A Fuck Ton Of Fanfics

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I Will Take Requests To Write For:

WWE:😈🖤

Rhea Ripley x Reader (💜)

Dominik Mysterio x Reader (🖤)

Liv Morgan x Reader

Jackass: ❤️‍🩹🤯

Johnny Knoxville x Reader (❤️‍🩹)

Bam Margera x Reader (☯️)

Chris Pontius x Reader

Criminal Minds: 💀💘

Spencer Ried/MGG x Reader

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

JJ Jareau x Reader

Emily Prentiss x Reader

House MD: 💙🩻

Greg House x Reader (💙)

Allison Cameron x Reader

James Wilson x Reader

Others: 💓✨

Corey Taylor (of Slipknot) x Reader

❤️‍🔥💀Simon on “Ghost” Riley (MW COD) x Reader

(Fluff, smut, anything in between)

✨Series✨

“Caught Between” master list (💜🖤)

“I Don’t Wanna Lose You” master list (❤️‍🩹)

“On The Rocks” master list (💜)

💀MASTERLIST❤️‍🩹

❤️‍🩹Chapter One: “Payback”

❤️‍🩹Chapter Two:

Chapter One: “Payback”

(Accompanied by @herwwegirl )

Your boots repeatedly pounded the dirt as they had for the past two hours, the dog tags hanging from your neck reading “Sgt. Y/n ‘Cash’ Brie”. You found yourself somewhere else mentally. There were two reasons for this; some fucker almost took your head off back at the last compound, and how Ghost swooped in to save your ass. You found yourself thinking about the ladder more.

Taking a swig from your canteen, you took a deep breath. Thanks to the little stunt you pulled back there you were at the back of the pack, the LT. Up front leading as he always did. It was a small group put on what was supposed to be an easy spying mission, so you could still hear his normal frustrated huffs and sighs.

You were in for it when you got back to camp; that much was certain, but you couldn’t even begin to focus on the idea. Your mind was trapped within itself as you played back every single action that had led to you pinned beneath Ghost’s frame, the weight of his posture adding to the breathlessness within your lungs as he held you. Protected you. What had changed in those passing moments that had left you thinking about your superior in such ways that currently clouded the forefront of your mind, and why did you like the way it made you feel?

“Cash.”

The muted call of your fellow squad mate pulled your attention back to reality, your doe-like gaze widening slightly as you realized you were falling behind. You didn’t need another thing to add to your list of punishments, so with a few quick steps, you pulled yourself back in line and tried to put all the focus you had left on your pace.

Ghost peered over his shoulder in what one would think is annoyance; it was quite the opposite. For once, it was amusement. He was smart, but it didn’t take a smart man to know what was going on in your head right now after your ordeal at the compound.

You hadn't even tried to explain yourself afterwards, you were so flustered. The thought of you being flustered enough to shut up for once made him giggle. You could call him cocky, aure, but you had almost had your head blown off before and got up with a smart ass remark. The only thing different this time is the fact that he had saved your ass.

He replayed the moment for himself in his head as the group walked. He just had a bad feeling, as right before you hear the whistle of the bullet fly by he follows his instinct and tackles you to the ground from behind. After the fire had passed he found himself still on top of you, his lower abdomen to your back as he shielded you. At the moment the only thing that rushed through him was adrenaline, which verbally came out as anger, but physically; let’s just say he wouldn’t be surprised if you felt it. He remembers angrily telling you to follow orders next time in your ear before standing up, telling the crew to move on and not giving you a second look since.

You knew that you shouldn’t be staring, but as Ghost’s neck craned and your innocent gaze met with that of his sapphire hues masked by darkness, you couldn’t help but swallow back nervously. You weren’t looking at him, it was an accident and as much as you wanted to immediately apologize for stepping out of line by showing him any attention, you chose otherwise and simply lowered your gaze back down to your dirty boots as they trudged along the patchy grass beneath you.

‘Get it together’ your subconscious screamed at you as the heavy foot falls of combat boots against rocky grass flooded your eardrums. You were too far out from dorms and if you could make it there without getting in any more trouble, maybe the punishments that awaited you wouldn’t be too bad.

Exhaling a very shallow exhale so as to not come across as out of breath, you chugged back another huge mouthful of water and let your lids close for only a second. You didn’t want to risk tripping, but you needed a second to think. Your eyes blocking any and all distractions. How could you ignore him? He’s your superior, he’s your superior’s superior and yet for one split second you’d made a mistake you could no longer revert. He’d told you to stay and you disobeyed. But right now the only thing you could think of is orders you wanted him to give you. Ones you’d definitely follow with utmost haste. Ones that included taking your clothes off.

Of course nobody could see it past the mask and baklava, but a smirk had sat on Ghost's face for the past few hours. The walking was the only thing keeping him straight at the moment, counting the rhythm of his steps to try and keep his mind off the feeling of his hard on pressed up against your ass. He had decided he wasn’t going to give you any shit back at camp; you were obviously going to beat yourself up enough with this, and part of that got him off. The other part of him hoped you had learned something and would follow orders next time.

It was about another half hour until you had finally reached camp and everybody dispersed. Ghost took note of how you quickly scrambled to your room, closing the door and locking it. The whole squad stayed in the same dorm with communal showers, so everybody pretty much knew about everything going on, and it wasn’t hard to spy or get information. It also helped that he was their superior and when he asked questions they answered. He hated to admit this but he knew your schedule; you always came back and got a shower first, while the boys all ate the camp out of house and home. He watched your door silently from the kitchen with the rest of the squad for about a half hour, noticing you still hadn’t come out for your shower. He found this odd but quit playing his waiting game, deciding to go back to his own room to think about his day in peace. After all, you weren’t the only one turned on by your little…interaction. He began to walk down the hall, having to walk past your door to get to his room.

You could hear the boys heckling and hollering in the kitchen as they devoured every morsel of food they could get their hands on, certain there wouldn’t be anything left for you to eat when you finally convinced yourself to leave your room. You needed to shower, you could smell the combination of puddle water and dirt as you slowly picked your fingers through the mass of curls that clung to each other in knots, your flesh pimpling from the breeze of the open window as you wondered the small room in nothing but your underwear in search of a clean towel.

You didn’t usually wait so long after returning to dorms to take your shower, but there was a small part of you that kept screaming ‘he’s waiting for you.’ Ghost had no reason to wait around for you to leave your room, you were given the time to change and eat before debriefing and you knew that, so what could he possibly have to wait around for. It's not like he would yell at you in front of your squad. Not again.

Gathering the few things you need to shower, along with your towel and a change of clothes, you inhale a shallow breath as your palm held tightly onto the door handle. The communal shower block was just down the hall, you didn’t need to make it far and then you could wash off the desires that today's encounter had left you feeling. It didn’t matter what thoughts had spun through your mind like a tornado earlier that day as you’d lay beneath Ghost, you had to get rid of them. Slowly twisting the door handle to release the lock, you hesitate, but only for a second before launching the door back and stepping out into the hallway without a word.

He heard you, but of course you didn’t know that. He was always alert to everything, especially the things he wanted to be attentive to. He smirked to himself as he opened the door and entered his room without so much as glancing over. Usually, the only disadvantage of having the room he did is that he was right next to the communal showers, so usually around this time of night it could get quite loud. He was usually at grub during this time but he needed to be alone at the moment. As he shut his door he heard you enter the shower rooms, a smile crossing his face as he began to take off his tactical gear, leaving him in just a black cotton shirt and his cargos. He sat down, leaning back into his chair as he laid a hand on his lap. He chuckled to himself, considering his options for a moment before removing his hand from just above his zipper. He looked up in the mirror and had an idea, saving it for a bit later as he turned to his computer to start his notes for debrief.

You hated the shower block. No one seemed to take care of it correctly and the only time it got a proper clean was as punishment. The soap slick floors and dingy drains clogged with hair reminded you of a prison bathroom. Unkept and filthy.

Rolling your eyes dramatically as you passed by stall after stall in hopes of finding one that was remotely clean, you huff out a disgruntled sign and finally give up. Removing the towel from around your torso and hanging it up on the hook outside the mildewy curtain, you huff out another small breath and step inside. You didn’t see the point in the shower curtains, if you could even call them that. Tattered and basically falling apart from misuse.

Dropping your shower caddy to the floor and slowly cranking up the temperature of the water, you let out a small wince as the scolding water cascaded your spine. If you were going to get all the dirt that had dried into your hair out it would require blistering temperatures, but that didn’t bother you. You were already hot and bothered as Ghost flashed back into your mind, so what difference would some hot water make?

You emptied soap from one of your personal bottles into your hands, beginning to wash the dirt caked on your body. It mostly melted away with the water, thankfully, and you felt cleaner by the second. After a good five minutes you realize your mind hasn’t left him the whole time.

You kept asking yourself ‘was he hard?’. You swore you felt him pressed up against you, his reason for lingering there as long as he did, but it just as well could’ve been a gun. You also couldn’t shake the way he had whispered in your ear. He had no problem chewing you out in front of everybody before, but this time you could feel the heat of his breath of your ear as he told you to get your shit together.

You felt your stomach turn over in that familiar way, the same way it had a few hours ago as he hovered over you. Why was it so sudden that you found yourself thinking about him? And in such a way. Maybe it wasn’t his gun you’d felt and this feeling in your stomach and the images in your mind was your subconscious trying to tell you something. He had definitely lingered and as odd as it was for him to take the moment to scold you in almost silence, you weren’t going to complain.

As the suds washed down the length of your body and the heat of the water caused your skin to tingle, you raked your lengthy fingers through silky tendrils to release the remaining soap to glide over slick breasts. It had happened before you’d processed it correctly, your palm sliding between your thighs causing your own lungs to gasp in a breath of air. You’d definitely felt something inside when Ghost’s hard length had pressed into your lower back and part of you wanted to chase the same feeling again. You were alone, what harm would it cause?

As your hands traveled down your torso you let your mind wander once again. You wondered how big it was that you could feel his hard on through his gear. You felt your stomach turn over in that familiar way as your hand made it between your legs.

A quiet, breathy moan escaped your lips as your clit rolled gently beneath your fingers. He was twice your size, and had no problem swallowing you in his arms. His hands would be able to wrap around your throat without any problem. You leaned your head back as your back hit the shower wall. The thoughts of his hands around your throat crossed your mind as another sound escaped your lips.

“Mmmh— Ghost.”

You panicked for a moment as the words escaped your lips. You knew the communal showers were right next to his room, and you couldn’t make too much noise at the risk of him hearing you. You relaxed as your mind flooded with more thoughts of the Lieutenant, your fingers teasing your own entrance.

Ghost, still in his room and oblivious to your actions, relaxed back into his chair, letting out a heavy sigh as he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans, trying to give his throbbing dick some kind of relief. He couldn’t touch himself. Not yet.

What would Ghost even say if he found out what you were doing, what you were thinking? Would it get you in more trouble if he caught you pleasuring yourself to the thought of him?

The pad of your thumb catching the sensitive bud between your thighs caused your back to arch against the tile, another soft moan parting your lips as you teased your own entrance with slender fingers. You could feel your wetness as it dripped over your fingertips, your slick folds parting as you drove your palm forward to press greedily into your heated core.

“Fuck.”

You groaned as soaked curls pressed back against the shower wall, the abuse against your clit becoming faster as you began to move in and out of your entrance with a steady pump. You could only pray that the pleasure you were giving yourself was coming from Ghost’s fingers as the thought of his palm wrapping tighter around your throat grew stronger, but the images in your head would have to do.

What the hell was that?

Ghost raised an eyebrow as he heard a slight noise coming from the showers, getting up and pressing an ear to the wall.

He could hear you. The moans escaping your lips, your breath hitching as you found just the right spot. He felt his already hard dick throb even harder, listening to you intently. The moans escaping your lips were already enough for him, but his eyes widened a moment later.

He heard his name.

A smirk crossed his face under the baklava, chucking to himself before sitting back down in his chair, having to adjust himself. This was gonna be fun. A lot of fun.

You couldn’t stop his name falling from your lips as your slender fingers thrust deeper into the warmth of your core, your thumb still pressing against your sensitive bundle of nerves as you pulled your free palm through tattered locks. The sensations you were causing only pulled tighter at the band in your stomach, each thrust of your fingers dragging whimpers and moans from your chest into the empty shower room. Thank god you were alone, you wouldn’t live it down if anyone heard you and from that moment on you’d be teased and ridiculed that you fucked yourseld whilst thinking of your boss. Of everyone’s boss.

“That right baby, say my name.”

He said to himself, chuckling at the thought of you saying it to his face in that whiny little voice. He knew things had officially changed for you, and needless to say he was looking forward to playing with his new toy.

It wasn’t long until he heard a different kind of squeak pass your lips, and he knew you had just brought yourself to climax. His hand rested on his cock for a moment before he smirked, ready to finally execute his plan. As he heard you come out of the showers, he took out his phone.

You’d never got dressed so quickly, but you were desperate to get back to your room and process what you’d just done. Food could wait. Debrief could wait. All you wanted was to be alone.

Grabbing your belongings and hurrying from the shower room, you practically sprint back down the hallway in the direction of your room. You couldn’t even glance at Ghost’s door as you passed it, worried that a flush of color would grace your cheeks and that someone would catch you.

Fumbling with the doorknob to your room as you held on tightly to your things, you cussed under your breath as you struggled. Why was everything so difficult for you right now?

Ghost heard you struggling and chuckled to himself once again. You were still flustered after all that, you couldn’t even perform simple tasks. He wondered how flustered you would be after he got done with you.

Once he heard your door open and shut his chair turned to the mirror. Slightly pulling down his unzipped jeans to show the large bulge in his boxers, he snapped a quick picture in the mirror. With a quick glance and a smile, he pressed send as the message hit your phone, along with another text. It was simple and straightforward, his usual style.

“Payback. I heard you little dove.”

You’d barely sat down on your mattress and began to process your frustration when the vibration hit your phone, your fingers blindly searching for the electronic device at your side as you exhaled a long breath. Who the fuck was bothering you at this time?

Crystal hues flitting to the words etched across the screen, you almost choke on your breath. Your usual doe-like gaze widening in shock as the image burns into your pupils.

“Shit. Shit.. shit.. shit.”

He’d heard you. How could you have been so careless? You’d tried your hardest to keep quiet, like it was a hidden shame you didn’t want anyone to know about and yet obviously you’d failed. Ghost’s little pet name hadn’t even sunk in as you stared wide eyed at the bulge in his boxers. The outline perfectly snapped against the fabric. Fuck, it was…

Your thoughts wandered to a place you wouldn’t admit to anyone, the fire between your legs igniting once more as you chewed nervously at your lower lip. It was definitely payback indeed.

When he saw the “read” sign pop up he smiled, clicking his phone off and leaning back in his chair, hands behind his head. He knew he had you just front the lack of reaction so far. You were processing. He gave you a lot to think about, for sure. He groaned a bit, adjusting himself once again as he throbbed against his boxers. Everything in him wanted to call you in here and put you on your knees, but the whole crew was home and the walls weren’t exactly soundproof, and he knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold back even with all these people in the dormitory. He stayed quiet for now, digging his palm into the bugle in his lap.

How did he expect you to face him at debrief after a stunt like that? Such a simple display had you practically salivating as you continued to stare at his text without even blinking. Your lower lips catching between pearly whites as you pictured just what he’d look like without those pesky boxer shorts. Was he bateing you? Trying to give himself yet another thing for him to torture you over, because it was definitely working.

Your fingertips twitched against your phone screen as you traced the outline of his bulge against the glass, swallowing the saliva that pooled on your tongue so as to not drool all over yourself. What was this little mind fuck he was playing with you and why couldn’t you bring yourself to look away?

There was a part of you that wanted to clap back. To scream just how unprofessional he was being, but you’d just fucked yourself to the though of him, you had no right to retaliate. A soft exhale parting your lips as you closed the phone and placed it beside you.

“Fucking asshole.”

You muttered to yourself as you pushed up off the mattress, squeezing your thighs together in attempts to dull the fire he’d reignited as you crossed the room towards your small dresser. It’s not like you play back to his game and give him an eye full at debrief, you had a strict dress code in the dorms and you couldn’t risk another write up today.

Ghost continued to palm himself, the thought of you in your room losing your mind over his little stunt turning him on even more. The sounds of your voice saying his name rang out in his head.

“Oh fuck me.”

He muttered, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling. What was he going to do with you now. Part of him hoped your newfound affection would help keep you in line, but another part of him wanted you to test him, just so he could punish you in a whole new way. He had secretly hoped you’d send a picture back, but he was doubtful that would happen in your current panic.

Pawing through the collection of clothes within your dresser draw, the tip of your nose crinkled as you skimmed past plain t-shirt after plain t-shirt. You needed to shake the image from your mind before you faced him, but it was proving more difficult than you’d expected. Your entire mind was cloaked with the vision of his perfect imprint against his boxers, your entire body feeling flush as your mind began to wonder again. How could you focus on anything when all you wanted was for him to fuck you.

Part One

For mamas, @herwwegirl

Summary: after the three happiest years of her life, Rhea plans a surprise proposal a few days after your 3rd anniversary.

Chapter Three

Dom!Rhea Ripley x Fem!Reader

In Collaboration with @herwwegirl

Word Count:8324

Summary: Working at a small bar in California to provide for yourself and your son, you meet an unlikely stranger on a late Friday night. A drunken hook-up behinds to turn into something more

-

Yet another heavy sigh passed your lips as you intently scrubbed a stain on the bar counter that just wouldn’t come up. You had been at it for five minutes before you looked closer, your eyes squinting before you stood upright with a huff.

“Who put a cigarette out on the fucking bar top. These men are pigs I swear.”

You scoffed, tossing the rag to the side in frustration as you turned to look around the bar. Nobody was at the counter at the moment, most of the patrons were already wasted and standing on the far side by the big-screens and pool tables. You glanced up at the clock on the far wall; it was 11:30, an hour before closing time.

This was your first shift since your night with Rhea, and as much as you hated to admit it, you had spent the first few hours of your shift subconsciously waiting, hoping she would show up. Around the end of hour two you had ‘given up hope’, but now seeing that your shift was over in an hour, you had completely abandoned hope. You disappointedly glanced across the bar once more, your mind flashing back to the morning after you met her.

Eddie had woken you up at a bright and early seven o’clock, begging for pancakes. After what you later realized was only about three hours of sleep, you could barely get yourself up. You had been rubbing your eyes as Eddie ran out of the room, babbling about something concerning Cody Rhodes. A laugh escaped your lips as you heard him; you had been into WWE as a kid, and when you absentmindedly put it on for him one time while making dinner he had fallen in love. You had barely opened your eyes as Eddie poked his head back in the door, looking at you like you were crazy.

“Momma. Pancakes please!”

Another chuckle escaped from your throat as you stood up, running a hand back through your hair and leaving your room to make your five year old pancakes.

Your mind returned to the moment as you heard the bar door open, not bothering to look at who it was as you turned to grab the cocktail menu. At this point in the night you really didn’t feel like opening a new tab for whoever had just walked in the door, but it’s not like you had a choice.

- -

Both Rhea’s palms pressed firmly into the steering wheel ahead of her, stared out into the parking lot before her with a crinkled brow. She wanted to go in; walk back into the bar and let her heart feel what it had been craving. To feel the butterflies in her stomach that she’d felt the first time she’d layed eyes on you. To see your smile, to hear your laugh. But what if you weren’t there, or what if you didn’t want to see her.

Inhaling a shallow breath as her eyelids fluttered closed for a few brief moments, Rhea grabbed her phone from the center console and pulled the keys from the ignition, slipping out of the truck and locking the vehicle behind her. She had to go in. If you weren’t there she could just leave and if you didn’t want to see her; she wouldn’t fight it. But she wouldn’t know until the neon lights of the tiny bar hit her skin once more.

Pausing in front of the door as her palm rested down against the chipped paint, Rhea chuckled to herself. The last time she’d entered this bar she’d had the best night of her life, with the most amazing woman and now she was nervous. Oh how a little bit of time apart from you had changed her. Nerves weren't something Rhea felt often, she was an alpha; always had been. Exhaling a short breath, she lifted her head high and slipped into the confines of the bar.

An impish smirk pulled at her lips as she directed her gaze straight towards the bar. There you were, just like you had been the day she met you. You didn’t look up, causing a small sting in Rhea’s chest. Were you avoiding her?

Trying her best to keep her foot falls even, Rhea crossed the bar in silence. You hadn’t looked up from the menu once, giving her just enough time to reach the bar stool she’d sat on that very first night. An eat shit smirk claiming her features as she slipped her lengthy fingers across the bar and into your view, leaning forward against the wood as she took her seat.

“You can put that down princess, I already know what I want.”

You felt your heart stop. That was her voice. The one you couldn’t get out of your head. The one that nearly drove you to tears of pleasure the last time you saw each other. Your mouth fell open for a few moments before you looked up, meeting her gaze with a still shocked expression.

“Demi? Oh my god.”

You said quietly yet with a smile, trying not to draw attention from the bar patrons or your manager. Admittedly, you also didn’t want to let on just how happy you were to see her. How happy you were to see her was a problem, and it stung once again that you knew this couldn’t go anywhere

Your chest met the bar top as you leaned over, your face so close to Rhea’s at the moment you could feel her breath on your skin, a feeling you desperately missed. You outstretched your hand to tuck a strand of black hair behind her ear before standing up. If she was here, you were gonna make it worth it.

“You want a whiskey?”

The slightly flustered expression that claimed your features was enough to pull a small chuckle from Rhea’s chest, her lower lip rolling beneath her pearly whites as you tucked the hair behind her ear and regained your upright posture.

“For starters.”

Rhea uttered as she rested her elbows against the countertop. The excitement in your tone you’d tried so desperately to hide had given her some hope, at least you wanted to see her. That much was clear. Grazing her sapphire hues up and down the length of your body just like she had done the night you met, she couldn’t help the saliva that pooled on her tongue. You truly were breathtaking, no wonder she couldn’t get you off her mind.

Tracing her fingertip in circles against the bar top, Rhea’s gaze wandered around the bar swiftly. Not too many patrons remained at such a late time, which meant she would get more time with you one on one. The corners of her lips twitching into a playful smile as she returned her gaze to look upon you.

She hadn’t truly realized how much she’d missed you until she was here, right in front of you, witnessing your smile again in person. Losing herself in your multi coloured hues as she relished in your features.

And soft smile claimed your face as you ran your hand down Rhea’s arm, shooting her a wink before sauntering over to the far side of the bar, pouring her drink. You couldn’t believe she was here. She came back. She wanted to see you.

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself as your heart fluttered, once again feeling like a little school girl with a crush. As you finished making her drink you turned around, meeting her gaze from opposite sides of the bar, it drove you crazy how she couldn’t keep her eyes off you. As you approached her with the drink, you set it down gently on the counter, using your finger to gently push it towards her.

“Your whiskey on the rocks, Mami.”

You said with an eat shit grin, your arms moving up as you adjusted the ponytail your hair was in. The two of you didn’t seem to break eye contact for even a moment. You felt like you had to cherish as much of this time as possible; you had already gone through the pain of possibly never seeing her again, and now that she was here you figured you’d give your heart what it desperately wanted. Every time you reminded yourself you couldn’t bring her home it stung. A one night stand had turned into a hurricane of emotions for you.

Waiting until you returned your palms to the bar top, Rhea stretched out her own to take your hand in hers, the pad of her thumb tracing over each of your knuckles as her sparkling gaze remained fixated on your features.

“I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me.”

She uttered as she fought back the concern in her voice. One night stands were supposed to be just that; a one night stand and as hard as she had tried to stay away she was relieved you’d welcomed her return with such a positive response.

Releasing your hand to grasp at the tumbler you’d placed before her, Rhea took a large sip before plastering an impish grin upon her lips.

“I hope I didn’t get you in too much trouble keeping you so late.”

“Of course I wanted to see you ag-“

You cut yourself off, and fast. Yes, you wanted to see her, but you couldn’t let her get the idea that you could keep seeing her. You were already starting to feel like this went too far, past a one night stand and into a tangle of emotions and feelings. You let out a long sigh and shot her a soft smile, hoping she didn’t take it the wrong way.

“It’s no trouble, I’m here until midnight anyway, might as well have some good looking company.”

You smiled nervously, trying to push past the anxiety and enjoy this moment with her. The truth is you just felt guilty, like you were leading her on when you were bound to turn her away. Your gaze shifted from her face to the drink on the counter, watching and listening as the ice moved each time Rhea adjusted her grip.

“I’ll stay as long as you want me.”

Suppressing a chuckle at the double meaning to her reply, Rhea brought the glass back to her lips to take another sip. Your demeanor seemed different to the night you met and this concerned her, was coming here a mistake? Should she have stayed away?

Pressing her lips into a firm line, she inhaled a shallow breath. Maybe you didn’t want her to show up after all.

“Then stay ‘till closing. We can have a drink or two, but then I have to get home.”

You warmly smiled at her, placing your hand on top of hers as you squeezed it gently. You didn’t want to hurt her feelings, you wanted to keep her around more than anything. You thought about just telling her straight. Just telling her you’re more into her than anything, but you have a life that wouldn’t allow you to be together. You wanted to tell her all of this desperately, but at the same time you couldn’t stand the thought of scaring her off.

The flutter in Rhea’s chest as your palm rested down against her own caused a warm smile to tug at her lips. Every interaction you shared gave her hope, stupid hope, that maybe this could be something. The attention she often got didn’t make her feel the way you did, it was always directed towards ‘Rhea’; her persona but never to herself.

Her popularity had increased tremendously as of late and it was still a surprise to her that you didn’t know who she was. Maybe you were just playing it cool, not wanting to freak out over a celebrity sighting. Or maybe, just maybe, you didn’t care. You saw her for her.

“Deal.”

She finally spoke, her gaze cantering back as she intently watched the same male from two nights prior approaching the bar. Motioning with her head in his direction, she mimicked his pet name for you as she raised the glass to her lips.

“You're up baby girl, I won’t keep you from working.”

Chortling softly, Rhea gave your palm a gentle squeeze before giving you the freedom to do your job. Knocking back the remainder of her drink and hoping from the bar stool. If you wanted her to stay, then she would but not before changing the monstrous choice of music the regulars had chosen from the jukebox.

Shooting you a cheeky wink as she slid down the length of the bar top, she passed the disgruntled male with a roll of her eyes. He was practically salivating as he stared at you, ignoring her as she made her way to the jukebox with a throaty chortle.

As she walked away a smirk claimed your lips, your eyes darting down to her ass for a moment before you snapped back to reality, shifting your gaze to the obviously drunk man approaching you.

“Don't tell me you want another one Charlie. I’m telling you they’re gonna start getting on my ass about over-serving.”

You said with a giggle as the man rested his palms on the bar. You raised an eyebrow as he stumbled a bit even with the support, looking up at you with glossy eyes.

“Shut up Y/n. Close my goddamn tab.”

The man grumbled, obviously further gone than you originally thought. You would be worried about him driving home, but one of the reasons Charlie was a regular was he lived a few houses up from the bar. Back when you had first started working here he would come in every once in a while, but when his marriage fell apart after his retirement, this is where he spent most of his days.

“Somebody’s grumpy tonight. I’ll close your tab if you ask me nicely”

You said with a soft laugh, sliding his card from his side of the counter to yours, holding it in the air as a tease. The man looked at you angrily for a moment before letting out a sigh, stumbling once again before speaking.

“Can you please close my tab, princess.”

The snark in his voice was evident, but you didn’t care. To be honest, you just liked having a little fun with them. Most of the regulars you saw on a near daily basis, and with the absence of any family except for Eddie, this was your family.

“Thank you, Charlie. Yes I will.”

You slid the card between your teeth as you picked up a few empty glasses from the bar, including Rhea’s, and made your way over to the register. You set the glasses down beside you as you ran Charlie’s card, pulling the receipt and lying it down for a moment. You took Rhea’s glass, pouring her another whiskey before bringing both the drink and the card back to Charlie. You set the glass down a few stools away before handing Charlie his card and receipt with a smile.

“Get home safe, Charles”

As the man walked away from the bar your eyes once again darted to Rhea, whos back was still turned to you at the jukebox. You had to admit you were excited for what she would pick, the regulars had a decent taste in music, but a limited one. Your eyes traced her figure once more, fixated on her every curve of her body.

Sure the jukebox had a decent set list, quite a few of the songs already on Rhea’s everyday playlist but she knew exactly what song she wanted. It had been so obvious, yet she’d played it cool and browsed the choices first.

Finally pressing the code for the same Nine Inch Nails song you’d chosen the night you spent together, she spun on sneaker clad feet to lean back against the jukebox frame. Her crystal hues finding yours almost immediately as the corner of her lips twitched, Rhea slid her tongue over her teeth before adorning her signature eat shit grin upon her lips.

“Goooood song!”

A drunk heckled from the far side of the bar as Rhea made her way back in the direction of her stool, a small chuckle parting her lips as she paused in front of you to lean against the bar, her palms sliding across the countertop as she brought her lips in line with yours.

Rhea’s fingertips clamped like a vice around your chin, pulling your face a little closer to hers as to cast the warmth of her breath against your skin. Fuck she wanted to kiss you, but with all the watching eyes she decided otherwise. Slowly releasing her hold to stand back upright with an impish grin.

“Great song.”

You were frozen in place as soon as you heard the first note. Your mind flashed back to the first time Rhea walked into the bar, moments of the night that led up to you putting on this exact song. You knew she knew what she was doing. As Rhea grabbed your face you were still too flustered to do anything, regardless of the bar patrons watching. It took a few more moments of the song playing for you to fully register.

I wanna date you maybe

I wanna take you out

The song itself sounded like sex, let alone the memories associated with it now. You felt yourself physically shake off the embarrassment, your lips curling into a smile as your eyes met Rhea’s. You looked around quickly for your manager before leaning in closer to her, very quietly whispering in her ear in the sexiest voice you could muster at that register.

“You tryna make a fool outta me?”

You leaned back behind the bar counter as you watched her face for a reaction. As you placed your palms on the wooden bar top, the strap of your shirt fell to your shoulder. You didn’t bother with it, instead letting your eyes wander from her face down her muscular arms, stopping to mull over her tattoos for merely seconds before looking back at her.

I wanna wine and dine you

Oh, I wanna twist, and twist, and shout.

Rhea’s tongue toyed with her back tooth as her gaze caught your strap as it cascaded your shoulder, her lids dropping slightly into a devilish glare. Her features looked like she wanted to eat you alive, her breath catching in her throat as slid her tongue across her pearly whites.

All her mind could think of was what you looked like under your clothes, her focus shifting to the damage she’d done to your neck as she scanned your exposed collarbone with sapphire hues. Of course you’d covered them in about a gallon of concealer for work, not wanting the stares they would have undoubtedly caused.

“Now why would I do that, princess?”

She purred, tracing her fingertip around the rim of her glass as your gaze returned to hers. There were much better things she could make out of you than a fool. A gaggle of dirty thoughts flooded her mind as she lifted her beverage up to her lips, gulping back a large mouthful as she refused to break eye contact.

You couldn’t help but mentally undress her over and over, the memory of her topless form burnt into your memory. You didn’t break eye contact, instead leaning down to speak to her once again, this time forgetting to check your surroundings.

I want you hot in my arms

So soft on my bed

The space between your faces was almost nonexistent, as you had completely forgotten you were even at work at this moment with her, and thankfully most of the bar's patrons were too far gone to notice.

“There’s no getting in my pants tonight hot stuff, I’m not the one closing.”

You said with a sly wink, almost nose to nose with Rhea when a loud voice rattled you back to reality.

“Y/n! Get your head out of your ass it’s closing time.”

Your manager scolded from the far side of the bar, looking annoyed. You weren’t too worried about it, as he had a short temper and this was nothing new. You simply nodded, standing up and hurrying to the other side of the bar to speak with him. It was only at this moment could Rhea fully see what you were wearing; not only a skimpy black tank-top, but a little black miniskirt too, finished off by some studded combat boots. You wouldn’t ever admit it to her or yourself, but you wore it just in case she were to show up.

You get the key to my heart

When you wear that sweet dress.

It wasn’t that Rhea had expected she’d get to share another night of passion filled sex with you, but as you closed the door on it being a reality she’d cursed her luck. Her brow furrowing slightly as your manager had interrupted a moment between you, she exhaled a shallow huff and sat upright on her stool, finishing her drink in a single swallow.

How was she supposed to think of anything else with the amount of skin you were showing? The hem of your skirt barely covered the perfect mound of your ass and once again she found herself staring. If only you were alone, there isn’t a surface in the entire bar she wouldn’t fuck you on.

But you’re so physical

Physical

Too me.

Racking her palm through midnight locks with a quick breath, Rhea’s mind began to wonder. Her subconscious picturing things she could only imagine. How hard would she have to spank you for your ass to jiggle beneath her touch? How loud could she make you scream her name as you begged her to keep going?

I want your rough house baby

I want this right in your ear

Swallowing back the saliva that collected on her tongue as she allowed her gaze to drop the full length of your slender legs, her lips twitching into a coy smirk as she remembered just how much they had shook while she punished you.

She didn’t want to force anything between you, truthfully all she’d craved was seeing you. Clothes or not.

It took everything in you to keep a straight face as your manager basically bitched you, but all the noise was drowned out by the sensation of Rhea’s eyes on your ass. You knew she noticed. You knew she was looking. You knew what she was thinking.

As your manager began to wind down you couldn’t help but press yourself up on your toes a bit, something nobody would notice except for her, when the panties beneath your skirt were revealed by the angle.

You let me feel your danger

I let you make this feeling clear here.

You let out a sigh of relief when he finally left, your heels touching the ground once more as you rang the bell as loudly as possible.

“Alright boys time to go home to your wives!”

The bar erupted in a chorus of groans and profanity, a laugh escaping from your throat as you snuck a look at Rhea across the bar. You didn’t have a moment to do anything more, as the mass of men had already begun lining up at the bar to close their tabs. The redirection of attention sparked an idea in you; why not get more tips, while teasing her?

I want the touch of your arms

The heat of your breath

As the first man offered up his card, you leaned over the counter on your toes the way you would if you were 3 inches shorter than you actually were. In the position you had yourself, it was more than easy to imagine someone had bent you over the bar top.

You were torturing her, that was clear and it took everything in her for Rhea to remain focused. The lace panties you wore were so similar to the ones she’d ripped clean off you only a few nights earlier and only made the desire that burned in her eyes so much stronger. How could you keep doing this to her when you’d already closed the door on her ripping your clothes off with her bare hands and taking you where you stood.

I wanna say all those things

That would be better unsaid, no.

Chewing at her inner cheek as she watched you work, her admiration was interrupted by the stumbled sounds of an unfamiliar voice. Not one of your patrons had said two words to her since she’d arrived, so who was this fumbling idiot and what did he want?

Cantering her head with a quirked brow, Rhea couldn’t help the small chortle in her chest as she watched Charles stumble into her view. His palm reaching out for the bar top; and missing, she found herself supporting the booze soaked male to the stool beside her.

“She’s a hot lil thing, ain’t she?”

Charles slurred, the pungent smell of his breath causing Rhea to sit back slightly on her stool to avoid being punched in the face with his scent.

She couldn’t justify the feeling that burnt in her chest; as if Charles staring at you was crossing some line that didn’t sit right. Was it jealousy?

“Didn’t she tell you to go home?”

Rhea practically snarled, the tension in her chest growing tighter as she watched the whites of Charles’ eyes flow down the curvature of your spine and over the curve of your ass. You weren’t her girl, but that didn’t give pervy guys the right to look at you like some sex object.

Charles practically choked on his own saliva as he fumbled with his words once more, his gaze breaking from your form to look at Rhea once more.

“Wha—”

A loud hiccup cut Charles off, his form swaying on the stool as he attempted to speak again.

“What are— what are you, one of those gays?”

Rhea jaw clenched at his words, her fingertips gripping tightly around the edge of the bar top as she held her breath. She could just hit him. That’s how she would have let out her frustration at work, but this wasn’t the ring and Charles wasn’t exactly in the best shape to take her on.

Flitting her gaze over to where you still perched over the bar so effortlessly, she brushed off the drunk's comment with an aggressive roll of her eyes. She didn’t want to give you the wrong idea.

“How about you just go home, before she catches you and throws you out herself.”

“You know she ain’t into girls. She ain’t into—“

He trailed off, nearly falling asleep on spot before he jolted back up, standing up from the bar stool and stumbling towards the door, still mumbling about how you weren’t gay until he had fully left the bar.

By this time you were closing the last customers tab, falling back on your heels and barely waving him goodbye before you walked around the bar, following the patrons out and locking the door behind them. You turned to Rhea with a disappointed look, walking to the stool next to her and taking a seat, legs crossed.

“I can’t stay for drinks, it’s already later than I was supposed to close and I still have to catch a cab home. I’m sorry.”

You felt like your heart was at your feet. You had glanced at the clock while checking the last customer out, and had noticed it was nearly 1:15. You really had closed late, but you had gotten lost in your time with Rhea. The pain of having to leave her behind a second time hurt ten times worse. You knew she was going to offer to drive you home, but the thought of that made you feel so guilty. You had been teasing her all night, now you’re going to let her drive you home and you can’t even invite her in?

Rhea had been keeping track of the time ever since your manager had caused a stink about your lack of attention, each passing second taking away from your time together. There was nothing she could do about it, you’d already made it clear that being home on time was something of importance to you and she wasn’t going to test that again tonight.

Placing both her palms down onto your knees as you apologized for having to leave, Rhea couldn’t help the small smile that graced her lips. Even though she’d spent the whole night picturing you naked, not crossing boundaries was something she took very seriously.

“You don’t have to apologize to me, princess. Look I don’t like you taking a cab alone, it’s not far—”

She paused. The expression that claimed your features felt so familiar, were you going to reject her ride again. It’s not like driving you home had any hidden ultimatum, it was late and you were a single female getting into a stranger's car alone. Gently squeezing your knees as her thumbs traced against your exposed skin, Rhea released a palm to tilt your chin up and make you meet her gaze. Maybe she wouldn’t give you a chance to say no. She just wanted you home safe.

“Grab your bag.”

Tracing her thumb against the angle of your jawline, her lips morphed into a playful smile as she hopped off her stool.

“Finish up with the boss man and meet me at the truck. No buts.”

A smile claimed your lips again as Rhea placed her hands on your thighs, trying to hide the heat crossing your face. Right as you were about to turn the ride down she hadn’t given you a chance, and if there was one thing both of you had learned in your time together, it’s that you were good at following her directions.

“Ok. I’ll meet you at the truck, give me five.”

As Rhea left the bar you took a deep breath, trying to suppress the feelings of guilt that were overwhelming you. Here you were letting her drive you home, leading her on yet again. You felt even worse the moment you realized part of the reason she was driving you home was because she was worried about you. She already cared enough to worry, and there was nothing you could do to change that.

It was about ten minutes later that you knocked on the window of the truck, alerting Rhea to your presence before opening the door and jumping in. You quickly set your bag on the floor and looked over at her with a smile.

“Thanks for taking me home. Again. You remember where my house is right?”

Rhea’s fingertips drummed against the steering wheel as you slipped into the truck beside her, a small smile tugging at her lips as you thanked her for the ride home. Of course she was taking you home, she wasn't okay with the idea of anyone else doing the job; especially in the skirt you’d chosen. It barely covered anything and she didn’t want wandering eyes checking you out. Not when she wanted to do the same thing so badly. Your bare skin called to her, begging to be touched, begging to be marked.

Rolling her lips between her teeth, Rhea cantered her head to the side to take in your features. Even in the dim light of the moon that shone in through the front window you were breathtaking to her, the light reflecting in your glistening hues as you looked upon each other.

“Left out the parking lot and follow the street down through the neighborhood.”

Rhea informed you. She wasn’t exactly sure how she’d remembered the way to your house, she’d taken you home once and yet it was as if the directions were sketched into her mind. She remembered so many details about you that it made sense, but as she spoke she questioned if it was making her sound stalkerish. Turning her attention back out into the almost empty parking lot, Rhea cleared her throat slightly before turning the key in the ignition.

The truck rumbled to life as she peeked over at you through her peripherals. She didn’t have much time left with you, she assumed you would disappear into the house in a hurry once again and leave her with even more feeling and so much pain as she watched you leave. Pulling the stick shift into reverse and checking her mirrors, Rhea snook one last peek over at you before hitting the gas.

Inhaling a shallow breath, Rhea contemplated telling you what was on her mind. She’d come to the bar tonight because she couldn’t shake you, no matter what she did and no matter how hard she tried you’d been on her mind for two days straight. She’d barely slept, not for a lack of trying.

“Do..”

The word was almost silent, there was no way you’d heard it and yet Rhea still hesitated. Her gaze remained on the road as she indicated to leave the parking lot, following the road signs even though the roads were empty and the pause wasn’t necessary. It was a stupid idea to think and an even stupider idea to say out loud. Her lips pressed into a line as she changed her mind on asking her question.

You couldn’t shake the guilt and stayedd mostly silent for the drive home until you reached the house. As Rhea pulled in front of the driveway you felt like you were going to be sick to your stomach. You didn’t want to leave her, you wanted to have her come inside and do unimaginable things to you, but you knew once again that you couldn’t; you had more important things to take care of. As she put the truck in park you looked over at her, immediately meeting her gaze. You got an overwhelming feeling in your chest that you wanted, no, needed to kiss her.

Your hand slinked over to the driver side, placing down on Rhea’s legs as you traced circles on her skin. You couldn’t kiss her, it would only make things worse. You thought about something, anything to say, but you wound up with nothing. You found yourself staring at her with wide eyes, not wanting to leave her but knowing you had too.

Each gentle movement of your palm had Rhea’s heartbeat increasing. Maybe you would want to see her again, you wouldn’t be staying in the car and showing her any kind of affection if you didn't, right? Taking a quick glance over your shoulder in the direction of the door you’d so quickly disappeared behind only a few nights prior, she exhaled a shallow breath and returned her gaze to yours.

“I’m so happy I got to see you again.”

Rhea’s palm moved to cradle around your jaw, her thumb tracing against the apple of your cheek as she inhaled a breath. She didn’t want to let you go without a proper goodbye, but would kissing you be a mistake? She couldn’t keep showing up in your life like this without knowing if you felt even a slight feeling towards her. She felt something about you, maybe too much, but she couldn’t help herself. There was something about you that just fit.

Flicking the lock on her seatbelt to release herself from its binding, Rhea leant forward without another thought. The soft plush of her lips finding yours in a desperate and hungry kiss. Your lips hadn’t touched in far too long and if she was going to make it through watching you walk away again, she needed it.

Winding her free palm around the curvature of your spine, she let it rest against your lower back as her tongue fought with dominance to enter your mouth. The heat behind her kiss was clear as day. She needed you; even for a moment, because as soon as you stepped out of the truck she had no idea when she’d see you again.

A small, startled squeak escaped your mouth as Rhea’s lips collided with yours, but you didn’t hesitate for a moment to kiss her back. As her hand trailed down your spine you got chills, your fingers digging into the skin of her thigh as your lips moved together in unison. Both of you had needed this, that was clear. You could tell just how much she wanted you, but much she really liked you— and you couldn’t do this anymore.

You pulled away from her grasp, feeling like you were on the brink of crying as your lips parted. You wouldn’t meet her gaze, instead looking back towards the house then at Rhea’s dashboard.

“Demi. I can’t do this. I can’t let you get attached to me.”

You felt like your heart was about to beat out of your chest. You couldn’t take the guilt any longer, you had to let her know what she was going to be in for. You had to let her know this fantasy was just that, a fantasy.

“My life is a mess. I’m at the bar six days a week, and I’m a single mom. I have a five year old. My focus needs to be on my child. I’m sorry.”

You finally looked up at her for a reaction, terrified of what you would find. You had desperately tried to keep from telling her the truth, from scaring her away, but you couldn’t let her get attached to you when you knew you would break her heart; and yours in the process.

It all happened so fast as Rhea simply watched you explain your life to her, the ball forming in her throat and restricting her airways, the tightness in her chest as her palms moved to rest in her lap. You were rejecting her and even though she’d tried to prepare herself for it over and over again, it still tore at her insides like razor blades.

“You— you’re a mum.”

She stated as she tried her best to swallow, her palm finally moving to rest on the curvature of your knee with the most gentle touch.

“I didn’t see that one coming.”

A throaty chortle vibrated in Rhea’s chest as she gave your knee a soft squeeze, the pads of her fingers trailing against the soft exposed flesh of your lower thigh as she inhaled a long breath.

“That’s why you left so quickly?”

The reality was that Rhea had played over in her head every situation she could think of as to why you’d left so abruptly the night you met, but a child wasn’t even a blip in those thoughts.

Retracting her palm from your thigh to capture the soft cushion of your cheek, Rhea leant forward to press her forehead down against your own.

“And that’s why you have to leave now.”

Rhea didn’t see herself as someone who would start a family of her own and the idea of having children in her life was scary, but was that all too late? You’d become her only focal point. She already cared for you so much more than she should and now she had to decide if she was willingly to sacrifice you over such a small detail?

“Yes, I’m a mum.”

You said, a small smile crossing your face as Rhea kept the lack of space between you, not pulling away from you, and not telling you to get the hell out of the truck for leading her on. Despite her reaction you still felt a little guilty; a child was not something everybody was ready for, especially for somebody who, originally, just wanted to hook up with you at the bar.

“And that’s why I have to leave. I’m sorry Demi.”

Your hand found hers, giving it a gentle squeeze as you tried to non-verbally convey just how sorry you were. You weren’t just sorry for her, you were sorry for yourself; there really was something different about her, but you had a lot of doubt that she would want to put up with a five year old, regardless of how much she liked you. You yourself were only 24, and although you didn’t know her exact age, it was clear she wasn’t much older than you, and for a few twenty year olds a child was a lot. You didn’t want to tie her down like that. You didn’t want to feel even more guilty.

It took a few moments for Rhea to regain her focus, returning the gentle squeeze against your palm as she traced the apple of your cheek with her thumb. She couldn’t process why you were apologizing. It wasn’t a situation that required one and yet you seemed so disappointed in yourself.

Sitting back to cast her crystal hues over your features, Rhea exhaled a small breath and gave your palm another squeeze before releasing you from her hold. She didn’t want to make you late, you had more important things to be dealing with than spending time with her.

“I don’t want to keep you.”

She uttered, her lips curving into a soft simper as she glanced over to the clock on the dashboard. It was almost two a.m and she didn’t want to be responsible for you returning home late again.

“Go, it’s okay. Kiddo comes first, I get it.”

You smiled softly, almost wincing the second the two of you were no longer in contact. You stared at her for a moment, just in case you had scared her away; she had a face you needed to remember.

“Goodnight.”

You opened the door of the truck, hopping out and beginning to walk towards the house. You told yourself you had to keep it together, there was no use in getting upset. The situation was what it was and at this point you did all you could do. Rhea was amazing, and you hadn’t wanted to hurt her or turn her away, but you had no choice.

As you reached the door and pulled out your keys you hesitated, still hearing her truck running behind you. After putting the key in the lock and turning, you looked back over your shoulder once more to look at the truck. What if that was the last time you saw her? What if you really had scared her off? A soft smile claimed your lips, just in case she could see your face, before you turned and disappeared through the door.

The soft smile on your lips caused one to grace Rhea’s own as she watched the door close and you disappear behind it, her attention moving to look out over your street as she inhaled a sharp breath. Once again she sat alone outside your house, but this time it was different.

Buckling her belt and starting up the truck faster than she had the first night, Rhea hit the gas without looking back. You were a mum, you had responsibilities and as much as she wanted you in her life maybe it wasn’t wise. She was gone weeks at a time, sometimes months. Her scheduling wasn’t something she could control and that left her more concerned than she needed it to. You knew nothing about her; what she did for a living. Perhaps you were doing the right thing choosing your child over her, putting your life ahead of your feelings.

Rhea needed time to think. She cared for you so deeply that being away from you hurt, but maybe it was for the best? She didn’t want to add the drama and craziness of her life to the undoubtedly messy situation you already lived with.

It took everything in you to keep it together as you closed the door behind you, going on to relieve the babysitter and sitting on the couch once she left. You had really just turned her away, there was a good chance of you never seeing her again, and you had to come to terms with that.

“Mommy?”

You heard a little voice behind you, snapping out of the emotional trance you were in to turn around, seeing Eddie in his WWE pajamas clutching his blanket.

“Yes hunny? What’re you doing up?”

You said as you stood, walking around the couch and scooping him into your arms. As you shifted his weight into your hip you smiled at him, giving his forehead a soft kiss.

“Can I sleep with you?”

He mumbled, his face buried in your shoulder. You could tell he was tired, but with you being gone a lot he sometimes struggled and liked to sleep in your bed.

“Yes baby, of course you can. C’mon, let's get some sleep.”

You carried him off to your room, a soft smile on your lips. This. This is why you had done what you did tonight. Every time you saw him you couldn’t help but think about just how much you loved him, how much he had saved you from yourself. He was the most important thing in your life, the only thing that had ever made you happy; except for her. That thought stung for a moment before Eddie’s little arms wrapped around your neck. You let out a long sigh as you laid your head on his, sitting on your bed with him still in your arms.

“Do you want music or TV baby?”

You asked him while rubbing your hand up and down his back. He really was just like you in so many ways, including his inability to fall asleep without background noise.

“I want music, Momma.”

He said quietly. You smiled to yourself, laying him down on the left side of the bed as you rolled over to yours. He was so sleepy he was struggling to keep his little eyes open. You pulled the blanket over him, turning off the lamp by your bed so that only the moonlight lit the room.

“Alexa, play Matchbox 20.”

You had a smile on your face, putting on a band you had played for Eddie since you found out you were pregnant. You rolled onto your back, staring at the ceiling. As the song began to play, your heart dropped. Of all songs, it had to be “Hand Me Down”. This song had to come on the one time in your life where the lyrics were relevant.

Someday they’ll find your small time world on a big time avenue

Gonna make you like the way they talk, when they’re talking to you.

Immediately you felt a pool of saliva in your throat, the familiar feeling of holding back tears starting to build. Thankfully, your toddler was already passed out asleep beside you, oblivious to the conflicted feeling of his mother. Your eyes were still locked on the ceiling as you fixated on the lyrics stinging your heart.

Gonna make you break out of your shell ‘cause they tell you to

Gonna make you like the way they lie, better than the truth

The nights you had spent with Rhea you had felt like a completely different person. You had never even fathomed feeling a spark with anybody again, let alone a woman. The usual calmness and control you had was thrown completely out the window the second you heard her voice.

They’ll tell you everything you wish that someone else would say,

They’re gonna break your heart, yeah

From what I’ve seen

You’re just one more hand me down

Cause no one’s tryna give you what you need

You felt the first tear run down your face, taking a quiet but deep breath in to try and calm yourself. It was already too late.

So lay all your troubles, down

I am with you now.

You glanced over at your child, the tears slowing for a moment as you took in the beauty that was him, just sleeping. You had to keep reminding yourself you did what you did for a reason. A god damn good reason. But as the song continued to play, the few tears before-hand were you keeping it together.

Somebody’s gonna take you in

Gonna make you love again,

Gonna make you like the way it feels

When they’re under your skin

Holding back the emotions was futile at this point, tears streaming down your face as you silently cried. You had never felt the way you had felt with her in these last two nights with anybody, not even your child’s father. Your arms became crossed over your chest as you tried to catch your breath. You had an overwhelming feeling of regret. Why did you have to send her away? Why couldn’t you have figured something, anything out?

Never once do you think they’ll lie

When they’re holding you

The wonder why they haven’t called,

When they said they’d call you.

All you wanted was to sleep. To close your eyes and forget all about her, but even when your lids did find solace, all you could see was her.

Eddie was your world from the moment he opened his eyes, and yet you found yourself craving more. Someone at your side to raise him with you, to be a family. But it wasn’t that simple. You didn’t want to punish him with a parade of individuals that would run the moment it got hard.

Rhea was unbelievable. Everything she did, everything she said. The warmth in her smile, the sweetness in her eyes. But was it enough? As much as you wanted her, could she want this or would your reality be too much for her?

You start to wonder if you’re over gonna make it back.

You’re gonna think you were born blind