DAYDREAM

Father never goes to the cemetery to visit Taiyu — not that she knows, at least —and, truthfully, she doesn’t go often herself. Like it or not, she takes after the tough businessman and the two of them don’t like feeling anything less than powerful and reminding that their empire means nothing compared to the will of God and life is fragile don’t help. Qian loved him deeply, still does, so she makes an effort to stop by from time to time and make sure the grave is still clean and colorful, that his portrait isn’t full of dust. Today is a special day: his birthday. Taiyu would turn 30 this year. Although she drives with a smile on her face during her lunch time, a small break from the hospital, her heart aches and there is nothing she can do to fix it — not even as a skilled cardio.

She has flowers in one hand and a bottle of liquor in the other. One is for him, the other for her. As someone who works hard to save lives and keep people alive, cemeteries show her that she’s no God, that all those names were there because her colleagues of profession failed. It’s a bitter place, chills run down her spine, but she misses her gege and as his own blood, she has to do it and be with him for an hour. It catches her attention how he probably would roll his eyes and shake his head knowing how much like father she was now, how she spent more time locked in the hospital than partying hard; if he could say it. As she slowly walks towards his grave, she spots a woman there, but she can’t see the face. However, the canvas she is placing by his grave reveals it. 

Park Yeeun. Does she come here too? Qian almost couldn’t believe her eyes. Since she cut the other off years ago, back in high school, she never once wondered how Yeeun felt about her brother, so it’s a bit surprising to see her giving him something he loved: art. The heiress had no intentions to hurt her old friend, especially when she knew the girl was suffering too, but how could she stay around when Qian felt like she caused it? She was too close to break down and people like her only made her remember of her brother, which was too painful, and she couldn’t let it show, couldn’t keep going like this.

“You knew it was his birthday?” she asked in a flat tone as she approached the other. “I’m surprised to see you here, Yeeun-ssi.” 

it would have been naive of her to not expect to see someone on this day. whether it had been a family member or a friend of his, yeeun should have expected someone because it was taiyu’s birthday and it isn’t a day that is easily forgotten by those who knew him or knew of him. he was that type of person to yeeun. he somehow gave a strong impression to those who met him, no matter if it had been for one moment of their day or their whole life. what she didn’t expect was to see qian, his sister- her friend standing in the same space after so long. she had long blurred herself away from yeeun’s life and seeing her was finally painting the picture of all three of them together in her memory again, but it felt off this time. other than yeeun aging, now qian’s face aged as well. it was only taiyu who froze in time and the hurt was becoming apparent once again.

she wanted to say her name as if it had been a while since they have seen each other, but yeeun couldn’t lie to herself. she had never been a good liar and both of them knew it hadn’t been “a while.” there was no way the other’s name would come out casually from her mouth. it took effort to speak the other’s name as if it was an instrument unused for many years and she approaches it cautiously, weary if she still knows how to play it or not. instead she swallows her name, hopefully to be used in a better moment and simply looks at her and shrugs slightly. “i was late last time to give him a present.” she motions over to the painting resting besides his grave. “i didn’t want to miss out this time.”

There are mistakes he could never extract a life-long lesson from, even if he had the sincerest will to do so. Downing liquor with no regards for his limits nor his liver is one of those things Jiyong can’t voluntarily let go of, and he still dares to sonorously laugh it off and forcefully squeeze the blatant problem into the box of harmless bad habits. He found something alleviating in recklessly drinking himself into the state of meager consciousness, but every single morning, when the intoxication vanishes and the too familiar bursting headache heightens at a drastic pace, he then questions himself whether any of this was so worth it. And today it’s the same old story. What he considers as the only advantage is the fact he has woken up in his bed, with nobody sleeping beside him.

He languidly picks his lumbering self up and sits on the mattress’ edge, and as his spiritless stare bores into the wall in ahead of him, Jiyong tries to recall the events from the previous night, yet the dark void is all his mind is filled with, except for incoherent images that still give him no concrete idea. Whatever. Exhaling a drowsy sigh, at least he doesn’t fail to remember he has a quiet place to go to. The thought of Magok works like a brisk energy shot which motivates him to eventually raise to his feet and endevour to make himself look less wretched, but Yeeun will be able to discern his poorly disguised issue.

The bookstore became his unrivalled hiding spot, a secluded universe where noise is nonexistent and therefore soothes the irksome buzz of yesterday’s debatable choices. Passing the doorway, his fatigued gaze immediately searches for the female, who he’s ready to name his much needed saviour the moment she begins preparing his regular order. It writhes his mouth tenderly he toddles sluggishly to the nearest table, quickly plopping into the chair.

Once he catches Yeeun’s voice, his glance darts at her and a low snort goes past his lips. “Who said I like it?” Jiyong mutters raspily, pulling his brows together when the throbbing headache makes its presence more prominent. He runs fingers through his ruffled hair, fighting the urge to let out the inward groan he’s holding in. “Concerned…” Repeating under his breath with a tint of wry amusement, the following statement rolling off the other’s tongue elicits a rough chuckle from him. “I can always count on your honesty,” he says a tad lightheartedly because deep down he’s aware his overly shabby appearance must be a worrying sight, especially since it’s not the first time the woman witnesses Jiyong at not his very best. “Enough about me, how are you doing? I hope your day started better than mine.” Wrapping his hands around the coffee cup, he offers a lazy smile.

yeeun’s never been the type to party or drink. she had never been curious enough to try it and she felt better off at home with a good book. it’s a very typical routine for a character like her, but she’s loved to be the person that she is. she doesn’t judge those who do enjoy the party life, however. she understood it was fun for them, but it was always the aftermath that confused her. yeeun has had her drinking moments, but she refused to drink to the point she forgets how to walk or talk- you know, the functions typically people are able to do. 

“i, for one, enjoy waking up headache free,” she pokes the situation a bit more, leaning forward with her arms crossed. “so it did and i am doing great because of that, thanks for asking.” a corner of her lips pulls up and stifles a giggle before feeling slightly bad for picking on him first thing in the morning. but it’s really his fault.

Octavia wasn’t clueless of her own feelings, at least not anymore. She had her time to figure out what all those fluttering and strange bumps of her heart meant and why those only seemed to appear when she was next to Yeeun. It sounded so cliché. The girl who starts to develop feelings for her friend, the only point of difference being that her affection is towards another female. She didn’t regreat those, even though she knew how complicated this whole story could be and there was always the possibility of making their relation weird. There’s always the option of hiding those feelings and let them just naturally melt away — but that usually took a long time to happen, especially when one sees the said person in an everyday basis.

She’s not a subtle person. She’s straightforward and she speaks her mind most of the time, but for Yeeun’s sake (or that’s what she tells herself because she doesn’t want to admit she’s scared of the rejection) she tries, as much as she can, to hide it. It doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t steal a glance or two at Yeeun. How her hair usually falls in front of her eyes when she’s reading something, or the way she smiles, or how good her perfume is and how Octavia can feel the scent whenever they sit close to each other.

When she arrives in class that morning, with a cup of Frappuccino in one hand and the books she’ll need for that day in the other, she quickly spots the lonely figure already sat by their usual place. She smiles warmly and walks towards her. Octavia makes herself comfortable beside Yeeun, placing her belonging on top of the table as she sits with her legs crossed. “Good morning,” she responds. She fails to stop herself from rolling her eyes fondly at the dramatic remark, “unnie, you shouldn’t be this cute so early in the morning and not as dramatic either.” The next words makes her breath hitch but she tries not to read too much into it, instead she bites her bottom lip, a nervous act she developed over the years, “you know I’ll always show up for you.” Octavia put her legs down and sat straight this time, but she didn’t look away from her friend. Yeeun was always so enthusiastic with her books and stories, it was actually adorable, “You’re into poetry now then, it fits your image actually,” she said, “mark your favorites before lending it to me, I’ll read them thoughtfully,” she replied honestly. Octavia muffled a yawn and groaned, “I had no choice but study last night, attending writing and English classes were only good so I could meet you to be honest,” she leaned in the back of her chair and let her head fall, eyes closed. She was being too honest. Too dangerous.

she smiles at the other’s words and said nothing more for there was a lump in her throat preventing her to say anything more that may embarrass her or blow her cover. yeeun has never known what to do with her sexuality after her first kiss with another woman. it was quick and tasted like liquor, but she somehow wanted to try it once more.

it’s a curiosity that bloomed over the years to only have become a fact about herself. still, she is scared of venturing towards being with someone of the same sex. no one has ever made her want to cross the line unlike octavia has. as she smiles, her gaze follows the movement of her lips, watching them disappear as she bites down. she could feel herself wanting to lean closer, but her mind keeps her glued in her position until quickly directing her eyes towards the books on the table. 

“well...” she leans forward, letting her elbow rest on the table to hold up her head as she directs her attention to the other. “i can’t say that that doesn’t make me happy to know, but i still can’t believe you are bothered by these classes.” from their many conversations, this is the one yeeun couldn’t let go. “i mean, this class is just reading books and talking about them. the other class is just writing about anything. it’s great.” she shrugs as if it wasn’t a big deal and as if everyone enjoys these things as abnormal as she.

Walking around without a destiny in mind became more and more frequent in his life, especially during the night where he couldn’t sleep and staying inside the hotel felt too much. Breathing pure air, tiring his body, observing his surroundings, all of these were nice distractions to erase his worries for good. Most people run to bars, clubs or other loud alternatives, where distractions were easier and probably more effective, but Seokjin couldn’t picture himself in these chaotic enviroments. He enjoyed one glass of wine while listening to some relaxing song or a warm cup of latte instead, yet he didn’t know a place in Seoul that could offer these since he left the city when he was just a teenager who only enjoyed arcades, pc rooms and karaokes.

He almost passed by it without noticing. It took him to make an u-turn to see the open sign. It surprised him to find what seemed to be a small bookstore open at this hour. He checked the hour on the watch on his wrist. Almost midnight. The lights were still on and he could spot a female inside, so he decided to give it a chance. Quietly, he opened the door and peeked through the small space. Although it was empty, it looked open, so he walked in to ask the woman, because if he could stay, this felt like the right place to cure his insomnia at. 

“Uh- Hello! Excuse me,” he said with a low tone, almost inaudible, afraid to startle or bug the female. Different than what he first thought, the bookstore wasn’t so small, actually it was the opposite of it. How nice would be finding some interesting book to read and drink a hot cocoa in silence for a few hours? It sounded a lot like the perfect scenario for him. “I’m sorry to bother, Miss, but Is it still open? The sign says so, but it’s late…” he was stuttering once again, making excuses when he probably didn’t need to.

there is a drastic difference between morning and night. light and darkness. the cheerful hustle-and-bustle and the somber atmospheric night. there aren’t a set of rules to who one gets to be during the morning and night, it is simply more common to shine in front of others and later show ones true emotions in the dark. because of it, yeeun rests until its dark. when everyone is ready for bed, yeeun washes up and opens her store for a few more hours for those who find it difficult to be at home. she wants to meet those night-walkers. those sides of the people rarely anyone gets to see. those with stories and those with nothing to say. the people who have too much on their mind and just want some place to lay their thoughts to rest. or even to those who simply just feel like staying up with a good book. no one is ever not welcomed because to yeeun, people are fascinating.

the nights are the most calm when there aren’t drunk businessmen walking past her store. sometimes someone drops by and sometimes she’s all alone until morning- she doesn’t mind though. even as someone who enjoys being with others, there is nothing beats having some alone time after being with people for so long. she has a chance to de-stress by cleaning up her decor, arranging a few misplaced books and picking out books to place in the free books section for when it’s time to change it.