—full bloom

JAKE: yeah, still at the frat house. stayed here all summer and put in some work at a gym.

JAKE: i tried texting you a few times. guess you were really pissed, huh?

LAUREN: sounds fun.

JAKE: need any help?

JAKE: nah, it's yours. didn't screw around with anyone else on the team.

LAUREN: nope. got my brother coming back with me.

JAKE: you on campus yet?

JAKE: i found one of your softball hoodies in my stuff from last semester. figured you'd want it back.

LAUREN: not til the weekend.

HUNTER: Yes, I am. Thank you. I don't think I see it as a problem, because I can come off as the same way to others. Even when I want them.

HUNTER: I might take you up on that. I'm sure us combined will clear it out the room fairly quickly, anyways. I bet they're aware. Oh? Feel free to send them in my direction if you find them, they sound interesting. And attractive. Is that so? The original appreciate it; you have good taste. No, they definitely don't. Unless they're doing the same thing, themselves. I always thought it was a good idea for roommates to be of the same major.

HUNTER: You give him far too much credit.

LAUREN: I can see that. You're mysterious enough, I can see it being hard to read. I think it's worth paying attention to. But being hot def helps.

LAUREN: That's good. I think so too, we'll keep the glares handy. I'll keep my eyes open for them, might get lucky in the psych department. It's a science of sorts. Or those pre-med types. You're just saying that 'cause I called you the hot prototype. God, I think I'd hate rooming with another film major. It's already a competitive and stressful program and then you've gotta add roommate weirdness in the mix? Passive aggressive fights about assignments /and/ overnight guest etiquette? Yikes.

SEBASTIAN: Seems appropriate for the 20s honestly.

SEBASTIAN: I do my best to avoid ever looking at any of the guys on they hockey team.

LAUREN: Well so long as no one ends up face down in one of the fountains, I'd say we're good.

BRODY: You just do! Oh yeah? And what if I don't want to just deal?

Good, because you don’t wanna try anything with me, I learned a few things from my great-grandma. What pranks did your brothers pull on you that were so bad? It’s a power-trip for them, and a way to hide away their insecurities, I guess; show everyone not to mess with them, by being horrible to other people - the “lower” people. And it’s easy to be horrible to someone who’s got dyslexia and is technically homeless. Dealing with bullies was the least of my problems in high school. 

Hanging out with Ruth from administration will do that to you. Not because she’s letting an underage kid drink! Don’t worry about that, she’s strictly professional. But, I’ve been helping her out as a way to pay back for all of the pranks that I’ve been pulling on the dean, and there have been times where I overheard her conversations with her colleagues, and honestly, she makes wine-tasting events sound so fun! 

Reel it in, Evans. I’m sure you picked up a few tricks enough to be real obnoxious, but I’m not getting sucked into a food prank war. I’m busy and also I’d hate to have to embarrass you with my creative streak. My brother Gabe is a fan of the old school, you know, chocolate covered brussel sprouts, toothpaste Oreos. Sometimes it’s the little shit that’s most annoying. Hmm. More or less, with the power trip. People are assholes and like showing it off, like being shitty to someone who can’t control their circumstances is something to be proud of. Sucks that was your experience.

HUNTER: I've never once got the feeling you were disinterested. I see nothing wrong with playing it a little cool, if that's what you wish to do.

HUNTER: I haven't had shrimp in some time, so I'll have to try that sooner rather than later. It certainly works to your advantage, it seems. Yes. Though, I don't think there's anyone exactly like me so there's no such thing as that. If I ever had a drama major as a roommate, I would have to request a new roommate immediately. I'm not dealing with them practicing lines or singing in my room. Dreadful.

HUNTER: Well, it's not really a battle when there's a clear winner.

LAUREN: Well you're interesting. It's not deliberate, but I guess I just like getting someone's vibe first. And I think it comes off as standoffish.

LAUREN: If you ever feel like braving the dorm kitchens, I'm down for a cooking session. That's good. So long as the other local area Laurens know I'm the supreme. Well not exactly you. But I'm sure there's a few like-minded dudes who love science, classical music, and crushing their enemies wandering around campus. Though I dig the original. 'No showtunes in shared space' seems like a pretty fair rule. Not too many people wanna wake up to the sounds of Sondheim every morning.

Nah, not with my great grandma. I may not have known her for long, but man, what I do remember is that she was genuinely the best person, so it wasn’t a big deal when she did something like that to us. However, if you did it to me, we’d have total beef; it’d be a complete prank war. You’ve got the stereotypical bully who gives you a wedgie. Then there are the bullies who throw you in the dumpster; that mainly happened when they were in a bad mood. There was all of the cyberbullying, but I rarely saw that, because we didn’t have a PC so I only checked Facebook like once every two weeks, at the library. I’d definitely take an onion in an apple costume, over bullying anytime. 

Hey, we should totally have a wine-tasting night! We can act all fancy and adult, talk about the sweet aroma that we’re getting from the grapes, be so pretentious when we talk about the harvest being bad in France last summer, and spit into buckets.

Well duh, I don’t have awesome grandma immunity. I’d never even try. Plus after living with my brothers, I’ve been scarred enough by food pranks, not looking to start that again. Jeez. That’s crappy. I never get why people put so much energy into being that kind of asshole. The physical usually chills out once you swing on ‘em, least in my experience. Not too many people were gonna start shit with the girl who hit a kid with a lunch tray. The cyberbullies, that’s always annoying.

SEBASTIAN: I’ll make sure your name is on all the coasters.

SEBASTIAN: No one is into mullets.

LAUREN: You're a peach and a half. I can't think of better way to end the semester than an underground library party.

HUNTER: That it is, but I'm good at picking up things, usually. Though, I would more than open to doing it in-person sometime.

HUNTER: Tell me a favorite recipe of yours with cayenne in it. It sounds like a lot of people have exception taste in Laurens. Well, I'm glad she is for you. The perfect roommate for me would be someone to kept to themselves but also someone I could bounce ideas off of, and yet they still know their place. Basically, smart but not smarter than I am.

HUNTER: What I was going to say might be a little mean and I believe you're friends with him, so I will refrain.

LAUREN: I've been known to play it a little too cool. Guess it comes off as disinterested. So that's nice to know.

LAUREN: Ooh. Garlic shrimp. Cayenne with smoked paprika and some cajun spices, gives it a good kick. I'm usually the only Lauren in a room so that works perfectly. So like, a 'not as top of the line' Hunter. Makes sense. As hilarious as it would be, I can't see you sharing space with a Sondheim loving, oversharing, snack stealing drama major.

BRODY: I was just out here, trying to hit up my fave girl, see what veggies she could see herself as. Then you had to sass.

BRODY: And yet you took the bait so who is really to blame here?

HUNTER: Good to know. I had more than an inkling but still, good to know. I look forward to them, truly.

HUNTER: Ah. I very rarely have anything spicy, but I should incorporate hot peppers in my meals more. Cayenne, espeically, is good for your health. They couldn't even make cookies that were already pre-packaged? I fear for our peers. That would drive me insane, as well. I can see why you're friends with her, and yet I like you and haven't found a common ground with her. I honestly can do without the perfect roommate. I doubt he exists, anyways.

HUNTER: Well, that is very true. Christ. I'm sure Sam won't pass up that chance.

LAUREN: It's kinda hard to really convey it through text. More of an in-person, in the moment enthusiasm. But it's there.

LAUREN: Not a bad idea. I think a little kick in your meal's a good thing. Cayenne's a great gateway spice. Yep, the downside of too many margarita pitchers. The kitchen barely survived. I can see that, y'all aren't similar at all, outside of having exceptional taste in Laurens. She's a great friend tho. What /would/ the perfect roommate look like for you?

BRODY: Okay now I know you're just sassing and taking part in that low hanging fruit.