Mr. Self Destruct 💣

Hey! Long time, no see/talk? I’ve been hanging in there. Lots of ups and downs. I actually sent you a message on Instagram in like July I think? Lol I don’t know if you ever got it. How about yourself??

Well it’s time to wake up And separate feelings That I keep falling into Each seem like good reasons That I feel I'm gonna’ break down I don't care if it shows up I'm praying this for you Until it turns it all safe

There's only now, no ever after We won't let it end in disaster You are my twin-- no, I will never go there

I don't think any amount of closure could ever bring me peace, anyway.

Preach it, Bojack...

The rest is all a blur.

I don’t know. I’m sorry. This is the only way I knew how to do it. I try and struggle, in and out with it. Everyday offers new difficulties, new ways to remind me. Seven weeks later and I have no idea where I am in your house with heart-shaped windows, I can only hope it’s a room you’re closer to than I realize & if it’s not, I’ll simply pray; pray to what/whoever wants to listen. I sit here and talk indirectly about it, as you do to me; probably hoping one of us will finally reach out and talk to the other, offer a shoulder to cry on at least-- something. Maybe not though.. that’s why I get so scared, and tremble at my keyboard wanting to do it myself, but in fear I hold myself back. My insecurities kick me so hard while I’m down and leave me so disarranged that I don’t even know what to do; risk upsetting you or stay in the dark? And I’m too scared of having one on top of the other. At least in solitude I can say I never aided in your grief. But damn I don’t know how many more of these sleepless nights thinking about you I can go through...

If only it weren’t so damn true.

Daron Malakian

“I’m dreaming! I’m screaming! Someone kick me out of my mind! I hate these thoughts, I can’t deny...”

— Angela Orosco; Silent Hill 2

“And I can't stop starin' at the back of your neck And you think you can make me love again I swear that I will never feel a thing Hollow shell, quiet hell-- but you're so into me Screaming "Why, don't you love me back!?"