boring personal tidbit/rambling: When I was a kid I usedΒ compulsiveΒ behaviors to control my extreme anxiety. I was also raised Southern Pentecostal which focuses a lot on Old Testament scripture. We were told about what angels really looked like in Sunday School when I was 6 or so. The bible mentions multiple faces, being covered in eyeballs, constant singing, lion heads, etc. This spawned an extreme fear of angels and they became the butt of my anxieties (βIf I open and close this door 10 times I wonβt see an angelβ). I use to pray to never see an angel, and I had recurring nightmares that my sister locked me in a room with cement angel statues that came to life and approached me while screaming. Then they would skin me and sacrifice me.
If you think about it, angels are kind of horrifying. Besides being described as beasts and monsters, theyβre practically brainless drones. Heavenly angels are only one step removed from demons. The only difference is demons fell from heaven because they chose to follow Luciferβ¦ who was an angel (angel of music and one of godβs favorites). So they are these eyeball covered animal mashed up monsters who were only created to worship for eternity (part of humanities creation was so that something would choose to love god, not just worship him because they were created to). Angels fall into a lot of new age and conspiracy beliefs too which my churchΒ believedΒ and taught. We were taught that the supernatural realms went in the order of Heaven, Hell, then Earth. So when the angels fell from heaven with Lucifer, some fell through hell and landed on Earth. We were taught they intermarried with early humans and created giants (Goliathβs origins) and taught witch craft to women (make-up, sluttiness, etc.) Imagine learning all of that nonsense as a 5 year old kid.
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