Peter

please ask me questions about nyen

i also know a lot about kurt cobain you can ask me about that too

i take art requests related to aforementioned topics

follow the kurtverse blog @kurtverse

follow me on twitter https://x.com/2secondsnokurt

follow my nyen/spam twitter: https://x.com/2secondsnokurdt

Anyways. All that bumbling aside, I love your headcannons, I love your interpretation of Nyen, I love your writing style (side note, I really like how you capitalize letters. I’ve noticed that in your writing and I like it a lot), and uhh yeah I am actually going to be eating all your writing like a 7 corse meal fit for a king. You are in my mind the king of Nyen. Take care of yourself pookie.

Thank you Anon this is So Kind I will carry this with me forever

I think there's definitely a parallel here, but I don't really view him as a biblical character and I feel like the "bible name" thing gets over-exaggerated when I think it's just another way of saying Nyen used to have a generic white dude name LOL

nyen is the kind of person who has to be in a relationship with someone who's very preoccupied in other thoughts because it's less rewarding otherwise. if he was with someone who gave him constant affection it wouldn't be an achievement to get attention so it would diminish his perceived "purpose" of being in the relationship in the first place.

in his mind he has to always go above and beyond to garner attention and appreciation from the other end (in this case luther) but it ends up working against him because luther after awhile just expects that he'll do that and doesn't think anything of it other than just nyen being nyen which only makes him try harder to get attention

to nyen the goal is to find a balance where he gets attention from luther most effectively but this is a slippery slope to scale because luther a lot of the time is very preoccupied with other things and his mind is all over the place and nyen's goal is basically to wedge in among those millions of thoughts; which in the end ends up hindering his ability to actually effectively get attention in a way that doesn't end up negatively affecting someone. to reiterate: nyen doesn't WANT to stress luther out more than he already is (and even does things frequently in attempt to alleviate his stress) but he ends up doing so unintentionally anyway because he ends up getting in his head about it too much and sets his mind too much onto getting attention to the point he accidentally overlooks how it affects luther. however i do think overtime he has to some degree gotten it down to a science, he still ends up sometimes seeking worry from luther as a means of validation or attention even if he knows it's not a good thing to do just to make himself feel better

when nyen Does seek out luther's worry to validate himself he does it in a weird sort of indirect way so he feels less guilty about it even though it's basically the same thing as directly doing worrisome things just because the intent is the same. for example, nyen got a very taxing construction job that made him very tired and drink and smoke a lot as a result just so luther would fuss over him and he kept on doing it regardless of the effects it had on him because luther's validation is what he was after in the first place. In other words, the consequence of the job is cancelled out by the reward of being "noticed" by luther in nyen's perspective.

nyen has also learned over time that he can't really just ask for affection and has to get it in other ways which i think is a reason why he's so indirect and quiet about everything he does especially regarding luther. i don't think he necessarily learned this behavior from luther, i personally think it's more so something he picked up from past relationships and it's carrying over into his current one, but it's there regardless. more specifically i believe this is rooted in him being himself (which is someone who is very insecure and bases his purpose and value on being "noticed"/perceived validation from people he holds in a high regard) and then this causing problems in his relationships for his whole life -> it evolves as he gets older and brings us to who he is today which is essentially the same thing but much more calculated

^ more on this, luther saying the rest of the family doesn't communicate with him well enough is very true and this connects to nyen's reason why he's shied away from communicating. With everyone other than luther he's extremely direct and blunt which tells me he maybe Used to be more direct with people he held in the same regard as luther, then it not going over as planned and causing issues in his relationships. I think this is what made him pick up the "he has to notice me on his own" behavior because he learned that if he's direct it's not as effective and makes the other person feel bad which deviates completely from what his goal is (which is to get attention and validation as effectively as possible to alleviate his insecurities)

luther and the catmen are all equally at fault for their lack of communication but it's interesting how this problem came to be in the first place because it very much stems from them all having misunderstandings as to what the others need. like with luther and nyen, luther doesn't realize nyen is after his attention to the degree he is nor does he realize nyen is expecting him to notice him "on his own" which is why he's so quiet and instead assumes that nyen does not like talking and tries to get talking with him over with as quickly as possible because he thinks nyen doesn't like it even though he does and wants that attention very badly

many nyens + pre-house nyen and nyon

I think in Some ways Not understanding or even Trying to understand Nyen is such a moral failing. Or liking his character but Not actually KNOWING the character you like. And I Know i've pointed this Out before but it peeves me because How do you just Not notice that Nyen is really sensitive and that he's much more complex than just being an aggressor which is an idea that is very completely contrived from people puppeting him around to fit their ideal version of him which is like 1,000th fucking edgelord that cuts people stereotype and I Really think it's dumb to do that because you can't even appreciate him fully that way and it's so one-dimensional. More So it upsets me because I actively go through a lot of the same issues/emotions he does and that also gets overlooked by people in my life I feel like, so to see it Also happen to a character that has aforementioned similar issues really sucks because I get it.

Anyway. Here are my other thoughts (aka episode 52 of the author's barely disguised self-projection). And this will be in tangent form per usual

I'm Going to Now talk more about his view on humanity in General

If I think about *My* experience with how I view other people it's kind of complex but I'm also a person who likes to separate himself from other people categorization-wise so I think forming a kind of analogy here might help explain how Nyen thinks better. It's not that I think I'm above people at all (because narcissism is retarded) I just don't think I like being associated with being human in the way I would Rather just be Peter and not be connected to anything other than my own being. Especially because a lot of people in my experience are generally predictable and I have a very good judge of character because I'm an observant person and tend to notice things in people even sometimes before they do, so it's one of those things that comes from being too tuned-in to the people around me but also pretty judgmental to the point I would rather be a being Outside of that group where I can just observe and not really be interacted with unless I choose to. I do really like people but I think my like for them comes more from the joy I get from analyzing them rather than feeling connected to actually being a person, and a lot of people are massive assholes and are way too judgmental so it's like I'm interested but also really deterred at the same time. People also bullshit way too much and focus on things that literally are not worth it and from My perspective I can Understand *why* they're like that but I can also recognize it's stupid.

Then as for people who I really care about that's also sort of complicated because that observation is also a way that I show love, and because it's something I can't really help doing I tend to really dig into people and will want to know as many things as possible and am very tuned-in, again, to how people I like are feeling, which is something I'm fairly sure is attributed to over-empathy (which is a root of a lot of my stomach issues lol). It also stresses me out if I feel like I can't be fully there for people I care for and am generally also pretty sensitive. (Kurt also had issues with being overly sensitive. Made me think of this. Unrelated. Anyway)

Back to Nyen, he kind of seems like he has this kind of thinking in some way where he's really separated himself from being human and is happier being more like Luther because Luther is human-LIKE but not really fully associated with being human which is kind of perfect because to some degree Nyen is aware he's human but also wants to be less Like a human.

This is also very much a personal experience of mine thing But this train of thinking originates (at least for me) from both being really observant and having a lot of bad experiences with keeping friendships -> overly tuned-in to people's emotions, get upset easily if feel ignored/like I'm becoming disliked or whatever, and preferring to be separate from other people because I prefer observing > interacting because I feel ignored a lot when I talk then get embarrassed. Ok i'm opening up too much. that's gay

But Anyway. These issues I mentioned probably feed heavily into how Nyen acts towards other people and interacts with them (which I talked about in a previous post). I will point them out more specifically:

Very attentive to how Luther is feeling (i.e. can pick up on it easily if he is stressed out, keeps Luther's stress on his mind very heavily and reminds himself to not do certain things to avoid making his mood worse, does things to help him feel better, Luther's emotions affect his, etc.)

Very adamant about being as helpful as possible (i.e. got flustered when Luther told him to go nap while they were setting up camp since he was clearly tired, but was very hesitant because he wanted to help. If you reference the panel he looks clearly stressed out, has stress-curls, red face, hand up in protest, and so on)

Shows affection in unconventional ways (i.e. messes with/teases people a lot (friendly), acts of service/more subtle displays like helping out where he can, doing things to earn favor, etc. Also want to point out he would be more affectionate if he felt like he could (for example in first rat arc lucid he wants to go nap with Luther but knows he can't, becomes really happy whenever Luther pets/praises him, etc.), but if he feels like he can't risk doing that he won't, and in Luther's case he wants to be really particular about how he acts so as not to make Luther dislike him since again, probably struggles keeping friends-> overly conscious about what he says/does which is also why he's so quiet. With Luther he also feels like he has to earn it.)

Very socially anxious and gets embarrassed easily (i.e. got really nervous when Luther caught him poking Sebastian. I also think he shuts up on purpose to avoid saying anything embarrassing which is also my method a lot of the time.)

Uses a lot of nonverbal cues like gestures and facial expressions (i.e. hit Luther with a thumbs up and raised eyebrows when he got nervous when Luther asked about the pancakes unexpectedly. This is also another method of avoiding verbal speech)

Has a lot of insecurities not really about himself but more so how other people react to him (i.e. feels ignored very easily and bases his self-worth and mood on how much attention he gets/if he feels liked or not)

Very sensitive in general (He's really quiet so for some reason I guess this is harder to notice But again, very aware of people's emotions, picks up on subtle cues a lot-> can lead to him feeling disliked, very passionate about Kurt Cobain, very sentimental person, etc.)