking for him.

No military manual had prepared him for this.

His entire character arc can be summarised as:

"I studied strategy for twenty years. I mastered statecraft, diplomacy, logistics, military history, and political intrigue."

"None of it prepared me for Xie Zheng falling in love."

Or, as Gongsun likely realised somewhere around the middle of the war:

"The Marquis's enemy was never the rebels."

A.k.a The Corporate Clean-Up Crew

READ THE FULL CHAPTER HERE

Xie Wu, Xie Jiu, and Xie Qi are not related by blood.

They are, however, united by something much stronger:

Shared workplace trauma.

Specifically, the trauma of keeping Xie Zheng's double life from exploding.

Xie Wu — Human Resources Department

Professional Qualifications:

Large-scale troop deployment.

Military logistics.

Battlefield discipline.

Keeping thousands of soldiers alive under impossible conditions.

Actual Job:

Accidentally safeguarding the future Empress of Great Yin without knowing it.

Pretending not to notice that his Supreme Commander has a suspiciously complicated relationship with a certain butcher girl.

Stopping other romantically clueless members of the Xie Army from "helping."

Protecting the Marchioness at all costs.

Creating opportunities for Hou-ye and his wife to spend time alone without making it obvious.

Managing the consequences whenever those two inevitably create chaos.

Most importantly:

Maintaining a professional expression whenever someone asks inconvenient questions about why the Marquis of Wu'an is secretly working as a matrilocal husband.

This responsibility is, technically speaking, above his pay grade.

Xie Wu's greatest strength is adaptability.

Unfortunately, nothing in military training prepared him for Fan Changyu.

Imagine spending years mastering warfare, logistics, and command strategy only to discover your greatest challenge is writing an incident report that says:

Marchioness Fan administered knockout soup to the Marquis of Wu'an, stole his armour, impersonated a soldier, and personally joined the battle.

Without making the entire army sound completely insane. Even worse, all of it was true.

At some point, Xie Wu likely stared at the report for half an hour before deciding that future historians could deal with the problem.

His daily responsibilities also include preventing well-meaning idiots from exposing Xie Zheng's identity.

This is harder than it sounds. Half the army wants to help. The other half wants to congratulate Hou-ye on being married. Neither group understands the concept of secrecy.

As a result, Xie Wu spends most of his time intercepting conversations before they become disasters.

In another life, he would have made an excellent military commander.

In this one, he is effectively the Human Resources department for a family of emotionally compromised war heroes.

Every morning, Xie Wu wakes up hoping for an enemy ambush.

At least enemy ambushes follow logic.

Fan Changyu does not.

Xie Jiu — The Traumatised Actor

Professional Qualifications:

Counterintelligence.

Deep-cover operations.

High-risk infiltration.

Actual Job:

Community theatre.

During the military tribunal, Xie Zheng's identity must remain hidden from Changyu. Therefore the obvious solution is:

Put Xie Jiu in the Marquis's armour. Hide him behind a curtain. Give him a script. Tell him to pretend to be the most feared military commander in the empire. What could possibly go wrong?

Everything.

Absolutely everything.

The moment Changyu arrives, the script dies. Jin Yuanbao and the 'fan' club only make it worse. Then, Xie Zheng barges in. Changyu goes off-script. The fake Marquis is suddenly presiding over a domestic argument between a husband and wife who are both trying to volunteer themselves for punishment.

Xie Jiu spends the entire scene improvising like a man trying to defuse a bomb while being judged by Heaven. 

Xie Jiu is drafting his will and preparing to lose control of his bladder.

Frankly, surviving enemy assassins was probably easier.

Xie Qi — The Professional Third Wheel

Professional Qualifications:

Shadow operations.

Reconnaissance.

Message interception.

Actual Job:

Relationship support staff.

Because Xie Qi is competent, he is constantly assigned the most ridiculous errands.

Need a secret letter delivered?

Xie Qi.

Need somebody to check if the Marchioness is still angry?

Xie Qi.

Need emotional damage assessment after a marital disagreement?

Unfortunately. Also Xie Qi.

"This woman is the love of my life. I will never betray her, not until death do us part."

A.k.a The Corporate Clean-Up Crew

READ THE FULL CHAPTER HERE

Xie Wu, Xie Jiu, and Xie Qi are not related by blood.

They are, however, united by something much stronger:

Shared workplace trauma.

Specifically, the trauma of keeping Xie Zheng's double life from exploding.

Xie Wu — Human Resources Department

Professional Qualifications:

Large-scale troop deployment.

Military logistics.

Battlefield discipline.

Keeping thousands of soldiers alive under impossible conditions.

Actual Job:

Accidentally safeguarding the future Empress of Great Yin without knowing it.

Pretending not to notice that his Supreme Commander has a suspiciously complicated relationship with a certain butcher girl.

Stopping other romantically clueless members of the Xie Army from "helping."

Protecting the Marchioness at all costs.

Creating opportunities for Hou-ye and his wife to spend time alone without making it obvious.

Managing the consequences whenever those two inevitably create chaos.

Most importantly:

Maintaining a professional expression whenever someone asks inconvenient questions about why the Marquis of Wu'an is secretly working as a matrilocal husband.

This responsibility is, technically speaking, above his pay grade.

Xie Wu's greatest strength is adaptability.

Unfortunately, nothing in military training prepared him for Fan Changyu.

Imagine spending years mastering warfare, logistics, and command strategy only to discover your greatest challenge is writing an incident report that says:

Marchioness Fan administered knockout soup to the Marquis of Wu'an, stole his armour, impersonated a soldier, and personally joined the battle.

Without making the entire army sound completely insane. Even worse, all of it was true.

At some point, Xie Wu likely stared at the report for half an hour before deciding that future historians could deal with the problem.

His daily responsibilities also include preventing well-meaning idiots from exposing Xie Zheng's identity.

This is harder than it sounds. Half the army wants to help. The other half wants to congratulate Hou-ye on being married. Neither group understands the concept of secrecy.

As a result, Xie Wu spends most of his time intercepting conversations before they become disasters.

In another life, he would have made an excellent military commander.

In this one, he is effectively the Human Resources department for a family of emotionally compromised war heroes.

Every morning, Xie Wu wakes up hoping for an enemy ambush.

At least enemy ambushes follow logic.

Fan Changyu does not.

Xie Jiu — The Traumatised Actor

Professional Qualifications:

Counterintelligence.

Deep-cover operations.

High-risk infiltration.

Actual Job:

Community theatre.

During the military tribunal, Xie Zheng's identity must remain hidden from Changyu. Therefore the obvious solution is:

Put Xie Jiu in the Marquis's armour. Hide him behind a curtain. Give him a script. Tell him to pretend to be the most feared military commander in the empire. What could possibly go wrong?

Everything.

Absolutely everything.

The moment Changyu arrives, the script dies. Jin Yuanbao and the 'fan' club only make it worse. Then, Xie Zheng barges in. Changyu goes off-script. The fake Marquis is suddenly presiding over a domestic argument between a husband and wife who are both trying to volunteer themselves for punishment.

Xie Jiu spends the entire scene improvising like a man trying to defuse a bomb while being judged by Heaven. 

Xie Jiu is drafting his will and preparing to lose control of his bladder.

Frankly, surviving enemy assassins was probably easier.

Xie Qi — The Professional Third Wheel

Professional Qualifications:

Shadow operations.

Reconnaissance.

Message interception.

Actual Job:

Relationship support staff.

Because Xie Qi is competent, he is constantly assigned the most ridiculous errands.

Need a secret letter delivered?

Xie Qi.

Need somebody to check if the Marchioness is still angry?

Xie Qi.

Need emotional damage assessment after a marital disagreement?

Unfortunately. Also Xie Qi.

FULL VERSION HERE

The empire believed the Marquis of Wu'an was dead.

His fall had been necessary—an ending written in blood to quiet rebellion and steady a fractured throne. A hero buried, a name sealed into history.

But death, it seems, was only the beginning.

When he awakens, the man once feared on the battlefield remembers almost nothing. No court. No enemies. No past worth reclaiming.

Only a name that feels distant—and a life that no longer belongs to him.

Because waiting for him… is a woman who calls him husband. And in her arms—two children who bear his face.