The Side Door

i should get a special treat whenever i successfully “i have food at home” myself. a treat like a special snack i do not have at home.

i hope i am not just an insane person to you guys but also a weirdo and a bitch

I don't dress like a "boy" or a "girl", I dress like you should not ask me to lift any heavy items

president of the united states (derogatory)

i wish this was me

we joke about tumblr’s pjge (post john green era) but it is legitimately wild that a) a social media site allowed others to edit your posts for five years, and b) that we all agreed to use the honor system about it until mr. green arrived

everytime someone goes to get food for the whole house they always forget to get food for me like i am quite literally invisible

i just want it to be known that this post has made 0$ so far

Woke up at 3 am delirious and extremely thirsty but my water glass was empty so I was like “I know exactly how to fix this” So I googled “big water” and in my half asleep state I was certain that would allow me to manifest a large glass of water in reality. Didn’t work but now I know there’s a town in Utah called Big Water.