He's perfect.
Lan Sizhui follows all the rules, smiles when he's asked. He shouldn't be feeling this way. He can't be feeling this way, not when he's so lucky to even have an unbroken family, a place to stay, and food to eat.
(Because Lan Sizhui is not allowed to be sad, not when he sees the bruises that decorate his best friend. Not when his other closest friend is always stuck between heartbroken and angry, and his other dearest one doesn't sleep most nights.)
It's not his job to help them but he tries his best. Sizhui really, really does. He knows intimately about all their issues and attempts to offer his own insight. He holds them tells them that everything will be alright. Sizhui can't blame them for not noticing how much hatred has built up inside him, how desperately he wants to escape this monotonous hellhole that he should be grateful for. Why isn't he grateful? What's wrong with him?
Lan Sizhui’s not sure, so he says all the words he desperately wishes they'd say back and tries to put enough meaning into it for all of them.
