자야

“Lastly, Yeon Sieun with…” your teacher’s voice echoes across the quiet classroom, snapping you out of your daydream.

You hear your name getting called out by your teacher, indicating the grouping.

Your class was assigned with a presentation, submitted by two people.

You turn to Sieun who’s sitting a couple of desks away from you, despite him not returning your gaze. He seems careless about who he’s grouped with.

Your friend nudges your side before whispering how lucky you are to be grouped with a “nerd”. You look at his tense back one last time before focusing back to your class.

The rest of the class blurs by. When the bell finally rings, you take a breath and head straight towards him.

Sieun’s gaze is glued to his textbook, earbuds in, completely in his own world. You sigh, thinking he is going to frustrate you from his lack of communication.

You tap your knuckles on his desk, hesitant at first.

His head shifts slightly, turning towards your hand. Then slowly, he takes both his earbuds off, putting it to his pocket. His eyes flick up from the page, waiting for you to speak. You take a deep breath before speaking up, keeping your voice friendly.

“Hi. Sorry for interrupting. I am your group partner. When and where should we meet for the project?”

He checks his watch, then speaks up, his tone coming out neutral, lacking any kind of emotion.

“Meet me at the school library at 6 p.m.”

You give a reassuring nod, then you leave to lunch.

—

Weeks pass. The meetings stretch longer, your notes turning into small talks, then quiet laughter between pages.

You start realizing how similar you are, enabling a friendship to form between you two.

Despite his occasional bugging, you could say.

You do like him as a friend, but sometimes he is too much.

“Why didn’t you call me back?”

“When are you going to be free?”

“You never spare time for me.”

“Who was that guy? Are you replacing me?”

Each question came laced with worry, but you told yourself it was harmless. He didn’t have many friends; you thought he just needed someone to rely on.

Until it became too much. Until the air around him started to feel heavy, leading into putting a distance between you and him. And he did not like that.

—

When the class bell rings, you’re the first to move. You pack up quickly, hoping to slip out before Sieun can corner you again. But as you stand, your pencil case slips from your hand and clatters to the floor, the sound filling the quiet classroom. You bend down to collect your scattered pens, but then, a shadow falls over you.

A pair of shoes. Familiar. Too familiar.

Your fingers freeze mid-reach. You slowly look up, meeting his eyes. Eyes that watch you intensely, like you’re a puzzle he can’t solve.

Everyone else is gone. Just you, and him, and the echo of the bell fading down the hall.

“Hey, Sieun.” Your voice comes out lighter than you feel. “What’s up?”

You straighten up slowly as you force a smile; friendly, harmless, but it doesn’t reach your eyes.

He speaks up with a cold demeanor, tilting his head to the side while narrowing his eyes.

“I feel like you’re avoiding me.” His tone is flat, but the edge in it makes your pulse quicken.

You spurt out a nervous laugh.

“What? Me? Don’t be ridiculous.”

He studies you, his gaze flickers over your face, catching your sign of unease.

“Then come over today. Let’s spend some time together.”

He takes a step towards you, caging you between him and your desk. You can smell his perfume, that faint citrus you used to like. It makes your chest tighten. He speaks up again, his voice lowering a few octaves.

“I missed you.”

For a heartbeat, everything stands still; the air, the room, even your breath.

When he notices your hesitation, he softens his tone, the kind that slides into apologies without actually saying the word.

“We can study for the midterm; I’ll help you plentifully.”

You purse your lips, and after a few beats of silence pass between you two, you speak up.

“Alright, I could use some help.”

⸻

You place your textbooks on Sieun’s desk, waiting for him to prepare you a tea he insisted on. Your ears catch the faint sound of clattering utensils coming from the kitchen, then his footsteps follow.

When Sieun enters, he keeps his gaze on the mugs as he takes slow steps. You hum as you smell the faint lavender, thanking him after he places your mug in front of you.

You show him some of your questions, listening intently as he explains. When you take a generous amount of sip from the tea he prepared, you notice the way his irises gleam. Your eyebrows furrow slightly, unease blooming in your chest from the way he was acting.

He was quiet, but this time it felt different.

It was like he was studying you, your expression, the rise of your chest as you fill your lungs with air, the way your eyelids closed over your eyes.

It felt absurd, but you shrug it off, or at least tried to.

When you gulp the last bit of your tea, you feel a pang of headache, wincing as your brows tighten.

Sieun’s gaze flickers over your expression, speaking with feigned affection.

“Are you alright?”

You rub your temples, trying to ease the pain.

“Yeah, I—" You cut yourself off as you feel a wave of dizziness wash over you. You shut your eyes for a moment, weakly attempting to gather yourself as your mind whirls with panic, you were about to faint.

You hear Sieun’s fading voice as his hand comes up to your shoulder, steadying you to stay upright. You turn your gaze to him despite your darkening vision.

He was grinning. It was slight, hard to catch, but it was there. You frown deepens, and before you can reason his evident smile, the world goes completely dark.

⸻

When you regain your consciousness, your eyelids slowly flicker, adjusting to the dim lighting. A shiver runs through your body with the feeling of exposure to the chill of the night, like you had no sense of defense towards it.

You feel the bed dip, from another weight that didn’t belong to you.

You stir, quickly turning your gaze to the figure that is sitting on your bed.

“Sieun, what are you—"

Your head throbs, causing you to let out a wince. The air around you felt heavy and you felt dizzy, like you haven’t slept for days.

Unease blooms in your chest when you feel your hands below your resting back— you couldn’t move them. It takes you seconds to realize your hands were bound together, and when you look down, your eyes open wide.

You were exposed, left in nothing but your underwear. You try to sit up as panic whirls inside you, but your body refuses to do so.

While you try to reason why your body felt so heavy, Sieun speaks up, his voice low,

“You shouldn’t have ignored me, baby.” His hand came next, cupping your cheek with a false affection. You feel his thumb roll lightly against your skin.

You furrow your brows as your heart pounds against your ribcage, you realize you don’t even have the strength to pull away from his hand. You force yourself to speak, your voice spurting out raspy, laced with venom.

“What the hell is wrong with you—” Your voice falters, “Get away from me.”

His irises gleam with annoyance against your rejection as you feel his hand slightly twitch against your cheek.

He narrows his eyes, his gaze trailing down your body. You shift uncomfortably, being unable to cover yourself driving you wild.

His hand on your cheek slowly trails down, his fingers wrapping around your neck. He presses lightly, too light to choke you, but to warn you.

He leans closer towards your face before speaking up with a scowl on his lips, “Don’t test my patience. Be a good girl, or I’ll make you.”

Your breath hitches when you feel his hand cup your breast. He closes the distance between you and him, kissing you with frustration. He darts his tongue over your lips, and when you refuse him, he increases the pressure around your throat, forcing your lips to part. You feel him push his tongue inside your mouth as he pinches your nipple through your bra, making you let out a whimper.

Sieun pulls back, panting. He narrows his eyes on your features; your swollen lips, flushed cheeks, teary eyes. You breathe heavily, staying awake felt like a battle that you were going to lose. He grins slightly, knowing that the drug he had given you was working, igniting something darker in him.

He reaches for your panties, and without giving you a chance to react, he discards it. His index and middle finger reach to your kiss-bruised lips, parting them slightly.

“Open.”

You don’t find the strength to defy him, giving him access to push his fingers inside your mouth. He presses against your tongue, making you gag, letting out an approving hum.

After you wet his fingers, he trails them down to your folds, tracing your entrance teasingly. He speaks up, his voice breathy,

“You’re wet. It doesn’t seem like you hate this.”

You shake your head weakly, looking away from him to fixate your focus on anything but his ministrations. He frowns before intruding his fingers inside with a quick motion, eliciting a loud gasp from you. You clench your tied fists as he sets a rhythm, circling your sensitive bud in quick motions.

You feel your stomach coil as you dig your nails inside your palm. You screamed internally to not feed the unwanted pleasure Sieun provided— until he discovered a spot that made you moan out load. He lets out a reassuring hum as you hold yourself back, a last futile attempt to dissatisfy him.

But when he pinches your clit, you throw your head back with a moan, cursing under your breath as you clench around his fingers, wetting them with your release. He rides out your orgasm slowly before retreating his fingers, the loss of him making you let out a whine.

Without wasting any second, he reaches for your restraints and loosens them, your hands falling to your sides.

While you come down from your high with rigged pants, Sieun gets rid of his clothing and approaches your exhausted sprawled body. His hands grip your thighs, parting them slowly knowing that you had little to no strength left to resist him.

When you feel him graze his tip against your hole you whine, blurting out a ‘No’ which goes unheard. His eyes trail to your face, looking at you affectionately— almost like a lover. Almost like you were a couple, and this was an intimate moment laced with love.

You hear him groan as he slowly pushes inside, stretching you to his size. You cry out, accommodating to him drawing a pang of pain. His grip loosens from your thigh and trails up to your cheek, his thumb wiping away a tear that was streaming down your cheek. He rests his hand there momentarily, proceeding to stroke your hair.

Then, you see him smile. For the first time. You remember your failed attempts of making your friend smile heartedly.

He looked the happiest while he was buried inside you, looking at you warmly, while you took him without a choice.

Sieun sets an unsteady pace, his inexperience showed in the way his hips stuttered.

He lets out a grunt, his gaze roaming around every corner of your exposed body before he speaks up with rigged breaths.

“You feel so good, exactly how I imagined.”

He picks up his pace, chasing his release,

“Should’ve done this way earlier, before you decided to put on a stupid stunt.”

You feel Sieun’s hands grip your waist, pulling you towards himself, getting rougher by the second as he whimpers.

“Now you know what happens if you disappoint me, don’t you?”

Your eyes widen when you feel him twitch inside you, panic whirling inside your head, he was about to finish inside of you.

He lets out a curse, his head falling forward slightly.

You try to retreat yourself, but to no avail from the way his fingers gripped your waist. They were tight in a way that would bruise you the next day.

Before you can protest further, Sieun’s tongue rolls out your name with a moan, warmness flooding your insides.

You whine with quickened breaths, your eyelids flickering as you frown with exhaustion. He pulls out slowly, his gaze flickering towards his leaking release from your folds.

Then he looks up at you, in a warmth that you didn’t search for from him.

He pats your hair as he smiles once more, and he whispers through the dim light;

Was the video game really better than his girlfriend?

You had been thinking of the perfect counter tactic to get back Jihoon’s attention as you sat, curled up in his lap. There was one thing that should be foolproof: kisses. If you reminded Jihoon of what he had been missing out on for the past several days, eventually he would realize that he’d much rather spend his time kissing his lovely girlfriend than playing some dumb shooting game.

You had started 2 minutes ago, conservatively kissing the back of his hand just to test out the waters. You didn’t get much of a reaction from that, just a subtle smile that might as well have been from the game. You started to get a little more daring as your patience ran thin, pressing multiple kisses to his cheek which seemed to distract him enough to protest. 

“Stop, baby, I’m about to get a highscore-“ 

You contemplated just waiting for him to stop playing on his own, or at least finish the round since he was so close to beating his personal record. But that thought vanished after about 2 seconds, and you proceeded to kiss his cheek again and scold your brain for the silly thought. 

Patience wasn’t the answer for this situation. Or, at least it wasn’t the answer that you liked. It wasn’t like you were harming him— in fact, it was known that Jihoon was more addicted to kisses than you in the relationship. Besides, you had already been patient for over a week. And now Jihoon’s pretty lips were right in front of you. There was no reason why you should hold back.

He dug his head further into the hood of his hoodie to try to make it harder for you to access face. Though he was subtle with it, you still caught onto his every move. The fact that he was now actively trying to evade you excited you, because it meant he was close to breaking. 

Though his face was now unobtainable to you, with a little craning of your head, you managed to access his neck to give him yet another kiss. This is what finally got him to break. You watched in satisfaction as he switched off his phone, still 2 minutes away from finishing his round.

“You’re teasing me on purpose, aren’t you?” He muttered, giving you a knowing look, though his lips were lifting into a small smile.

“How else was I supposed to get your attention off the game?” You asked with a giggle.

“I lost the game because of you.” He whispered, pulling you closer to his chest by your hips and giving you his first kiss, one on the cheek.

“Are you mad about it?” 

“Mmh, I’m very upset, baby.” He said, a hint of sarcasm in his tone.

“You don’t seem very upset, though?” You caught onto his lie with a smile, and kissed his nose softly. He scrunched it up in response and pressed his lips together stubbornly. 

He didn’t say anything else, silently admitting that he wasn’t really mad at all. His hand slid up to your cheek and he gently pulled your face closer to his, meeting his soft lips with yours after what had felt like an eternity. He let the kiss last long enough to satisfy both of you, and by the time he pulled away, you were both slightly out of breath.

You frowned despite the butterflies that he had summoned in your stomach, “Did you film kiss scenes for the drama?”

His eyes widened slightly, “No! No. There’s no kissing in this drama.” He quickly defended.

You raised an eyebrow in skepticism, “It’s a fantasy romance drama, Jihoon.”

His lips formed an ‘o’ shape as his brain quickly thought of his next lie, “It was a stunt double that filmed those scenes.” 

You laughed at his awful attempt at pretending like he was innocent. Teasing your boyfriend never failed to entertain you. You were perfectly confident in your boyfriend’s loyalty to you, and were quite sure that every on screen kiss was only acting and nothing else, but you still loved to bring it up every once and a while.

“Does she kiss as well as I do?” You asked finally, biting back a amused smile.

“Not even close.” He responded, and you could feel the sincerity from his shiny eyes.

“Just making sure.” You smiled, leaning down to reconnect your lips again. Jihoon was like a dream to kiss. His lips were soft and gentle, and each time he pressed them to yours you felt your heart swell. Each kiss was like a soft reminder of how much you loved him.