One of the best parallels between Misty and Lottie lies in how both can be understood through the lens of pathological altruism. Their āhelpingā often appears selfless on the surface, but is driven by unmet psychological needs for validation, belonging, and purpose, and ultimately causes harm to both themselves and others.
Both Misty and Lottieās caregiving tendencies do have elements of genuine concern for the wellbeing of those around them, but there are deeper roots in how this behavior becomes a mechanism for healing and disproving their own internal deficits. The act of helping others provides them with something they otherwise lack (identity, validation, and a sense of belonging) and they will go to extreme, disastrous lengths to maintain this need fulfillment. They donāt have a sense of self-worth on their own, they need to seek it out through external sources.
Misty and Lottie are both driven by chronic loneliness, social alienation, and a deeply internalized sense of self-rejection. The plane crash offers them both their first experience of belonging, as the Wilderness provides Lottie with an outlet for deep, spiritual connection with others and validation for all of her traits she once viewed as illness, and the life-threatening environment (and Mistyās medical knowledge) makes Misty suddenly indispensable and valuable to others in a way sheās never been before. They are both needed, and they are both an essential and valued part of a community. Itās a euphoric feeling for both of them, and both become willing to manipulate, coerce, and violate others in pursuit of the intoxicating feeling of belonging.
Misty and Lottieās sense of purpose, identity, and belonging are structurally dependent on the vulnerability of the people around them. Mistyās connection to people relies on them being physically or situationally incapacitated, which creates a dynamic where she is needed and therefore cannot be abandoned. Lottieās connection relies on emotional vulnerability, on others being desperate, searching, and open enough to submit to her meaning-making and spiritual framework. In both cases, care and control become entangled. In the wilderness, this most obviously shown through Mistyās dynamic with Coach Ben and Lottieās dynamic with Travis.
After the rescue, both women attempt to recreate the euphoria they experienced in the wilderness, still relying on the vulnerability of others to access it. They gravitate toward roles that place them in positions of inherent power over people in need. Misty becomes a nurse for the elderly, one of the most vulnerable populations, allowing her to continue fulfilling her need to be needed while exerting control, which at times crosses into elder abuse. Lottie becomes a cult leader who is worshipped by a group of extremely emotionally vulnerable people isolated from their families (and has control over their finances, personal records, and mental wellbeing as a spiritual figure to them).
The tragedy of both characters is that their desire to help is, at its core, sincere. They truly believe they are caring for others. But because that altruism is rooted in a need to secure their own self-worth, it becomes distorted. If the opportunity to help disappears, so does the fragile structure holding their identity together. In this way, their pathological altruism becomes self-destructive as well, harming not only those around them but also themselves, as they pour everything into others in a desperate attempt to sustain a sense of purpose until there is nothing left of them.
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