here are more nyen thoughts of mine
I think in Some ways Not understanding or even Trying to understand Nyen is such a moral failing. Or liking his character but Not actually KNOWING the character you like. And I Know i've pointed this Out before but it peeves me because How do you just Not notice that Nyen is really sensitive and that he's much more complex than just being an aggressor which is an idea that is very completely contrived from people puppeting him around to fit their ideal version of him which is like 1,000th fucking edgelord that cuts people stereotype and I Really think it's dumb to do that because you can't even appreciate him fully that way and it's so one-dimensional. More So it upsets me because I actively go through a lot of the same issues/emotions he does and that also gets overlooked by people in my life I feel like, so to see it Also happen to a character that has aforementioned similar issues really sucks because I get it.
Anyway. Here are my other thoughts (aka episode 52 of the author's barely disguised self-projection). And this will be in tangent form per usual
I'm Going to Now talk more about his view on humanity in General
If I think about *My* experience with how I view other people it's kind of complex but I'm also a person who likes to separate himself from other people categorization-wise so I think forming a kind of analogy here might help explain how Nyen thinks better. It's not that I think I'm above people at all (because narcissism is retarded) I just don't think I like being associated with being human in the way I would Rather just be Peter and not be connected to anything other than my own being. Especially because a lot of people in my experience are generally predictable and I have a very good judge of character because I'm an observant person and tend to notice things in people even sometimes before they do, so it's one of those things that comes from being too tuned-in to the people around me but also pretty judgmental to the point I would rather be a being Outside of that group where I can just observe and not really be interacted with unless I choose to. I do really like people but I think my like for them comes more from the joy I get from analyzing them rather than feeling connected to actually being a person, and a lot of people are massive assholes and are way too judgmental so it's like I'm interested but also really deterred at the same time. People also bullshit way too much and focus on things that literally are not worth it and from My perspective I can Understand *why* they're like that but I can also recognize it's stupid.
Then as for people who I really care about that's also sort of complicated because that observation is also a way that I show love, and because it's something I can't really help doing I tend to really dig into people and will want to know as many things as possible and am very tuned-in, again, to how people I like are feeling, which is something I'm fairly sure is attributed to over-empathy (which is a root of a lot of my stomach issues lol). It also stresses me out if I feel like I can't be fully there for people I care for and am generally also pretty sensitive. (Kurt also had issues with being overly sensitive. Made me think of this. Unrelated. Anyway)
Back to Nyen, he kind of seems like he has this kind of thinking in some way where he's really separated himself from being human and is happier being more like Luther because Luther is human-LIKE but not really fully associated with being human which is kind of perfect because to some degree Nyen is aware he's human but also wants to be less Like a human.
This is also very much a personal experience of mine thing But this train of thinking originates (at least for me) from both being really observant and having a lot of bad experiences with keeping friendships -> overly tuned-in to people's emotions, get upset easily if feel ignored/like I'm becoming disliked or whatever, and preferring to be separate from other people because I prefer observing > interacting because I feel ignored a lot when I talk then get embarrassed. Ok i'm opening up too much. that's gay
But Anyway. These issues I mentioned probably feed heavily into how Nyen acts towards other people and interacts with them (which I talked about in a previous post). I will point them out more specifically:
Very attentive to how Luther is feeling (i.e. can pick up on it easily if he is stressed out, keeps Luther's stress on his mind very heavily and reminds himself to not do certain things to avoid making his mood worse, does things to help him feel better, Luther's emotions affect his, etc.)
Very adamant about being as helpful as possible (i.e. got flustered when Luther told him to go nap while they were setting up camp since he was clearly tired, but was very hesitant because he wanted to help. If you reference the panel he looks clearly stressed out, has stress-curls, red face, hand up in protest, and so on)
Shows affection in unconventional ways (i.e. messes with/teases people a lot (friendly), acts of service/more subtle displays like helping out where he can, doing things to earn favor, etc. Also want to point out he would be more affectionate if he felt like he could (for example in first rat arc lucid he wants to go nap with Luther but knows he can't, becomes really happy whenever Luther pets/praises him, etc.), but if he feels like he can't risk doing that he won't, and in Luther's case he wants to be really particular about how he acts so as not to make Luther dislike him since again, probably struggles keeping friends-> overly conscious about what he says/does which is also why he's so quiet. With Luther he also feels like he has to earn it.)
Very socially anxious and gets embarrassed easily (i.e. got really nervous when Luther caught him poking Sebastian. I also think he shuts up on purpose to avoid saying anything embarrassing which is also my method a lot of the time.)
Uses a lot of nonverbal cues like gestures and facial expressions (i.e. hit Luther with a thumbs up and raised eyebrows when he got nervous when Luther asked about the pancakes unexpectedly. This is also another method of avoiding verbal speech)
Has a lot of insecurities not really about himself but more so how other people react to him (i.e. feels ignored very easily and bases his self-worth and mood on how much attention he gets/if he feels liked or not)
Very sensitive in general (He's really quiet so for some reason I guess this is harder to notice But again, very aware of people's emotions, picks up on subtle cues a lot-> can lead to him feeling disliked, very passionate about Kurt Cobain, very sentimental person, etc.)