he/him

guy who gets a pepsi from the break room vending machine every day after his work shift & amiably says “gotta have a pepsi!” while grinning & passing it back & forth between his hands but one day the pepsi is sold out & he leaves the building robotically with a completely flat expression & isn’t seen at work again

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

Waking up from a nap and still having a headache is so unfair. You were supposed to save me.

I have every word ever blocked. I could be mutuals with axe murderers and I wouldn't know because I have "#axe murdering" in my blocked tags. it's so peaceful here (hears a noise behind me) (doesn't turn around)

part of being an adult is figuring out what eveyone else's definition of "going crazy" is. to you it is not sleeping for 60 hours, writing 80k words in one sitting and expiriencing enough anxiety to kill a horse. to beth from accounting its buying a ticket to Columbus, Ohio. and to your friend its consuming so much ketamine you lose all of your posessions and wake up with five broken bones in a ditch somewhere and then proceeding to do it again the next day. to your other friend its writing a letter to their favourite actress about how much they appreciate her work. to your neighbour its laughing loudly in a grocery store whilst in pajamas. maya from uni hears the voice of her dead father making jokes with no punchlines and she considers that to be quite normal - to her going crazy would be hearing her husband instead. your downstairs neighbour will take night walks naked sometimes and claim there is nothing weird about him. there are literally no rules to life and all meaning is in the eye of the beholder.

were going back in time to the first thanksgiving to get turkey off the menu

THATS RIGHT ☝️

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek