"...real love has constant moments of absolute freshness, as if you've only just fallen, the realisation always exciting, always absorbing."
Page 87, The Magic Cottage, James Herbert.
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@zoeunleashed
"...real love has constant moments of absolute freshness, as if you've only just fallen, the realisation always exciting, always absorbing."
Page 87, The Magic Cottage, James Herbert.

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âEvery loss is unprecedented. You canât ever know someone elseâs hurt, not really - just like touching someone elseâs body isnât the same as having someone elseâs body.â
Page 174, Turtles All The Way Down, John Green
âI wouldâve told her that Davis and I never talked much, or even looked at ease other, but it didnât matter, because we were looking at the same sky together, which is maybe more intimate than eye contact anyway. Anyone can look at you. Itâs quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see.â
John Green, Page 9, Turtles All The Way Down
âThe thing about a spiral is, if you follow it inward, it never actually ends. It just keeps tightening, infinitely.â
John Green, Page 7, Turtles All The Way Down
I wish more people thought like this and realised what itâs doing to people.

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I've spent hours obsessing over why I'm not good enough. Hours lost, standing in front of the mirror, studying my face and wondering if it's because I'm not pretty enough. Reading back old conversations and wondering if I'm annoying, too needy, too much. Will anyone ever stick around? I try so hard, but I'm just never worth it in the end.
broken thoughts | 2am
How can I call myself a Gryffindor when I have such low self esteem and confidence at times?
âCause I believe And I believe âcause I can see Our future days Days of you and me

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The Last Of Us Part II
I played and finished The Last Of Us Part II last week and it has been on my mind ever since. I obviously understand that a lot of people have problems with this game, and thatâs okay. Iâm not here to change anyoneâs views on the game or anything, I just want to kind of write down my opinions and takeaways as, again, itâs been on my mind since finishing it lol. Nobody may see this and this will mean nothing, thatâs fine.Â
Anyway, this post will contain SPOILERS
My Overall Thoughts
Iâm not entirely sure how to structure this so I guess Iâll just start with a broad statement lol; I loved The Last Of Us Part II. In my opinion, itâs a beautiful and well-crafted story about loss, grief and consequences, with how each of these things affect different people.Â
DiscussionÂ
From what Iâve seen, I see a lot of people hating on this game for its handling of Joel and the decision to have the player play as Joelâs murderer, Abby. Iâve also seen a lot of people say that the message is as simple and plain as âviOleNcE iS bAdâ, but I personally think itâs so much more than that.
The Last Of Us Part II doesnât just tell you that violence is bad, but it shows you the ramifications of it by dealing with the emotional toll as well as the consequences on not just the main person involved, but their loved ones too.
As we all know, at the start of the game, Joel is brutally killed by Abby and we go with Ellie on a mission to avenge him by killing everybody involved. We see it all from Ellieâs point of view, hardheartedly seeing Abby as the villain as she just killed the character that we know and love as we have an emotional connection to him after the first game. His death is supposed to make you feel angered. Itâs not like youâre supposed to be joyed by it. His death scene left me feeling empty and sick, wanting revenge alongside Ellie.Â
However, as the game goes on, we start to see the story from Abbyâs point of view. We learn that the doctor that you, the player, had to murder at the end of The Last of Us is actually the father of Abby. This is brilliant. Now we see one of the main themes of the story, consequences, and I was immediately on board. Joel is not a good person, at all. He murdered hundreds of Fireflies and took away the possible cure for humanity for his own personal reasons. This is incredibly selfish, even going to the lengths of lying to Ellie about the events as he knows that it isnât what she would want. Technically, Joel is the villain.
Joel had been through so much, so you may think itâs justified. But the point is, Joel isnât the only person in the world of The Last of Us. Everybody he murders arenât just mindless NPCs, they are people. People with their own problems who have gone through their own share of pain and loss, people with their own loved ones. Such as the doctor, who had Abby, whom he loved very much and Abby the same. So, understandably, she would feel incredibly angry and feel the need for revenge, just the same as Ellie and the player after Joelâs death.
There is now a cycle of revenge. Ellie goes on to kill Abbyâs friends, and so Abby tries to kill Ellie and her friends. Itâs not until Lev talks Abby out of it that the cycle seems to have been âbrokenâ. Abby and Lev put it behind them, however, Ellie cannot and nor can Tommy, which means that the cycle is not broken. Ellie continues her hunt for revenge, thinking itâs still what she needs. Just as sheâs about to murder Abby, she sees itâs completely useless.
Here Iâm going to talk about another core theme of the story: loss. As Ellie is about to kill Abby, she realises that Joel is gone. Completely gone, and killing Abby is not going to change that. She now has Lev, and if Ellie was to kill Abby, Lev would only lose Abby, leaving him in the same situation Ellie was in at the start of the game, which in turn means Ellie is becoming what she set out to kill. Itâs no use. Revenge only causes more pain and loss. This cycle is so vicious and nobody wins, and Abby realised this once she found Lev, and found that revenge is a futile thing that does not achieve anything, especially not bringing back her dead friends. She managed to break the cycle herself, and in turn, she found a life worth living, a live with Lev. However, Ellie could not manage this, choosing to still seek revenge.
Because of this, she faces the consequences. She loses all of her loved ones. She loses Dina, she loses Jesse and she loses her baby son, JJ. Tommy is the same too. Tommy couldnât break the cycle, and he loses his wife, Maria. And guess what, Joel is still gone. All of that loss, yet Joel is still dead. Itâs all been for nothing. Ellie is now completely alone, which is what she said she was scared of in the first game, all because of revenge. The way forward is not anger, rage or revenge, but acceptance and love. Thatâs my takeaway.
You may think this treatment of Joel and Ellie is âdisrespectfulâ, but I disagree. In the first game, you do a lot of bad things as these characters. Yeah, you go through a lot of pain, but so has everybody else, yet they still face the unfavorable consequences. It only makes sense that Joel and Ellie would too. In my opinion, this only helps to build the world of The Last of Us and show that just because Joel and Ellie are the main characters, they arenât invincible, and the world doesnât revolve around them. They just happen to be two people who live in the world amongst so many others, which for me, makes it so much more realistic. This is emphasised in the incredible detail in the gameplay of each enemy having names, with other enemies interacting with eachother as you stalk them. It makes them feel so much more real and only increased my enjoyability.
From a story like this, which is so dark and gritty, I donât expect a happy ending. Youâre not supposed to like Ellie by the end of this story, as she serves as the example of why the cycle of revenge is horrible. Youâre not supposed to feel satisfied by it, youâre supposed to feel empty, hurt and sad. That is literally the point.Â
You have to realise that The Last Of Us is a piece of artistic storytelling told and made by artists. It would have been so easy for Neil Druckmann to write a boring and two-dimensional story to appease players and make bank. But he didnât. He chose to craft an intricate, heavy and creative direction for his material, and I hugely respect that. At the end of the day, he doesnât owe you anything. This is his story, and these are his characters, he can do what he wants with them. If you donât like his creative vision, then great! You donât have to. If you donât like something, just donât play/watch/read it. If you loved the first game but hated the second, then just pretend it doesnât exist and come up with your own fanfiction for these characters, it probably wouldnât have been as good as this.
A lot of people blame âbad writingâ when they donât like something. Thereâs a difference between feeling bad about something than it being bad writing, you know. Just because it wasnât what you wanted, doesnât mean the writing is bad. By you feeling angry about Joel dying, Neil Druckmannâs writing has accomplished its objective. And Iâm not trying to say that everybody who doesnât like this game didnât like it because their fanfiction didnât come true. You cannot like this game solely because you donât like the direction it took, and thatâs fine. Because again, this story is a piece of artistic storytelling, and art is subjective.
This entire post is just my opinion. I personally loved this story and these characters, and it was exactly what I wanted to get out of this game. Everything about the game I just adored. I loved the plot, the writing, the characters, the gameplay, the music, the visuals, the performances - everything. And if you didnât, then great. Thatâs your opinion. It just hurts me to see so many people dismissing the incredible things achieved in this game solely because of one plot point. I donât know. As I said, Iâm not trying to change your opinion or anything, I just thought Iâd share mine.
I only scratched the surface of my thoughts and opinions on this game. I could talk about it for hours, which only goes to show the extent of its achievements and how incredible it really is. I doubt anybody is reading this and thatâs fine, apologies if none of what I said made any sense at all lol, Iâm awful at articulating my opinions aha. Â
Elsa and the Nokk on a snowy day â
âŞEveryone is going through a hard time. Not everyone knows how to deal with it. Or support others at these times, in the right way. Everyone is going through something you may not understandâŹ. You may fuck up. Thatâs it.
5/5/2020
buckyâs face im crying

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The whole kitchen with its island
Washer and Dryer
Kitchen looks over the lounge and dining table
2 large cupboards opposite the kitchen island
Fully kitted out kitchen
Small table area next to front door
   Just a little photo post with our accommodation at Orlando Sunshine Resort.
It is located on International drive. Next door to Fun Spot. Great location in my opinion, so quick and easy to get to Universal Orlando Resort. Then so quick to get to I-4 to get on the road down to Disney World. Due to where it is on I drive I found it was quicker and easier to get to both Parks than when staying further south on I Drive.
We spent our first week at this resort in November 2018. In a two bedroom suite. It was fantastic. At first I thought the bath/shower connected to the master bedroom was odd, but it was cool and worked out fine.
The bed in the master bedroom was so comfy and a great size. All the bedding was nice too, felt great after a long tiring day at the parks. We had loads of room, a full kitchen with all the appliances and utensils needed. There was a utility room with washer and dryer. A large bathroom area with jacuzzi bath in the master bedroom, with a separate WC attached. Another full bathroom, a dining area with large table, balcony, lounge and ample storage.
Our view from the balcony was overlooking the pool, but it did get noisy in the daytime with music playing, but nothing too disturbing. From the second bedroom you could see Fun Spot which was really cool.
Parking was easy and free, plus the place was really easy to find.
In my opinion, itâs one of the best places I have stayed in Orlando, possibly the best, we had lots of space and I was so pleased with the location. I want to go back and stay there again.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
Do you have a favourite place to stay in Orlando? Where should I stay next?
  Orlando 2018 |Accommodation Tour |Orlando Sunshine Resort Bluegreen Vacations Just a little photo post with our accommodation at Orlando Sunshine Resort. It is located on International drive.
This is me, ready for our journey
This is Terry, my partner, youâll see more of him
Here we go! Itâs time. Up early, 3am early. We drove from Devon to London Gatwick. I was lucky enough to have Terry as my driver, and we sure were excited for our trip to Orlando!
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We got to Gatwick in good time so I was able to check out the awesome Harry Potter shop, it was a sign of things to come!! We grabbed a big breakfast in Whetherspoons, accompanied by a fruit cider, because hey we are on holiday.
This may or may not be our plane.
Getting ready for takeoff
We were sat in seat 56 J&K I think
Twister lolly! This blew me away.
We flew in November 2018, so there were some new release films to watch on the plane. I ended up watching DeadPool 2, I then slept as I do on most flights, then watched Mamamia 2. Both movies were a bit of a let down, but the food on the plane was ace and it was an easy pleasant flight.
Landing in Orlando we were made aware that another plane was touching down at the same time, so it could be busy at immigration. And low and behold, it was mega busy, the other flight must have disembarked just before us. We waited at least an hour. I did try to time it but as it is a secure area, you canât have your phones out. By the time we got through past security and to the baggage belts, our luggage had been moved over to the side to make way for another flight. Crazy how long it all took, but it couldnât have been helped.
We collected our hire car, got a little confused with the process as you just take any car in a certain row, and the key is already in the car, then drove via what seemed some back roads, to avoid the tolls, to our accommodation for the first part of the holiday. We checked in at Bluegreen Vacations â Orlando Sunshine Resort, near Funspot on International Drive. A lovely 2 bedroom apartment, you can find out about the accommodation in an upcoming post.
Our next priority was food! So we headed out to Walmart. They already had a giant fake Christmas Tree outside and this was the 10th November! I love exploring the US stores. We had a good look around, got some snacks and supplies for the days ahead. Including Fanta Grape, Pop Tarts and TollHouse Cookie Dough. The essentials of course.
We settled in well and tried to get some rest, but we were so ready for all the adventures we were yet to haveâŚ
Orlando 2018 | Travel Day | Photo Blog Here we go! It's time. Up early, 3am early. We drove from Devon to London Gatwick. I was lucky enough to have Terry as my driver, and we sure were excited for our trip to Orlando!