Zipper

do not raise a word against those crusty little white dogs in my presence. 1. they are some of the only breeds that were bred to live in a dumpy apartment not like a golden retriever who longs to swim and run and can’t even chill on your dumb couch cuz of the hair 2. You’ll be singing a different tune when the crusty little dog is a tiny little puppy and is the shade of a beautiful jasmine bloom… and you make fun of the old ladies for babying them when they’re crusty and old but someone will be taking care of YOU when you’re old and crusty and you will wish they love you as much as those old ladies love their crusty dogs….

Lady of shallot. Lady of onion. Lady of garlic. Lady of chives.

You could say the curse had come upon you!