Torch

One of my favorite memories with A is of when we put out a small fire in his apartment building. The neighbor across the hallway knocked on his door, he opened and before I could figure out what was going on, A was already in crisis mode asking me to fill a bucket with water and running outside to see what was up. Afterwards he thanked me for getting straight to it without questioning him or needing to know anything beyond the seriousness in his tone. We really were a great team most of the time. Over time I've realized this feeling of seamless teamwork is one of the things I enjoy the most in my relationships with people. Like getting together to parch up the last pieces of Jos' performance that the lousy club management had messed up, or assembling furniture with my dad. It's specially moving with him, cos his hobby of arguing about politics annoys me and we can't communicate emotionally for shit, so we're limited in ways to connect with each other. But when it comes to doing stuff together, be it cooking, fixing stuff.. we're so smooth. I don't think I ever feel like my dad respects me the way I do in those moments. Those might also be the times I see the qualities I respect most in him, like his utter regard for people's agency and his ability to trust people like it’s a given.

My client yesterday walked me from the station (even though I asked him not to) and on the way we hear this weird constant screech so I’m going like wtf is that?? to which he responds “I bet it’s a foreigner”. Two steps forward and I see this blond Swedish woman on the floor still screaming with a bunch of cops on top of her. It was a better comeback than anything I could have ever said. So of course he was annoying af to the point I had to restrain myself not to punch him several times. Ended up pushing him away when I was leaving and he’s still texting me he wanna meet again.

People from my past I love keep reaching out and I’m so fucking lucky but I just see it, get happy in the moment and remember them then forget to answer

I’ve been in a cave the last 8 months but every time I go out I remember how much I love this town cos I keep stumbling upon people I love at the regular random spots

Realising I love sharing cos I want to feel like I matter, and the only way I know to is by giving

One of my favorite things of Swedish culture is that starting all sorts of written communication, from texts to formal mails, with “Hej (name),” is the norm. I loovvvvve it. I don’t have to crack my head open figuring out what way of greeting is appropriate

i fucking hate soft queers what do you mean you felt unsafe because of my tone

Read on a spell casting book about the importance of keeping detailed written record of the process and now I’ve gone full crazy scientist scaling everything and taking notes of all my concoctions