hm honestly i will never forgive the pope's exorcist for giving us a character that struggles so much with the different versions and ideas of love and his destiny as a servant of god and not doing anything with that premiss. i would have killed for some scenes of father esquibel actually questioning his faith and not just how good of a priest he is. i wanted him to actually think about if this is what he wants in life or if the love of god maybe isn't the way he needs to choose like he always thought. he seems like such a loving person and i never really got how easily he got over the fact that there are maybe other versions of life out there for him especially when you see how harsh he is with himself. like i wanted him to struggle and find his truth but the writers really did not give him the time to blossom and instead made it seem like the woman he was with was a simply mistake, a fault in human nature even though the whole conversation could have been so much more nuanced and thoughtful than it was. because he really seems to believe (or even know) that there are other things out there for him and maybe other paths he must choose but he can't seem to find the courage to try them for himself out of fear that he will not be who his past self thought he has to be in order to be worthy of some gods love.
