Z!

To answer normally. Speak normally. Smile normally. Continue conversations normally. All while your mind feels unbearably loud underneath it all.

And after a while, there can be this desperate feeling of wanting someone to finally see it. Not because you want to be dramatic or difficult, but because trying to explain intense emotional pain calmly over and over again while nobody fully understands starts becoming exhausting in its own way.

Sometimes you start thinking, “would people only realize how bad it is if I completely fell apart in front of them?”

And then immediately comes the guilt for even thinking that.

The shame.

The “am I just attention seeking?” thoughts.

But honestly, I think a lot of people only call themselves attention seeking when what they actually mean is:

“I want someone to notice I am struggling without me having to reach a breaking point first.”

And that is such a deeply human thing to want.

Human beings are not meant to carry emotional pain completely alone and silently forever. Wanting comfort does not make you manipulative. Wanting to be understood does not make you selfish.

Sometimes it just means you have been holding too much inside for too long.

And if you relate to this, I really hope you know your pain does not need to become catastrophic before it deserves care.

You do not have to prove how badly you are hurting in the most visible way possible before you are allowed softness and support.

You are already deserving of gentleness while you are still holding yourself together.

You are already worthy of someone listening before things become unbearable.

To answer normally. Speak normally. Smile normally. Continue conversations normally. All while your mind feels unbearably loud underneath it all.

And after a while, there can be this desperate feeling of wanting someone to finally see it. Not because you want to be dramatic or difficult, but because trying to explain intense emotional pain calmly over and over again while nobody fully understands starts becoming exhausting in its own way.

Sometimes you start thinking, “would people only realize how bad it is if I completely fell apart in front of them?”

And then immediately comes the guilt for even thinking that.

The shame.

The “am I just attention seeking?” thoughts.

But honestly, I think a lot of people only call themselves attention seeking when what they actually mean is:

“I want someone to notice I am struggling without me having to reach a breaking point first.”

And that is such a deeply human thing to want.

Human beings are not meant to carry emotional pain completely alone and silently forever. Wanting comfort does not make you manipulative. Wanting to be understood does not make you selfish.

Sometimes it just means you have been holding too much inside for too long.

And if you relate to this, I really hope you know your pain does not need to become catastrophic before it deserves care.

You do not have to prove how badly you are hurting in the most visible way possible before you are allowed softness and support.

You are already deserving of gentleness while you are still holding yourself together.

You are already worthy of someone listening before things become unbearable.

Or maybe I end up laid out across his lap, my stomach stretched and my shirt ever so slightly lifted, showing the tiniest bit of my stomach. He lightly grazes the sliver of skin that’s revealed and I don’t protest. My stomach twitches but I lay there and let him lightly tickle me, slowly being driven a little crazy by the constant sensation. He eventually lifts the shirt a little and plays around with my bellybutton, lazily. I’m squirming a tad but it isn’t enough for me to want to actually stop him, though I playfully reach my hands out to grab his.

There’s something really peaceful about letting someone have access to me and trusting that they won’t betray the quietness of the moment. That we can just lay there and be in a zen state with a smile plastered on my face and a giggle slipping out or an occasional flinch, but continuing to let a ler have whatever access they want.

Odd number for tickle questions, even number for non-tickle questions.

For lees, is your most ticklish spot your favorite spot to be tickled? For lers, is your favorite spot the lee's most ticklish spot?

What would be your choice for your last meal?

Have you ever had a "tickle crush"?

What's a good way to start a conversation with you?

On a scale of 1-10, how intense do you like to tickle or be tickled?

If you had to listen to three pieces of music for the rest of your life, which three works would you choose?

How does tickling make you feel?

If you could become fluent in one language, which one would you choose?

If you have lee/ler mood and no way to tickle or be tickled, how do you try to satisfy your mood?

What is an interest of yours that you wish were more popular with people?

Fill in the blank: Tickling and _ go best together.

If you had the opportunity to meet your younger 10-year-old self, what message would you share?

Is there a tickling fantasy or scenario that you've always wanted to experience?

What is your go-to music when you want to feel happy?

What made you create your Tumblr blog?

What's one thing you are really good at? What's one thing you want to be really good at?

For lees, what kind of lee are you? For lers, what kind of ler are you?

What is an unpopular thing that you actually like?

Tickle fights, yes or no?

If money were not a concern, what would your ideal vacation look like?

Do you get flustered by tickle scenes in movies or TV shows?

If you could only watch one TV show for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?

For lees, what kind of ler do you like? For lers, what kind of lee do you like?

Give yourself a compliment!

For lees, are you in lee mood right now? If so, what kind of lee mood is it? For lers, are you in ler mood right now? If so, what kind of ler mood is it?

Give the person who asked this a compliment!

What is the ideal number of lers?

Do you like spicy food?

Link a post that made you flustered.

Do you have a favorite poem? If so, what is it?

For lees, do you have fictional characters you'd want to be tickled by? For lers, do you have fictional characters you'd want to tickle?

If you had to choose three movies to watch for your entire life, which three would you choose?

Share a popular opinion on tickling you have.

Share a line of lyrics that you like.

Share an unpopular opinion on tickling you have.

If you had to move to another country, which country would you choose?

Spontaneous tickles, or a planned session?

Share a line from a book that you like.

How well can you say the word "tickle"?

Finding out for the first time my elbows ticklish, my ears are ticklish, my neck, genitals, sides of my face and sometimes head scratches I never knew how sensitive I was

Even regular spots that didn’t get tickled before it’s so intimate to let someone see the vulnerable submissive side of me

No else knows other than ppl reading this and him LOL

He always makes fun of me, of how sensitive everywhere