#247qian

@247qian // 2018 . song tai yu’s grave . cemetery .  12:00 pm

she paints what she feels. every color, every stroke, every precise movement of the brush contains specs of her emotions displayed out on canvas. and right now she thinks of him and her lips curve up while her tears flow down. and she paints with his favorite colors. colors that do not necessarily fit together, but somehow, when it came to him, it always works. because who he was wasn’t simple. he wasn’t someone that was able to be categorized because he was simply himself. he’s shown yeeun a side of him she’s learned to love, but she knew there was more to him than the colors on this canvas. but now there isn’t a way to find out. not anymore.

after the news of the car accident in back in high school, yeeun found it hard to breathe. she couldn’t move other than her legs failing beneath her, dropping her down into a pit of sadness. she had forgotten how many times she called his number and then to qian’s just to understand if this was all true, and the moment she received a letter, she knew it was true. yeeun didn’t think she could go and say goodbye. it shouldn’t have been a goodbye because he was too young, too precious to so many people to just leave this world like that. then she thought of qian and she was the only strength that made her go.

his life, their friendship was short-lived after that. the other had avoided her that day and the days after that. yeeun called, messaged, did whatever she could to speak to qian, to show her that she is there for her, that she didn’t have to go through it alone. but there was no response. no contact after that. and years after that, yeeun still remembers.

( — @247qian )

Particularly during family gatherings his choice of words isn’t benign nor circumspect. When he was younger he would spitefully let inappropriate and uncalled-for comments flow out of his mouth seemingly accidentally, but he was fully aware of the way he was speaking. And this habit stuck to him until today, mainly because his hatred towards the other Kwons still hasn’t died down. He never expected his harsh bluntness to send any of the relatives to the hospital, though. Yet here he is, standing with arms folded in front of his chest and blatant indifference painting his face while the few of his disquieted cousins watch him like vultures. Jiyong finds that almost funny, but then again, what isn’t farcical to him when it comes to his family?

He had little clue what exactly happened to his uncle as he continued to verbally attack the elder’s pride and delusional beliefs. Maybe he just collapsed and he’s finally regained his consciousness by now, maybe it’s a cardiac arrest and the doctors running back and forth are currently fighting for his life. Whatever it is, Jiyong hardly cares and his callousness must be showing too much. His fatigued eyes encounter Taewon’s, his uncle’s oldest son who ended up being an equally prestige-greedy lawyer. The male always had a special place in young CEO’s black books and judging from his enraged scowl he quickly assumes the feeling’s mutual.

@247qian

Two bodies who just met each other swayed against the beat, touching each other like there is no tomorrow. One was whispering sweet little nothings on her ear while the other just flip her hair and laugh at every word he says. They were a spectacle, a common one, but a show nonetheless.

Hana was still gathering her bearings and what better way to familiarize herself than experiencing the nightlife of the city? She might have mentioned this to the man she is now with for they are about to play a little game. A little welcome gift, he slurred. Beer and soju bottles are served on their table along with a shot glass. He also requested for another two tall glasses and the waiter immediately understood what he was talking about for he returned with his orders with a smirk on his face. He introduced the tipsy girl to soju bomb and then explained the mechanics as simply as he can, fighting with the deafening bass on the speakers.

She soon became giggly, an evidence that the alcohol has finally consumed her. Hana had a brief stint of partying nonstop during her days at a foreign land, but soon put it in regulation when the vices are affecting her grades. As she downed the glass of mixed soju and beer, she nudged her companion. However, he did not respond. His head rolled back on the couch, unconscious and unresponsive.

“Ah, what a loser,” she said in disappointment. Hana grabbed her coat and purse, not bothering to leave her share for their drinks. The loser has to pay for all of them anyways. She cannot believe that she has to go back to her apartment alone after all of the ruckus, but then again, she doesn’t want to take care of some drunk stranger at the first week of her return in Seoul.

As she pushed the doors of the bar open and let herself out, Hana immediately took off her shoes that had been torturing her feet all night long. The temperature is dipping on the negatives, but when you are very drunk, you won’t be able to feel anything. Your face, your hands and even the ice biting against your bare feet as you walk, you are completely numb.

She idly wondered if the night could have been different if she approached the man crooning by the bar instead. Hana remembered the woman sitting a few chairs down him and she thought she was familiar. Her name was just on the tip of her tongue, but then again light strobes that danced along the DJ’s beats must have played tricks on her mind.

A cab is approaching her way and she flailed her hand wildly to flag it down, but the vehicle slowed down at first and then zoomed past her. In return, Hana flipped off the departing driver before slumping down on the icy ground. The click of heels on the pavement perked her attention and she turned her head towards the sound.

THIS IS JUST IN: @247qian

Finding out about the proclivity for drugs many of you have stopped to come as a surprise, though this particular discovery almost left me open-mouthed. The Empress made her marble good, I’ll give her that. She managed to be somewhat relevant. Otherwise I wouldn’t have gifted her with that very alias. All sentiments aside, now I get on to the revelations. Even the events taking place on another continent can’t be hidden from me. Before our frigid ice princess set her foot in Seoul, she was living it up in the United States where she got into shady company. Her teenage rebellion featured a two-month-long rehab because she was hooked on drugs. No wonder she works at a hospital nowadays — how advantageous it is for the patients, though? 

- xoxo

( 4 comments )

MOODBOARD — SONG QIAN & KWON JIYONG

  ❛ my black eye casts no shadow,       your red eye sees no blame; a kiss with a fist is better than none. ❜

2 years ago ✦ @247qian 

the more she tried to forget about the tragedy, the stronger her memory became when it came to this particular incident. how could she ever forget it? sumin might always be reminded of it, and she was fucking sure the guilt would haunt her until the rest of her life. she knew it was all her fault, even if her father tried to convince her otherwise. “about the news, i’ve already taken care of it, so don’t worry. they won’t mention anything about you.” sumin could care less about the family’s reputation, but she absolutely didn’t need to see her friend (who was already dead by the time she woke up) took the blame when everything was clearly her fault. they were too happy, and happiness wasn’t meant to last long. sumin should have seen it coming. maybe if she didn’t bug eunbi to come with her that night, she could still be able to see her today. 

it was only her first week back in seoul, but she had already been admitted to the hospital due to sleep deprivation. coming back to this place seemed like a bad idea, but it wasn’t like sumin wanted to stay forever in australia either. everything looked way too familiar here, it made her feel hard to breathe every time she looked at the streets. maybe it was time for her to get over it, but she just couldn’t, not when the guilt was still eating her from inside. the city looked very beautiful at night, it would be a waste if she couldn’t enjoy it anymore. and so she tried, hoping that for once in her life that night, she would be able to admire the night again. everything was fine, until she saw a figure on the other side of the road. wait, wasn’t that eunbi?