hey all! headcanon’s and fics are now open for the following fandoms!:
🦇Gatchiakuta
🦇MHA
🦇JJK
🦇Bungo Stray Dogs
🦇Fruits Baskets
🦇Ouran Highschool Host Club
🦇Attack on Titan
🦇Haikyuu
🦇Black Butler
🦇Fairytale
-Depending on characters will decide whether or not i will write smut for the character. (for example, if you were to request a enjin smut fic, i would write it! however, if you were to request a rudo smut fic, i will NOT be writing that!!)
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maybe it was how gentle zanka was, or maybe it was how he often let you sneak in his room to sleep when you could not. you knew there was something there.
warnings: cursing, fluff, reader is g/n, but described as underweight and smaller than usual (reader has an unspecified illness.)
( Zanka x Reader )
the first time you had ever met zanka, you were sixteen, he, just shy of turning seventeen.
you still remember the fall like it was yesterday—being caught going through trash that had been thrown away, and punished for repurposing what you had found.
you remember the panic you felt as you had fell—the bile that rose up in your throat at the stench of the dumps under ground.
you remember the vivid image of a man—enjin coming to your rescue, holding your smaller form close to him as he saved you from a trash monster with the use of umbreaker.
“eh…? what’s a tiny one like you doin’ in this dump?”
tears flowed down your face, arms reaching out to grasp enjin’s jacket as you cried and cried. cried for your parents, who couldn’t do a thing, and cried for your home.
despite hating kids, it broke enjin’s heart to see someone so young so, so broken hearted. so, he took you back to HQ…sure, you didn’t have a special object, but perhaps August could use your help.
enjin showed you around the building with the utmost care; and once he settled in taking you into the bar—that’s when you had met him…zanka.
tall, skinny, and absolutely beautiful in so many ways.
“you two play nice together, kay zanka?” you remember enjin pushing you towards zanka, smiling widely as he gently patted your shoulder.
blue eyes widened, in an instant pale hands reached out to steady you—zanka was about to scowl at enjin in embarrassment, before he looked at you—mouth gaping open slightly before ultimately shutting—was he blushing?
“i suppose you heard the big man..i’m zanka…could i get your name?”
his voice was smooth, beautiful and everything so many people could only wish for.
“y/n…”
ever since then, you had been inseparable from zanka. whether that includes spending time with him while he’s back from missions, eating with him at the bar, patching up his uniform with august as he stands by the door frame, watching with absolute adoration in his gaze, only to look away in embarrassment when he was caught by august—or worse, enjin.
you suppose the comfort and closeness from zanka is how you found yourself in this predicament now—standing in front of his bedroom door, clad in a sleep shirt that was way too big for you, and wrapped up in a thin throw blanket. your teeth bit down on your bottom lip, thoughts running a million miles in your head as you decided whether or not to go through with sneaking into zanka’s bed tonight once more.
sure, you had done this before.
but, lately things have seemed to change.
you noticed immediately when your lips quirked up in a little smile when you saw zanka walk in for breakfast—or even heard the faint sound of his voice as he spoke to enjin and the others.
you also noticed when your heart began to leap in your chest over every little interaction with the boy.
you also noticed how much you stared at him.
as if zanka had hung the stars and the moon, just for you.
with a release of a breath, you opened the door gently, wincing as it creaked just a little bit on the hinges.
upon entering the neat and tidy room—filled with nothing but darkness, you carefully shut the door, walking towards the familiar area of zanka’s bed.
you could vaguely see a lump under the covers, and with that, you felt around for a free space. soft snores left the teens mouth; breathing in and out in a deep sleep as you carefully moved to lay down beside him—your body curling up against his in an instant.
it seemed as though you had gotten away with sneaking in zanka’s bed, and slowly your eyes began to close.
that is, until you heard a soft hum.
“y/n..?” a blanketed arm moved up, wrapping around your tinier form and bringing your body close to zanka’s. you could feel the huff of his breath on your neck—reminding you just how close you were to the boy.
your heart hammered in your chest.
zanka never held you like this before.
a loud yawn left zanka’s throat as he gently reached his free hand up, beginning to rub circles into your head as he waited for you to answer.
minutes seemed to pass.
seconds ticking as you swallowed the lump in your throat.
“i don’t think i can sleep alone tonight, zanka..” your voice trembled just a bit, eyes staring at the wall in front of you.
“i figured as much.” Zanka moved to sit up, stretching just a bit before he moved over on the bed some more, gently placing a hand on your shoulder and coaxing you to turn over on your side, to face him.
he reached another hand over, turning the bedside lamp on—a soft yellow glow now cascading over his features.
Zanka looked so gentle like this.
“it’s beena boutta year since you fell, huh?” he voice was a little low with sleep, but still, he sat up, making sure you were comfortable on your side before he moved to lay back down—on his side as well and facing you.
blue eyes stared right into your e/c orbs.
“today makes a year..”
zanka hummed at that. the left corner of his mouth lifted up just a bit in a lazy smile, before he carefully placed an arm around your waist once more. “then today makes a year since i met you..”
his voice held nothing but love in it.
“a whole year of staring…
a whole year of my heart skipping a beat anytime i see you,
and a whole year of wondering how your lips would feel on mine..” he stroked your side as he spoke, his words making heat rush to your cheeks.
surely zanka didn’t mean that..?
“are you just saying that to make me feel better about today, zanka..?” your voice quivered.
leaning down, zanka placed a gentle kiss to your forehead; he could feel his own face flushing just a bit at your close proximity.
perhaps if he wasn’t so incredible down bad, as enjin says, zanka would not have even said anything to you tonight.
but, zanka knew that you needed to hear this.
“enjin was wanting to teach me how to quit starin’ at you…said i’d scare ya off..but, i couldn’t help myself…your just so mesmerizing, y/n…always thought that, ever since i first saw you.”
“so no, i am not sayin’ that just to make you feel better..”
warnings: fluff, reader is described as a girl, smut, oral sex, doggy style, spanking, choking, rough handling, cussing, cream pie.
perhaps you should have listened to your charming, amazing, and oh, so handsome boyfriend.
but, when did you ever do that?
it certainly wasn’t now, and it certainly was not going to start now. you were a cleaner; work needed to be done around the cities, and the cities needed to be cleaned—, trash beasts needed to be taken care of, the children of the cleaners needed to be taken care of.
but, did that stop enjin from constantly nagging in your ear:
“ya gotta relax some, girl.”
“go lay down, i’ll put the brat to bed-“ (rudo).
“y/n i swear to fuck-“
nevertheless, you never listened to him.
and that’s why you were in the predicament you were in now, laying in bed, absolutely dying. your muscles were beyond sore…everything hurt. maybe you really did overdo it during this latest battle.
but, trash needed to be cleaned. and, that was just your duty.
a soft groan left your lips as you moved your body just a little bit on the hard-firmness that was yours and enjin’s mattress. god…maybe when you got the money, you could get a fluffier, softer one. until then, you could only dream of one.
“ya over did it again, huh girly?” your brows furrowed instantly, thoughts cut off quickly at the familiar sound of a gruff voice coming from the bedroom door way.
fuck.
you slowly twisted your neck, gazing over your shoulder at enjin with a scowl on your face. “i didn’t overdo shit-“ you winced at the feeling of your calf muscle tightening in the familiar way that it does when you get the most god-awful charlie-horse known to man.
“godd-“ you groaned loudly, whining as you reached down to grip your poor calf as it tightened up, the muscle spasming as you whined.
a laugh left enjin’s lips. carefully, the tall man moved, moving to sit down on the edge of the bed as he carefully pulled your aching leg into his body. he rubbed gentle circles into the skin of your calf, pouting childishly as he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to it.
“maybe you’re getting old, y/n,” you swatted at enjin almost instantly. “i’m not getting old, enjin..” you huffed.
“you’ll feel like it if ya keep over working yourself the way you are.” his touches on her legs were light, almost like a feather as he continued to gently rub small circles into them. enjin meant well. perhaps he didn’t say the right things, or say what he meant with the right tone—but all he wanted was the best for you.
“my girls gotta relax…” his voice was soft as he leaned down, laying his head against the soft plush of your stomach as he continued to gently massage your calves. “you’re so tense…usually you ain’t even this tense after we’ve done fucked-“
your face flushed red at the zero shame enjin’s words had.
“don’t say that so loud-“
“why? ain’t nobody listenin’…not like rudo’s in the walls or somethin’.” you rolled your eyes at his poor joke about the poor boy.
“just keep massaging, enjin..” your words were soft as enjin sat up, carefully moving your body so that you lay on your stomach. he smiled a bit, moving behind your form to sit on the ends of your feet, both legs on either side as he leaned down to the small of your back, and applied a little pressure to your aching bones.
“always liked this position.” enjin’s voice seemed to drop low as he spoke, continuing to rub gentle circles into your aching body.
“really now?” your eyebrows raised just a bit, the ghost of a smile appearing on your face as you closed your eyes, letting out a soft moan, half for show and half for appreciation at the marvelous massage your loving boyfriend was giving you. “what makes you like it so much, enj…” your voice trailed off once you felt his large hands move down lower on your body; settling on the shape of your ass.
“easy access to your cunt, an’ your ass.” god, he was so straightforward with his words.
you could feel your panties dampen as you felt enjin’s hands gently massage your ass, you could feel his eyes on your body, staring at you, waiting for any indication for him to stop.
a few minutes passed before enjin slowly reached his hands down either side of your cleaner uniform skirt, before he tugged it down your legs, gently pulling the piece of cloth and your panties as well off, revealing your bare skin.
enjin raised an eyebrow. he could feel his cock hardening up as he raised his hand back, slapping your left ass cheek hard, before delivering the same service to the other one.
a moan left your lips at the mix of pain and pleasure; both feelings going straight to your now glistening core.
he smirked. “didja like that, baby?” god, he knew you loved it when he spanked you. he reeled his hand back again, delivering another spank to your ass before he leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to each reddening print.
“yea…you love that, huh?” god, his voice alone was enough to make you cum.
“yes baby-“ your voice was soft as you spoke, face flushing as you wiggled your ass back just a little bit.
big hands moved under your stomach, moving you to be on your hands and knees as enjin lifted you up just a bit. he moved down, golden orbs inspecting the slick gathering at your lips.
“think i’ll have to take a bite of this, huh baby~?”
fuck.
in mere seconds, enjin’s face was between your thighs, licking up the slick that spilled from your pusst lips. his eyes rolled into the back of his head at the taste of you. fuck, you were so good.
a high-pitched moan left your lips, eyebrows furrowing in pleasure as you reached a hand back, grasping at the back of enjin’s head and forcing him deeper into your wet pussy.
he lapped hungrily, moaning to himself as he slurped up your taste. his lips found center around your clit, sucking it harshly into his mouth—nose practically buried in your cunt.
“fuck~ enj-“ he reached a hand up, slapping harshly at your ass, continuing his assault on your bare pussy.
when enjin got hungry, he got hungry.
you couldn’t interrupt him, or pull him away from your aching cunt even if you wanted to. he was like an animal in heat, not once leaving what he wanted.
your ass bounced back against enjin’s face, pussy grinding against his nose and mouth as he buried himself deeper; your juices practically oozing off of his chin as he dipped his tongue into your opening, he was practically tongue-fucking your cunt.
fuck, you felt like you were going to cum, and enjin could feel it. he could feel it in the way your walls tightened around his tongue as he continued to fuck your pussy with it, moving it in and out, in and out, over and over again. it felt so good; your legs were shaking as you continued to push back into enjin’s face, continuing to moan loudly as you felt the rush of your orgasm spill over you.
your mouth hung open, eyes rolling into the back of your head as enjin continued to slurp up his meal rather happily. he gave a few final kitten-licks before he finally pulled away from your shaking form.
a few minutes passed before big fingers found there way around your body, moving down to rub gentle circles into your clit. electricity moved through your body, shaking as you let out a jittery moan.
fuck, you could feel tears in your eyes.
all enjin had to do was eat your pussy and you were reduced to absolute slutty-ness. he knew that too. enjin wasn’t dumb.
“think you can take my cock, mommy?” your ears picked up the sound of a belt buckle being undone, lazy circles continued to get rubbed into your clit before enjin pulled away; moving to stand up by the bed and pull his pants and boxers off.
his cock sprung up, hitting the edge of his v-line. slick pre-cum dripped down his red tip as he gently stroked at his veiny cock.
no matter how many times you had taken enjin’s cock, it was always such a surprise to see how big it was all over again. you could feel your walls clench around nothing as enjin moved back onto the bed, moving to rest behind your body.
“didja hear me…? think you can take this cock, mommy?” his voice was low as he asked his question all over again.
you bit your lip, whining as you pushed your hips back against his cock, grinding your wet cunt against it with a loud moan. “please baby…please fill me up…take care of your girl..”
“yea? want me to take care of you and make you relax..?” he voice was soft as he rubbed the tip of his cock between your folds, biting his lip because of how warm and wet it was.
you let out sharp gasps each time his cockhead caught against your clit, god you looked so pitiful, practically begging for your cunt to be destroyed.
“yes baby…please, please please-“ a loud gasp left your lips at the feeling of enjin slamming his cock hard inside of your pussy.
you swear you could see stars.
“fuckkkk~ enjin!” you cried out, gasping as you moved back against his cock almost instantly , bouncing your ass back against it. fuck, you were doing all of the work for him!
enjin bit his bottom lip, leaning back as he watched your ass grind back against his hips, sinking his cock deeper and deeper into your pussy—fuck, was he in your stomach?
a large hand reached around, placing a hand on your lower stomach and pushing down, he smirked at the feeling of an imprint moving inside.
“ya feel me in your tummy, baby~?” he smiled as he felt you continue to move back against his cock, causing it to thrust in and out of your beautiful, tight pussy.
you moaned in response, gasping as you reached back. in an instant, enjin’s hands were grasping both of your wrists, pressing you down into the mattress as he fucked into your cunt hard, soft moans left his throat as he stared down, watching as his cockhead disappeared between the curve of your ass into your pussy.
fuck, you had enjin in such a damn chokehold.
you were his girl, and he knew that.
and he knew that you knew that as well with the way your pussy clenched so tightly around his thick cock.
his thrusts sped up, feeling your pussy continue to tighten around his dick, he grinned. “ya gonna cum baby~? gonna cum on my cock?” fuck, his voice waa so fucking hot.
you moaned once more in response, gasping loudly as you cried out. “enjin, fuck— r-right there! right there, right there!” oh fuck, enjin could feel his dick harden inside of you even more.
“yea? right there baby?” his thrusts abused that spot; a smirk growing on his face as he reached his left arm around your shoulders, and around your neck.
he locked your head into a headlock, pushing you back against him—choking you as he continued to fuck up into your spot.
“goddamn your pussy’s so fucking wet-“
“fuck..ur gonna milk my cock for everything baby~”
“gonna cum all up in that pussy..”
fuck, enjin’s words were so nasty—so hot. it didn’t take long for a loud moan to leave your lips, gasping, you came, hard on enjin’s cock.
a few more rough thrusts, and enjin followed after. hot ropes of cum shot out of his cock, right into your cunt.
your face was flushed red, body covered in sweat as you practically went limp in his hold. moving to lay you down, enjin carefully pulled out of your pussy, smiling, he moved to lay down right beside you.
“told ya you gotta relax…”
you rolled your eyes, hitting at his chest playfully, before curling up into him.
“..love you-“ your voice was soft, quiet as enjin carefully pulled the blanket on the bed over your naked bodies.
got yelled at my an old lady i work with today at work because she insisted that i did not say good morning to her this morning, when i quite literally did.
☀︎ a/n — little drabble for my lovely @prsnevityyyy bc i got her into gachiakuta and she loves enjin.
☀︎ word count — 980
☀︎ content — enjin x fem! reader, secret relationship, um not much actually, fluff, not proofread !
☀︎ synopsis — Enjin loves your little secret, but mostly because he loves the way you tell him "keep it between us."
── ☀︎ kiss me beneath the milky twilight !
The first rumor you'd ever heard about Enjin had been that you shouldn’t let him smile at you- your pants would be on the floor in seconds.
The second had been that he’s impossible to tie down.
And the third was that he’d flirted with every woman in every city he’d visited, and that’s why he hangs out in the trash all day.
You'd never actually bothered correcting anyone on their assumptions.
Mostly because...you'd never actually seen any evidence of it.
People spoke about Enjin the way sailors spoke about storms; like everyone simply accepted it as fact.
"Oh, Enjin? Total playboy."
And maybe that was true…maybe, before you.
Now? Now the infamous flirt nearly forgot how to function every time you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and smiled at him.
You weren't a fighter, and you’d never really wanted to be.
While the teams of cleaners disappeared into ruined cities and monster nests and places no sane person would willingly visit, you stayed behind at headquarters helping Semiu organize reports, patching clothes that somehow always had holes in them if August hadn’t gotten his hands on them, sorting supplies, making sure everyone had somewhere warm to come back to.
It wasn't glamorous work, but it mattered and you loved it.
Which, coincidentally, was exactly why Enjin had fallen so hard.
He'd come back exhausted after missions only to find a repaired jacket folded neatly on his bed and his favorite snacks mysteriously restocked. There were bandages already laid out before he'd even complained about his pains if there were any.
There were even little notes left
Drink water.
Don’t skip breakfast again.
Go see granny.
He should know that you do this for everyone. That’s why there’s no hearts, and no signature. It’s just you., but he recognized your kindness.
He'd been doomed ever since.
No one knew.
Not Semiu, although you were beginning to think she was good at just feigning ignorance. Not Gris even though he was the closest to Enjin. Not Team Akuta although they were around Enjin almost 24/7.
Certainly not the dozens of support staff wandering headquarters every day.
Not for lack of awareness, but because you insisted on that.
"It's embarrassing," you'd whispered the first time Enjin had reached for your hand in public. He looked like you’d smacked him across the face and spit on him, "Embarrassing?"
"Just a little." You pinched your fingers together, leaving a little space to even show him that it was the teeniest, tiniest amount.
"...For me?"
"For me." You hid your face in your sleeves, "They'll tease me forever. If they find out."
Enjin had laughed so hard he'd nearly fallen off of his seat, "You think they're gonna tease you?"
You smacked his shoulder, "They already think you're a flirt! They’ll think I’m just another stupid girl!" You huffed, "They'll think I fell for your tricks."
A shit-eating grin spread across his face, watching you like a dumb bird stares at the dumb worm, "...Did you?”
You just ignored him, but that was all the answer he’d needed.
He'd worn the same grin for the next three days straight.
He adored your secret, loved it even. Not because he was ashamed and wanted to keep you a secret too.
God, no.
If you gave him permission, he'd tell the entire pit and maybe even the sphere. He'd write it in the sky.
He'd announce it before every mission briefing. He'd point at you and go, "That's my girlfriend." But he also adored the way you leaned close first. The secret glances. The whispered, “Keep it between us?" Like the two of you were sharing the world's greatest treasure.
It made something warm bloom in his chest every single time.
He'd always answer the same way when you asked him, "Scout's honor." Three fingers up included. You’d just give him a look, “You aren't a scout."
"Mhm.” Was his only answer before pulling you in for a peck.
The kisses were the hardest part for him, not because there weren't enough, but because there never could be.
Headquarters had an unofficial bedtime when everyone scattered toward their own rooms after late-night meetings.
It was usually set off by a few things: Gris would yawn dramatically, Someone would complain about tomorrow's patrol, Semiu would remind everyone to sleep before wandering off to her room - magazine in hand.
One by one, people disappeared down different hallways.
And inevitably...
Enjin slowed his steps. You slowed yours.
No one noticed, or maybe they did and no one cared enough to say anything…who knew.
He'd stop right beside the corner leading toward your room, "You forgot something."
"I did?"
"Mhm."
You'd look around theatrically, "My notebook?"
"Nope." He’d pop the ‘P’
"My jacket?"
"Nuh-uh."
"...My dignity?"
"Lost that years ago."
You'd smack his arm and he'd laugh before taking a glance down the hallway, making sure it was empty.
Quickly, his fingers caught your wrist and pulled you closer to give you one tiny kiss. It lasted barely two seconds. It was just enough for his lips to brush yours before he pulled away again, "There."
You suppressed a laugh, "There?" He nodded very seriously, "Yes, and I found it for you."
He leaned closer for another peck, but was stopped by your hands meeting his lips instead, "You already got one."
He pouted, giving you the puppy dog eyes he knew you were weak to, "...Enjin." And he’d still push, "Just one for luck."
And you’d cave, "...Fine."
You'd kiss him yourself this time, giving him a tiny, sweet peck- making sure to be farther away from his face before anyone could turn the corner.
And even as he'd watch you disappear toward your room, he was smiling like he'd just won the lottery.
Because in his eyes, he did- every single time you gave him a kiss.
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Warnings: Manga spoilers, angst, use of noah kahan song lyrics, reader is written with she/her pronouns, reader is geto’s sister, just a short drabble.
“you gotta watch yourself more, y/n~, you about fell over your own two feet silly!” heat rose to her face; backpack hanging off of her shoulder as two strong, long arms held you upright from hitting the sidewalk.
“leave my sister alone, satoru-“
a pout grew on the slightly older boys face, glasses drooping just a little bit down his nose as satoru gojo turned to stare at suguru geto. he wrinkled his nose up, sticking his tongue out as he carefully finished pulling you upright.
“be grateful that you’re amazing, strong friend saved her from scraping her poor little knees-“
bickering began, but in her mind, y/n had completely and totally zoned it out. her beautiful e/c eyes instead staring off into the distance—or rather, at the beautiful sight of satoru gojo.
even anxious pups need the moon.
i howl for you
i sing to you
i circle you.
everything was so simple back then. when it was just y/n tagging along between her brother and his friends silly antics, adventures and missions.
before she had lost suguru. her life felt like it had meaning. y/n never knew a moment of loneliness with suguru geto in her life. and she certainly didn’t know one either when satoru gojo took it upon himself to bring y/n into his own home, caring for her and watching over her—especially after the murder of her parents, and the disappearance of geto.
in a way; gojo’s care took form in love and romance. y/n was his, and he was hers.
often times he’d find himself staring; memorizing every little detail of y/n as if she were his moon. it was moments spent at night where satoru wondered just when…when could he stop all of this bloodshed; and live the life he wanted with her.
maybe satoru should have stopped the bloodshed sooner. as now, here he lay…crimson blood dripping from him as he stared up at the sky; once vibrant pupils turning so, so cold, as he listened to the wails of his beloved.
…he smiled.
“i guess i couldn’t protect her after all, suguru..”
❋ a/n — short drabble as i get back into tumblr :)
❋ word count — 1k
❋ content — enjin x fem! reader, toxic! relationship, on-again-off-again relationship, arguing, makeups, angst?? not really, not proofread
❋ synopsis — Everyone can tell what kind of day it is by the way Enjin looks at you. And you so badly wished they couldn't. That it wasn't that easy.
── .* he saw forever so he smashed it up
Everyone can tell what kind of day it is by the way Enjin looks at you.
If his eyes are lazy, half-lidded, mouth tugged into that crooked grin that means he’s amused by something, then it’s a good day. If his arm is slung around your shoulders like it belongs there- like you belong there- then it’s a really good day.
Those are the days where you sit too close, knees touching, fingers brushing just to see if the other will react. The days where he leans down to murmur something only you’re allowed to hear, breath warm against your ear, voice low and teasing.
“Quit starin’,” he’ll say, thumb pressing into your waist. “You’re makin’ it obvious.”
And you’ll roll your eyes, but you won’t move away. You never do.
On good days, Enjin is all heat and laughter and reckless affection. He presses kisses into your hair when he thinks no one’s looking. He steals your food, your jacket, your space, like it’s all already his. When you snap at him, he just grins wider, delighted by the fire in you.
You love him on those days. God, you love him.
So much it hurts.
Everyone else notices too. Rudo groans when Enjin pulls you into his lap without warning. Zanka pretends not to look but always does. Someone mutters, “Get a room,” and Enjin just laughs, louder, pulling you closer out of spite.
You feel invincible together. Untouchable.
That’s the problem.
Because the fall is always brutal.
It usually starts small.
Something stupid. Something meaningless.
A look held too long. A comment said too sharp. A joke that hits where it shouldn’t.
“You didn’t have to say it like that,” you tell him.
He scoffs. “Say what? It was a joke.”
“You’re not funny.”
“Oh, here we go,” Enjin mutters, leaning back, arms crossing. “You’re really gonna do this right now?”
That tone. Dismissive, bored, like you’re inconveniencing him, makes something hot and ugly flare in your chest.
“Yes,” you snap. “I am.”
That’s how it always spirals. Two stubborn people, neither willing to back down. Neither willing to admit they’re hurt instead of angry.
Words sharpen. Voices rise.
“You always do this,” he says.
“You never listen,” you fire back.
He laughs, but it’s humorless. “You’re so dramatic.”
You hate that word. Hate the way it makes you feel small. Replaceable. Like your feelings are some annoying habit he tolerates.
“Maybe if you weren’t such an asshole-”
“Oh, now I’m the asshole?” He steps closer, eyes blazing. “You love pushin’ buttons, don’t you?”
“And you love pretending you don’t care!”
That one lands.
For a split second, you see it- something wounded flashing behind his eyes. But Enjin doesn’t sit with hurt. He burns it away with anger.
“Maybe I don’t,” he says coldly. “Ever think about that?”
Silence crashes down, heavy and suffocating.
Your chest tightens. Pride digs its claws in.
“Then maybe we shouldn’t be together.”
The words fall out before you can stop them.
Enjin doesn’t hesitate.
“Fine,” he says. “We’re done.”
Every. Single. Time.
Breakups with Enjin are explosive.
Doors slam. Voices echo. People pretend not to hear while very clearly hearing everything.
“I hate you,” you spit, tears blurring your vision.
“Good,” he snaps back. “Makes this easier.”
It never does.
You storm away, heart hammering, hands shaking. Everyone watches you go with the same exhausted expression-again? written all over their faces.
“Give it a week,” someone mutters.
They’re generous. It’s usually three days.
Sometimes less.
The worst part is how much you miss him immediately.
You miss the weight of his arm around you. His laugh. The way he says your name like it belongs to him. You hate how empty everything feels without his chaos bleeding into your space.
You tell yourself this time is different. This time you mean it.
You don’t.
Neither does he.
Because Enjin always comes back like nothing truly ended.
He finds you alone. He always does.
“You gonna keep ignorin’ me,” he says casually, leaning against the wall like your last fight didn’t rip you open, “or we gonna talk?”
You glare at him. “We’re broken up.”
He shrugs. “You say that a lot.”
That shouldn’t make your chest ache the way it does.
“Go away,” you say, weakly.
Instead, he steps closer.
Up close, he smells familiar, like sweat, metal, something unmistakably him. His eyes soften, just a little.
“You mad?” he asks, quieter.
You laugh bitterly. “You think?”
He exhales, rubbing the back of his neck. That’s his tell. The one he doesn’t realize he has.
“I didn’t mean what I said,” he mutters. “About not carin’.”
Your anger wavers. That’s all it takes.
“I did,” you whisper. “When I said I hated you.”
He flinches.
Then he reaches out anyway.
“Yeah,” Enjin says softly, thumb brushing your knuckles like he’s testing the waters. “Me too.”
And somehow, that honesty feels like love.
You break like you always do.
The makeup is always sickeningly sweet.
He’s gentle after fights. Almost reverent. Like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he’s too rough. He kisses you slow, hands warm, murmuring apologies he never fully means.
“You drive me crazy,” he whispers into your skin. “You know that?”
“You’re unbearable,” you murmur back, fingers fisting in his clothes.
He laughs, low and breathless. “Yeah. But you love me.”
You do.
That’s the problem.
Everyone else is tired of it.
“Either stay broken up or stop breaking up,” Semiu tells you flatly one day. “This is stupid.”
You don’t argue, because you know she’s right.
Enjin knows it too.
But neither of you knows how to love quietly. Or gently. Or without exploding.
You love like fire—bright, consuming, destructive.
And every time you swear this fight will be the last, you end up back in his arms, heart bruised, pretending it doesn’t hurt to keep pressing on the same wound.
Because when it’s sweet?
It’s so sweet.
And you’re not strong enough to walk away from that.