ZosaLand

“hey can you please…”

They tell you love is magic. They tell you that the right person will make your heart do so many backflips that it feels as if it’s ripping it’s way out of your chest. They tell you that he will make you feel so much all at once- things you didn’t think it was possible to feel. They tell you that it feels as if a piece of yourself you didn’t know was missing suddenly found its way home. But they don’t tell you what happens when it ends. They don’t tell you that sometimes he’ll walk away, leaving you behind as if you were nothing, just a crumpled up gum wrapper thrown on the floor. They don’t tell you that your backflipping heart will fall flat on its face and end up in a million pieces all over the floor. They don’t tell you that those feelings for him won’t go away, but will linger on in a warped and twisted new pattern of longing and heartbreak, making you feel like an empty shell, something worse than death. They don’t tell you that you will spend so many nights with an aching chest and tear-stained pillows, wondering whats so wrong with you that he wasn’t satisfied. They don’t tell you that the first time you see him smile at her it will feel like someone is slowly scooping out your insides with a teaspoon, and you’ll be wondering why your body isn’t a crumbled heap on the ground along with your heart. They don’t tell you that you’ll spend many more nights wondering why he had to pick her, and what she has that you don’t. And most deceptive of all, they don’t tell you that when you see his eyes light up looking at her, all you can think is how glad you are that he’s happy. Because god damn it, you love him, and you would smash your own heart with a hammer for all eternity to see him smile.

I hate not knowing whether the love I feel for you is genuine or if it’s just my lonely heart desperately seeking shelter from the storm.