life is so much simpler when you stop explaining yourself to people and just do what works for you

Am I cute? No. But do I have a nice personality? Also no

If you’re ever somewhere past closing time and an employee says “it’s no problem take your time :)” they’re lying through their fucking teeth it is 100% a Problem and you need to go

this needs to be on everyone’s dash…

Michelle was actually Baracks political advisor that’s how they met, I personally believe she should’ve been president herself

Michelle Obama 2020

MICHELLE OBAMA 2020

update: still not anyone’s first priority

cool girls are everywhere but its such a challenge to find one guy thats like mildly interesting to talk to……. it’s like they all have the personality of an actual adidas sandal

Maybe you’re a bitch

i mean i definitely am but youre still boring

im so sensitive i wasn’t made for earth

I may legally be an adult but don’t be fooled, I have no idea what the hell im doing

Imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 a minute

we need to stop being so desperate about finding aliens. we need to play hard to get, pretend like we couldn’t care less. watch them come rushing into our atmosphere