Fairytales

The first time I shaved my pubes I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. It is possible that I had watched too much porn, I had the unrealistic expectations they talk about and was too naive to know it. I was just a sixteen year old girl that wanted someone to think that she was sexy. However, I soon came to realise that bending backwards over the bathtub with a razor in one hand and frustration in the other is about the least sexy thing you could do. But it was worth it for the smooth feeling in between my thighs because in my eyes, you couldn’t be pretty if you had pubic hair.

I remember the first time a boy took off my panties. I made him dim every light in the room because I didn’t want to be seen down there. I had a nightmare in my knickers and the thing that got me the most wet was the saturation from my own self consciousness. I was scared because my vagina did not look like the ones I had seen on screens, my vagina was not worthy of somebody else’s stare.

The next day I locked myself in the bathroom and started to hack away at a part of myself. I let each hair drop to the floor like a mother saying to its child I don’t want you anymore. And as I let my bush - my jungle - grow smaller like fucking deforestation I said no. I looked in the mirror and I thought: What the fuck does it matter? As if I can’t get laid just because I have a few damn pubes. And anyway, my body was not designed to be pleasant on the eye, my body is a war zone of burn marks and bruises, my body is a battlefield and I fight wars here. My body is a compilation of art installations so please view me with critical appreciation.

And if I want to give myself a landing strip, I will give myself a god damn landing strip but that doesn’t make it a place for you to make a touchdown. My vagina is not your goal it is your privilege and if you have earned that privilege you probably don’t care what it looks like. But if you do - If you want to fuck a girl with a bald pussy go fuck a girl with a bald pussy but I am not that girl I am a woman - and I have gardens growing out of me.

So the next time you take off my panties and see my pubes you see more than just pubes. You see growth. You see fertility. You see indestruction, you see regeneration, you see everything that I am willing to show you.