Zouk's Home Runs

Guys. Guys. Guys. You're right to applaud. That was a home run.

Here's my pitch, ready? It's Schwarzenegger and it's Emma Thompson, okay? He gets pregnant, and has the baby at the end of act 1, that baby: Danny Devito. Now what we've got is Danny Devito in a diaper, running around like crazy, he's all misshapen and troll-like because of the drug, so we believe it. The drug caused him to be more advanced, he's totally verbal, and you watch the C-section happen where he comes out of Arnold's stomach like an alien chest-burster or whatever, or in that episode of It's Always Sunny when he emerged naked from the sofa, it's just like that only pretend that's Arnold's belly, and that's it! That's the movie: a straight-laced scientist and a womanizing man trying to raise a monster baby, played by Danny Devito. HOME. RUN. MOVIE. Eat shit.

Paul Scheer: (To audience member) Your name, your title for Rhinestone, and your question

Did everybody get fans? Fuckin' home run. Does that say 'probiotic' on it? Wait, are we distributing fans for a probiotic drink? Is this what's happening? Isn't this to like make you regular or something? Isn't this for shitting?

Roadhouse

I bought that in Palm Springs, thought I was going to wear it to the pool as a hilarious joke. Did not wear it. Became very self-conscious when I put it on, then I was like "nope".

How Did This Get Made #65