mortisJW

hi so i made a few flags for some things i experience but idk if its really necessary for myself cause i dont like labels. but here it is for anybody who feels the same and would like a flag !

i call this first one melodium, but its a weird name so it's subject to change. its kind of like conceptum (non-tangible objectum) but specifically for the sound of music! this (for me) is like a form of synesthesia, where music affects me so viscerally and intensely i would, in a sense, classify it as attraction. it basically translates in my brain as music=pleasing and overwhelming=im in love=get horny now. it's all the colours of the rainbow for all the genres of music, and it's of course to do with music, so it's shaped like a casette tape.

and this is melodium for records/vinyls! hence, vinylum or recordum, again subject to change. same as above but specifically for music played from a vinyl. i find records to be much more tangible forms of music, being that they're physical grooves in a disc that play music. so i feel more strongly about this than the former. and it's shaped like a record because of course it is.

So these are my two cats. The larger normal looking cat is called Morticia, and the other one is Agatha. We got Agatha around three or four years ago now, because she wasn’t getting an awful amount of love in her old home. She used to belong to my friend, whose dad was extremely allergic to cats. I had just lost my own cat, Smokey, a while ago. They noticed me mourning when we went out to see some kittens at a farm, and they were kind enough to let her live with us. Not long after, I had a falling out with that friend, and we haven’t spoken in a long time.

That’s beside the point, though. Agatha was well rested and fed and adored, we loved her to bits. Of course, she’s always been a bit weird. She snorts a lot, more like a piglet than a cat, though that may be normal for shorthair Persians, what with their flat noses. She also tends to bite herself a lot and she’s more scab than fur, no matter how much we flea-treat her or get her checked for scabies or anything else like that. She also eats with her hands. Like, she grabs the food in fistfuls (with her actually opposable thumb) and lifts it into her mouth. I blame the inbreeding. Anyway, yeah. All was fine until she went missing last summer.

Now, the rest of this all may sound a bit weird, for a lot of reasons. Please bear with me.

For about a month, it didn’t really set in how dire the situation was for her. I live pretty close to the centre of my home town — a town that attracts a lot of tourists and traffic. And Agatha was an elderly indoors cat, so she wouldn’t stand a chance out there, let alone last an entire month AND find her way back home. (I would also like to note here that when we adopted her two years previously, we were told she was twelve. And when she went missing we called the previous owners to see if she was chipped and for them to let us know when they get notified if somebody finds her. They then told us her real age; she’s seventeen. This was a really odd thing to lie about, I know, but I digress.) Anyway, I finally did come to terms with the fact that she was gone, and she wasn’t coming back. So I of course despaired and cried for a time, and I thought it would make me feel better if I lit a candle for her. So I did. I’m not really particularly religious, so I didn’t think she was in heaven, and I didn’t pray. I just spoke aloud into the candle for a while about how much I loved her, cried some more, and so on. I wrote an entry in my notes to try and cope as well, timed at 21:40. Then I went downstairs to watch Father Ted (a long-time comfort show of mine) with my little brother. I was starting to wind down, the theme song started playing. Then I heard a meow.

At this point we hadn’t gotten Morty yet, so it obviously wasn’t her. I thought I was just imagining it. I told my brother, he just paused the television and looked at me pitifully. And then we heard it again. We jumped to our feet and I stood hunched in the hall, all my focus was on what little I could hear. I basically went partially blind from focusing so hard that I forgot what to do with my eyes. Again I heard it. It was coming from the bathroom. I ran down the way and cautiously opened the door. And out there, beyond the bathroom window, distorted by the floral tainted glass, there she was. Her tan-coloured, rain-soaked silhouette only partially illuminated by the light from the ceiling. I bolted outside and picked her up and brought her into the kitchen. This and the previous paragraph all went down within the same few hours.

Extremely weird coincidence, I know. Looking back, I have absolutely no idea how the hell she managed it. An extremely old, basically senile cat who had never been outside before somehow managed to survive on foods likely outside her primary diet (two Sheba packets a day, anything else usually doesn’t agree with her,) avoid getting struck by traffic, avoid getting kidnapped, and on top of all that find her way back home, avoid the fox trap we set up, and meow loud enough at just the right time for someone to hear. At the time I was too busy crying tears of joy and endlessly fussing over her to really think about how incredible it was.

I thought I should bring up that she went missing before I tell you what’s happening with her now. It’s been about a year since she went missing. The year previous we adopted a kitten who was far too excitable for Agatha, so we gave the kitten to a friend for a year or so, frequently visiting her and seeing as she matured and calmed down. We got her back a few months after Agatha came back. Said kitten was Morticia. Morticia was, as you can see in the photo provided, a perfectly healthy cat, if a bit overweight. I used to take her out for walks and all, she was entirely equal to Agatha and never gave her much trouble. A mannerly little angel overall. She is now a year and a bit old and, suffice to say, she’s acting up.

At first I thought she was just mirroring Agatha’s behaviour, as she’s the matriarch of the house. But it’s starting to get weird. Down to the whole biting and scabbing thing. She sheds so much you could needle-felt a perfect clone out of her with the fur she loses in a day. Her fur has lost its saturation, it seems almost grey now. And she’s starting to hunch and she’s getting very clumsy. She acts the way that Agatha realistically should. Again, I should clarify, she’s still basically a kitten. Meanwhile, if anything, Agatha’s been better than ever. She’s a lot more demanding, more energetic, she’s less skinny now. It’s gotten to a point where she can sometimes open doors on her own (probably with the aid of her thumbs.) We’re thinking of taking Morticia to a vet, it’s starting to get really worrying.

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Hi. I wrote this as a draft about a week ago and forgot about it. Morticia is no longer with us. She died two days ago. Vets are still baffled as to what was wrong with her. It doesn’t seem to have been a very stressful passing for her, at least. I don’t even really know what to say, it doesn’t do me much good to post about this anymore. I guess if anybody else’s pets are having this happen and somebody knows what it is, please mention it to me, or say something on here. I’d like some closure, and I’m sure it’d help people having similar problems. Agatha is currently the only thing keeping me sane. She seems okay, more content than ever to cuddle. There’s almost an airiness to her, like she’s glowing.

my secondary school formal is on the 6th so i wanted to go all out and embroider my own waistcoat ! what you're seeing is basically the product of me setting up a project far too ambitious for myself (someone with autistic burnout and anxiety), and gradually devolving said project until it was barely manageable. i know this doesn't look like a lot but i had to frog the shit out of this at one point because i realised i didn't like the design lmao

first time posting on tumblr, thought i'd start off strong with some fanart ! this is based on pastraspec's retelling of the jeff the killer creepypasta, which is by far my favourite take on the story, and it got me back into creepypastas and 2000s to mid-2010s horror so thats great. i cant reccomend giving it a read on @pastraspec's blog or listening to the radio(?) play on youtube highly enough