DON'T BE NICE

of course i don’t wish you were dead at all, and i know it so i’m almost smiling. sometimes i wish i could see my face so i knew when i looked serious or not, but i think that now i haven’t done for a little while. “you weren’t listening to me. i can always tell.” honestly, i don’t think you can recall a single fact about anything i’ve ever said. i might as well not talk, but all the same, i might as well.

are you trying to remind me that i’m adopted? aiden. i thought you could do better. i don’t want you to try, but i thought digs like these were supposed to bring up some new information. do you think i didn’t know? “i wish you were dead. then my biological father could tell you what an idiot you were being to his son, who was just trying to talk about animals.” i think i wish you’d say something that would hurt me, because while these sting, they’re like band-aids. if you revealed a wound to me, maybe i’d have something else to focus on than just whiny old you. 

“you still think about him, though.” i make a good point, and quickly too. i think casper would be proud. your comment stung a little, aiden, because you’re kind of like my brother and you’re being mean to me for no reason, so it hurts, but you’re also not my brother. you don’t really know me at all if you think i could get upset over something like that. no one thinks of me? tell me something i don’t know. “i wish rosie had moved back in instead of you.” i’m not trying to be mean, but i know it isn’t nice. but at least i know i’m being nasty. i don’t think you’re aware of it anymore. i hope i’m never like that. “but i guess she knows how to look after herself.”