BSD/GI/TWST

12m

 Recently, whenever I feel bored, I will always go to the painting room and daydream while staring outside the window. I don’t know if Deemo is reading now as I can’t hear any sound from the piano. It makes me feel lonely.

 “Outside seems cold…”

 I can’t stand this empty silence. I can’t see anything no matter how hard I observe. The fog is just too thick. This is just something I don’t understand. But if I were to look out the window, my heart would also calm down a bit.*

 *(TN: To be honest this part I find it a bit hard to properly translate it without losing its original meaning, its written as 但是只要望着窗外，就会觉得内心似乎也稍微沉静了下来。Basically in a sense means as long as she look outside the window, she will feel a bit at peace with her heart…)

 That’s right….it have been quite some time since I came here… What sort of place this is I still don’t get it.

(I really want to know what this place is…)

 Ever since coming here, I been thinking of the same question. Even Deemo and Masked Lady didn’t tell me anything (about this world). When I don’t even know my own name how can I even know what sort of place this is?

 (Could this be a dream…?)

 Even though sometime I have such a thought, but for such a realistic place to be a dream is unbelievable. Let’s say that if this place is a dream, then maybe the real world itself has already collapsed and become this place.

 ----I Miss home….

 This thought have been getting more and more intense recently. But how did I come here? Where is my home? Why can’t I remember anything? I have too many things I dont understand. 

 “if I climb through the window, can I really return home…?”

 I don’t think that this is like a fairy tale. Because I cant even imagine my home being on the other side of the window. But I can strongly feel that on the other side of the window, is a world different from this place. It’s a world that I am familiar with.

 But somehow, I also feel that the world on the other side is also no longer the world that I’m familiar with. It may be a world filled with dreams; it may also be a world filled with sadness. I feel that the other world might be either one of this two possibilities.

 Right now, I can’t even reach the window, so there’s no use thinking about what kind of world is it on the other side. All I can do now is let the tree listen to Deemo’s performance and grow. Although, it seems that from the moment I was born, I have heard Deemo’s performances before. Like a very long time ago, that music is a part of me.

 (How could this be…Could it be that, this world is a world that begins when one is born?)

 ♩

 “I also want to play the piano…”

Sometime later, I suddenly have this thought. Maybe just for once, I also want to play like Deemo. The dreamy, gentle music. Also maybe if I play, the tree might grow even taller.

 I instantly turn and start to move towards the tree room. However, just right outside the (painting) room entrance, I saw something shiny fall down. I slowly walked towards it and the floor is filled with blinking rainbow-like colors glass fragments. But I remember…these fragments weren’t here the day before.

 (But..there isn’t any thing that have been broken…why would this fragments suddenly appear…?)

 Just as I muttered to myself, it seems like some sad event has happened in the past suddenly flashed past like a marquee, hitting my chest and for a moment I find it hard to breath.

 (What is this pain…?)

 I don’t understand. But maybe my memory is slowly returning bit by bit.

 (I don’t know why I have this feeling….)

 But every time I try to think of it, my whole body will be in pain…like I was hit by something hard.

 (Anyway…lets clear away these broken fragments. It would be bad if I accidentally step on it)

 In order to protect those important hands from getting hurt, I carefully pick up the pieces together. Like the tire, I throw them out from the big window. The glass fragments glittering slowly as they fall to the end of the world.

 (Like this, no one will get hurt…)

11m

 (Speaking of which…I don’t know why but this wheel gives off an uncomfortable feeling…)

 The room on the right…which I call it the painting room. Upon entering there is a wheel that feel disgusting, which I could not help but avoid looking at it. I don’t know why but if I were to see the wheel I feel like vomiting.

 (Even though I really do not want to touch this wheel, but it is in the way…. Let’s throw it out from the window…)

 Rather than not wanting to touch it because I hate it…I should say it’s more of…afraid? Every time I enter this room, I don’t know why, but I can’t stand the existence of this wheel. I make up my mind and finally, I picked up the heavy wheel and throw it out of the window. In the seemingly board and narrow horizon, the wheel slowly disappears into the endless darkness.

 Once the wheel disappeared from my sight, and I started to relax, I heard a new music coming from the tree room.

 (It’s a new song!)

 Who knows I might see the tree grow again? Having such a thought, I quickly cleaned my dirty hands on the helm of my skirt and quickly ran towards the tree room.

However, right at the moment out of nowhere Masked Lady suddenly appeared and gripped onto my wrist tightly.

“Can you stop this ridiculous act?”

 She said so, with more urgency in her tone.

 “W-why…?”

 Her voice unknowingly makes me feel like my chest is being tightly squeezed. Like... Masked Lady’s heart has been moved to my body…

 “…In short, just stop it quickly. That’s not only for me but also for your own good.”

 After a short moment of silence, Masked Lady let out a sigh and starting mumbling to herself. Then she began wandering around the room. She seems to be troubled by something, or she feels sad. Like she was trying her best to stop something that can’t be seen by the naked eye….

Deemo

“Good Morning, Deemo”

---- This Dream, is my last music to you.

“Deemo…you are so gentle…”

----This Dream, is our creation, a world that doesn’t exist anywhere.

“…Deemo, when did Masked Lady started living here….?”

----This Dream, is a wish to not be separated from me forever.

“Deemo, the scores fall from the tree like flower petals!”

----This Dream, filled with an incredible colourful phenomena is a dream you have told me before.

“…Before Deemo stayed here, who was living here…?”

----This Dream, is a fragment of our memory living together in this castle like home.

“Deemo, no…I don’t want to say good bye…!”

Alice’s nostalgic voice resounded from inside Deemo. Deemo inadvertently pause from playing the piano and look towards the tree that have grown to the celling height.

Through the light and warm shinning thru the celling window, the tree maintained its lustre as the cherry blossoms continue to bloom. As this is what Alice saw in her happy dream world, the cherry blossom will not wither.

Listening to the faint crowd applause from the real world, Deemo smiled softly and continued playing the piano again under the full bloomed cherry blossom tree.

Remembering all the time spent with Alice in this room. Dreaming of the day where he will be able to meet Alice again, somewhere that is not this place.

10m

 “Deemo, Let’s play! You be the doctor; I be the patient~”

“…”

Deemo can’t speak neither does he have any expression. But if I ask him to play with me, Deemo would occasionally stop playing the piano and play with me. From this action, Deemo seems quite childish too.

--And occasionally…or I should say recently, I been thinking of staying here forever. In the future I imagined, I will be together with Deemo like now in this big tree room playing, sleeping and listening to the smoothing piano music. The scene feels so fresh it’s scary.*

*(TN:In a sense its happening now for the imagination to feel so real that its scary)

But in my imagination, Masked Lady isn’t there. That is not because I dislike Masked Lady. Neither did I feel that if she doesn’t exist it would have been so much better. I did not have such thoughts. But it’s no matter how much I imagined, I can only imagine a world where there’s only Deemo and me.

♩

“It seems like its growing bigger again! Although I think its futile, but still good luck*!”

*(TN: In Chinese its 加油 which in English it means come on! But I think in this context its weird so I used good luck)

 Afterwards, if I were to make eye contact with Masked Lady, she would, as usual, say mean things to me. It’s obvious that in Masked Lady’s dictionary, the word gentle does not exist. Because she never once said things, she won’t say to me.

“Ugh…”

(I don’t know if its because of this, that recently I been feeling…uncomfortable…like my head feels dizzy)

I feel like vomiting out all the mean remarks that I been accumulating in my small body. My field of vision started to be blurry as I feel dizzy again. From the corner of my eye, I saw that the door of the room opposite (the book room) is being slowly pushed open.

♩

Even though I still feel dizzy, I still walked towards the door as if I was guided by something. On the other side of the door, is a room that’s brighter and larger than the book room. Although I can’t remember, but for a spilt second, I smell something nostalgic. Which slightly irritate my nose.

“There is also a room here….”

I said as I staggered around the room. What entered my field of vision first was a somewhat dirty, cow spotted cat doll sitting on a small wooden chair. I walked towards it subconsciously and for some reason I impulsively reached out and touch the cat doll’s eye.

(What a pity…this cat doll…is so dirty…)

It’s dirty yet I feel an impulse to hug the doll and shower it with love.

Right, I must have seen this cat doll somewhere before….

But I can’t remember….

If I were to think about the things I cant remember, my head will suddenly feel like its splitting.

I stopped thinking about it for the time being and then sat at the huge dinning table in the middle of the room. On top of the table is a candle that is lit.

(Wow…looking at it closely, the candle holder… seems to look like a hand…Its so creepy)

The candle holder that looks like a creepy witch hand make me feel that if I stare at the flame I would be cursed. So, I tried to extinguish it by blowing the flame out. But the candle flame did not get extinguish. I thought that I blew too lightly so I blew harder. But no matter how hard I blew; the flame did not go out.

(It seems that the candle cant be burnt out….)

Further into the room, on the yellow spotted wall hanged a big painting of an old walkway.

(Staring at this painting…It feels like I could walk into it…)

Moreover, while it is not known why this painting was painted, but it is one that can feel the meaning of the painting, giving an incredible feeling to the painting. If you look more closely, you wont know if it’s a painting or a photo, or its actually a real space that exist. That’s how realistic and confusing this painting is.

“Ah! There are windows in this room!”

The last thing that came into my field of visions is a big window. I could see it directly the moment I enter the room but yet why didn’t I see it the moment I came in. I couldn’t help but make a cheerful cry.

Because, I would not need to wait for the tree to grow taller to reach the celling window, I can probably go back home from this window here. However, as I got closer, I realise that this window and the celling window are different. Even if I were to pass through this window here, I would not be able to leave this world.

(Even though I don’t have a sixth sense, but ever since coming to this world, about half of the things here I understood them intuitively.)

Even if I were to jump out from this window, I would probably land at the end of this world.

“Ugh…”

I sighed lightly with the same sense of disappointment that I had before entering the room. Towards the scene less window, I tried looking carefully outside. But the mist is so thick I cant see anything. And somehow outside feels very cold.

(I don’t know why, but it feels scary outside…)

Better to keep the window closed…

(Have Deemo been to the world outside before…?)

--If, I could get out of here, I would want to bring Deemo with me to all sort of places….

[Ahhh…What should I do…

This side was also opened…

If this goes on….]

                                                                                   [---- An annoying noise…….]

“What an annoying performance.”

After that every time I cross path with Masked Lady, she would always use words that would freeze the surface of the heart in an instance and say unkind things to me.*

*(TN:To be honest i really dont know how i can translate this  她总会用像是能一瞬间把内心表面给冻结起来的言词)

 (Masked Lady does not seems to like me…)

Honestly, I do not like Masked Lady too. Every time she speaks, she would always say unkind things to me like just now.

If she is so mean every time she speaks, then she should have just continue sleeping – Having such a thought, I might have been a bit overboard.

 ♩

 Today as usual, I stay at the side of the piano while listening to Deemo’s performance. I feel like I become part of the piano when I lean against it. I really like this feeling.

(Speaking of which, this piano is really big…)

I like the sound the piano makes when Deemo plays it.

But...I can’t remember… I feel like I have forgotten something important…

“Ugh...”

As if to dissolve the previously frozen inner surface, I let out a warm breath. And almost at the same time, Deemo’s performance ended.

Every time Deemo finish his performance, this room feels lonely. Because without the sound of the piano, this space(room) feels like its abandoned with no one in sight and the silence is scary.

I wish Deemo can quickly play the next piece…

Just as I feel annoyed at this silence, I suddenly felt a breeze coming from the direction of the tree.

(Wind…?)

But the so called wind, generally comes from outside the room and so logically, it should have come from the tall celling window…This should have been the most logical thought....

But the breeze I felt just now, could not have come from the direction of the tree….

Am I thinking too much? While thinking of the unthinkable and staring at the tree, the tree started to grow again. While giving  off glittering lights like diamond dust, the tree starts to grow rapidly.

[-- -- Do you still remember our promise?]

(Eh…?)

Suddenly, a voice came to my ear. It was not that of a teenager but a young man. I also feel that someone gently touched my little finger.

(Who----?)

But I did not find anyone as I look around my surroundings.

At the same time, Deemo’s body is facing the piano, he also doesn’t speak.

6m

“The performances by you guys are annoying.”

This was the first sentence that Masked Lady said to me.

“Eh?”

I got a fright and was stunned there wondering if I have heard wrongly. For a person who have been in an asleep until just now to make such a critical remark, it is unbelievable.

(Unless…when she is asleep, she still can hear the piano….? Or she is only pretending to be asleep…?)

“You want to make the tree grow by playing the piano?”

Masked Lady asked in the same tone she used previously. Then it makes sense that I did not hear wrongly just now. Feeling pressured by the scary tone of the Masked Lady, I timidly nodded my head.

“Hahaha, don’t make me laugh.”

Masked Lady then laugh like a witch, in a voice/tone more unpleasant than before.

“Then I will give the innocent you some advice then. The higher you climb, the harder you will fall. Be careful~.”

Facing Masked Lady’s constant malicious remarks, I can only shrink back and keep silent. Gradually, listening to her remarks make me unhappy and eventually I can’t help myself but said 

“…By falling you mean….?”

“That kind of thing, it doesn’t need me to explain clearly to understand.”

Towards the sentence which I mustered my courage to ask, Masked Lady replied to me with an even stronger tone.

“I don’t know…, where is this place…?” Her response makes me feel a sharp pain in my heart and I half stammered out the thoughts I had held in my heart. Instead of asking Masked Lady, asking Deemo would have been the right choice. Because Deemo would have known what this place is. However, as Deemo cannot speak, even if I ask him, he also could not tell me.

“Here…? It is as you see, this place is a book room. Or…are you asking about this world?”

Masked Lady must be laughing behind her mask, she speaks as if she knows everything about this world. Maybe I can finally understand some things about this world—with such anticipation I nodded my head.

“Silly child, why must I tell you?”

  As if to crush my expectation, Masked Lady reply with a cold tone.

“Because…you…came here earlier than me…?”

“That’s right, I was already here way before u even come.”

“Then when did you come here?”

“That is why, didn’t I say before? Very long time ago.”

Towards me who is asking questions like a mermaid spitting out bubbles, Masked Lady answered annoyingly.

“…. Who…are you?”

If possible, I do not want to continue speaking to Masked Lady, not only that I want to leave as fast as I can, but I could not stop asking questions. Even though I have come to this world for quite some time, I still do not understand anything about this world. That is why, even if its just a little, I want to know what kind of world this place is.

“You asked who I am? Well, you will find out one day.”

As Masked Lady seems to be bent on destroying my wish, she answered me vaguely again, letting out a mocking laughter.

“….”

Right at this moment, a dizziness hit me and distorted my view. It felt very uncomfortable, resisting the urge to squat down, I bought my staggering feet and walk out of the book room as if to escape from the Masked Lady. Once I returned to the tree room, I lie down on Deemo’s leg like I fainted and close my eyes.

“…. Deemo, when exactly did Masked Lady come here…?”

After closing my eyes, I lost conscious for a while. Although I cant confirm it, a few moment later, I asked slowly while sighing.

[TN note: Alice’s likely referring to the question of when did Masked lady come here]

“……..”

As I thought, Deemo still did not answer me anything. As if to make up for being unable to speak, Deemo use his gentle big hand to touch my head and started stroking my hair. Slowly while being comforted by Deemo, my consciousness gradually faded, and I fell into a sleep state unique to this world.