Free write ep.1
Dont want to anymore. No more no more. Always the mediator. No more no more. Dont want to help you. No more no more. Dont want to worry for you. No more no more.
Im tired so tired. I want to be me. Too much chaos- the buzz. The buzzing must stop. Cant think through the noise the noise.
Patience is thin, temper is short. Why must i dance for you. A puppet on strings- who must also play puppeteer?
Limbs so heavy and tired, moving on their own -by command, by necessity. Without a puppeteer the strings entangle- a dysfunctional mess- skewed to no end. The puppets fall - crumble- to the bottom of the stage.
Unless a puppeteer takes hold. To untangle the tattered mess before its too late, to keep them moving forward. Otherwise they could destroy themselves.
But i can only be one. Puppeteer or puppet- director or actor. When i lead them (keep them from falling). When i guide them (keep them from fighting) My puppet lays still- silent, unmoving and unmotivated. An empty shell, a hollowed husk, for i am needed elsewhere.
I want to worry for me. For once for once. I want to help me. For once for once. I want my puppet to dance and move and sway.
Not because it has to
But because
it wants to.
