I Love PAWG's 💦🍆

This weekend’s training session, best class I’ve ever attended! 

As I have mentioned before, I am undergoing submissive training and being mentored by a lovely gentleman. Before I go any farther, let me say I am very lucky and grateful to the random gods of Tinder for helping me find him. As I reflect on this weekend, I am first grateful for his leadership and support in helping me find who I am. 

Now, on to the juicy details. This weekend was amazing! It encompassed a wide range of emotional, physical, and intellectual moments. The ligature marks above were caused by play producing the most amazing orgasm I have ever had. I also received over due and well deserved punishments from his new bamboo cane/crop (more on that later!). I showed off the results of my training and got solid support and criticism for my short comings. And I finally got to a chance to offer all my holes for service. 

Unfortunately, this resulted in disappointing results. I have thoroughly enjoyed my anal training and am looking forward to continuing it. I felt confident that I was going to get to have and really enjoy having anal sex. This was not the case. There were a few factors I believe which contributed to this, but regardless. I was not ready. I was DISAPPOINTED. I felt like I let him down, I felt like I let myself down, and I felt like I was not good enough. It was a hard pill to swallow, like a break in the glass mirror you see yourself in. I had to hold back tears. In all the rush of emotions and hormones, I needed time to process what the experience did to me (More on this this later, but confession, its still kinda emotional as I think about it now.)

What Sir is teaching me about, helping me find, and offering a great deal of wisdom on is what I want and need. I learned this weekend how much I want and need a power exchange relationship. That I crave discipline.  That I want rules and protocol.  That I can feel the pleasure in pain. That being a submissive is as a part of me as my green eyes and that finding a partner I can submit to is essential for my personal, mental, spiritual, emotional and yes physical well being. But it also reminded me how very important the man behind the master is. That I want a relationship that stimulates my mind as well as my body. Sir’s advice, once you know what you want and need, you have to do what you have to do to get it.