- ̗̀ wild flowers ̖́-

miller: yeah, that's fine by me

miller: you suggesting things may not be civil gave me a mental image of you beating me up

miller: but good idea, better to be safe than sorry

miller: also no crying on my watch please and thanks

zebby: hahah no miller i could never inflict harm on you that's silly.

zebby: alright i'll do my best to keep the tears from you.

miller: yeah, totally up to you ig. i was just preparing for the worst.

miller: i'll try my best to make progress with this if we meet up. it'll be easier in person, i think.

miller: where do you wanna go?

zebby: well i supposed i can't fault you for preparation.

zebby: maybe it would be best if i come over. how is that?

miller: even if i apologize now, it won't be good enough. it'll be right after you told me to say sorry and it'll seem anything but genuine. there's no winning.

miller: but as i said, i really am sorry. no one deserves to be lied to, you especially.

miller: you don't have to see me if you don't want to.

zebby: i think i'm the only one who gets to decide if it's good enough or not, don't you think? do you believe my tactics are circumvent? give me some credit, miller. i'm not a conniving as some of the other women you take to bed.

zebby: thank you miller, it means a lot that you would say that.

miller: am i not allowed to care about you now lol

miller: what do you want me to do, zebby?

miller: i can't fix myself overnight

miller: and there's no way i can just leave you alone

zebby: your version of caring seems to be very different than the standard.

zebby: i want you to apologize. that's what i want you to do. you don't have to /fix/ anything to cough up an apology.

zebby: maybe swallow your thick pride, but if you really can't leave me alone like you say, it shouldn't be that hard.

miller: baby, you should sleep or it's gonna take a toll on your body

miller: yeah been drinking loads of water, promise

miller: but if my headache comes back i'll just get you to take care of me

miller: so it's a win/win situation

zebby: you don't need to worry about my body.

zebby: so we're back to this already? it's like you've forgotten what you did.

      it annoyed the hell out of her the way that some of the customers talked to her, but while she didn’t entertain them, she did find herself mentally kicking the shit out of them. she knew that was grounds for termination if she ever tried to actually kick one of their asses, but it would be nice if she could get away with it at least once. releasing a sigh as zebby spoke, sahara nodded. “you got that righ. sometimes i just want to sock them right in the face.” her face scrunched as she stopped her folding, tucking her hands into the pockets of her joggers. “you’re such an angel, sebs.” she graciously accepted the bag, holding it close. “i was just about to go on break anyways.” 

miller: hey gm

miller: headache's gone hah

miller: did you manage to sleep at all?

zebby: no. i told you i wouldn't. but the wine has finally worn off.

miller: yeah lmao

miller: see! i keep fucking up, saying the wrong thing, it's as if i don't even /know/ you. as in, i think i do but evidently, i'm selective about what traits i wanna neatly box you in to, and it can't work like that.

miller: yeah, i do like you. whatever. but, that doesn't explain or excuse the way i've been acting from day one.

miller: i'm sorry

miller: i'm no good at this

miller: thanks, i will. sleep well, z.

zebby: you should sleep. let your head rest. you don't have to have it figured out now.

miller: i'd really love to see a glimpse into your mind, to know if i'm this good guy you speak of so often, but i really wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't even exist.

miller: i don't hate myself or anything dramatically self-loathing like that, i simply don't think i'm capable of the things other people experience. your level of humanity is simply on another planet.

miller: i'm being honest with you. and, i'm actually surprised you don't already know that i do actually miss you when we're not together. for someone who's convinced that there's a glimmer of hope in me, it's odd that you'd think for even a minute that i come back to you just for sex.

miller: i literally can't say the right thing no matter what. let's just let this lie for now.

miller: maybe you need time to think about why you like me b/c this happens way too often for you not to harbour any sort of genuine negative feelings towards me

miller: this is too much rn i'll talk to you tomorrow

miller: got a headache.

zebby: is it so hard to believe anyone likes you miller? that someone /genuinely/ likes you?

zebby: i don't work like that miller! i'm not on some constant optimism drug that i never come down from. just because i think you're a good person deep down doesn't mean you don't hurt me or upset me. doesn't mean i don't think you're a prick sometimes.

zebby: i like the miller i get in those small moments. in the car and in bed and when you indulge in my obscurities.

zebby: i have lived a life of ugliness, miller. more so than most can say. you are an asshole, and a selfish one, but you're not evil. i know what it looks like.

zebby: the most obvious example is rather obvious. the fact that you choose to spend any time with me proves you're not as bad as you think. as you say yourself, for more reasons than just sex. you like me.

zebby: maybe time is good. but don't let yourself think you're the victim here. i still deserved an apology. but i've said my piece. we shall let it be.

miller: idk b/c it's weird when i'm without you. it feels like there's never gonna be a happy medium

miller: but i need to stop thinking about myself in all this

miller: it's amazing how you're so convinced that i'm good, really. i don't even believe it lmao

miller: i can't defend myself anymore this is how ridiculous it's getting

miller: ik it's fucked up but it's what i like about you. not that you'll always forgive me, but that you're genuinely /good/ and that's all you look for in the world.

miller: i have no idea what we should do

zebby: of course you don't believe it, you've got your head too far up your ass and you're stuck in this playboy fantasy of money and girls that you don't stop to take a look around you, OR yourself.

zebby: i've seen it miller. it's in there. you're too much of a prick to know when it's there but it is. and you don't have to believe me. if you think life's better hating yourself and making shit choices, i can't change you.

zebby: are you even telling me the truth or trying to kiss my ass? maybe that "weird feeling" is you missing me. but do you really miss me or do you miss fucking me? which is it? maybe it's both. just STOP LYING.

zebby: we? no. i think /you/ need to man up, apologize, and tell me what you really want then /i/ will decide how long i'm going to wait before i forgive you.

zebby: because i am good, miller, you're right. frankly, too good for you. but i like you a lot and i'm not sure why. so if you'll cut the shit and be real with me, maybe we'll work something out.

miller: i'm genuinely a shit person ig

miller: but there's no way i had the intent of making you look like a fool or anything like that

miller: you can choose to believe that or not

miller: we both know how much better of you'd be without me, without taking my bullshit

miller: my track record is too fucked now for me to try to make you think otherwise

zebby: why do you keep chasing me then? you say i'd be better off without you but then you come back telling me how you've changed and i believe you

zebby: that's what i do miller, i choose to see good in people,and i know you are good miller. somewhere, there's someone who wants to be better. i just think you're too blinded by your own bullshit to see it

zebby: i'm tired, miller. i'm so tired of this. i just wish you'd stop playing games with me. you contradict yourself so much i don't know what's the truth and what's the lie.

miller: i'm not i just feel bad so it's hard to say

miller: god

miller: i fucked her zebby

miller: that's what happened

zebby: i see...

zebby: thank you for being honest with me.

zebby: now do you get off on making me look like a fool?

zebby: do you like having me look like the naive little girl who keeps letting you back in? do you know how much shit i take for you miller.

miller: i went to see a friend

miller: honey to be precise

miller: i don't /try/ to make a habit of lying to you, that's a bit of an exaggeration zebby

miller: we were just gonna talk for a bit but it didn't stay that way for long and other things happened

miller: i shouldn't have left you waiting for me, i just had no idea things were gonna end differently

zebby: stop treating me like a fucking child and just spill it

zebby: or don't. i can't force you to tell me anything but you're the one who said it'd be better to hear it from you directly.

          “if there’s one thing that i love, it’s when assholes come into the store.” sahara exhaled, picking up the stack of clothing she needed to refold. “yell at me because your dickhead son won’t keep his ankle from rolling, that’s fine. get mad because we don’t have the retro lows in your size at the moment, that’s totally fine too, but if there’s one thing i can’t fucking stand, it’s the assholes who think i’m willing to let them have fucking sex with me for a pair of shoes.” she exhaled, pushing her hair out of her eyes as she gave the person she was talking to her full attention. “none of that language was appropriate for the workplace, but i don’t fucking care. i have a right to be annoyed, right?”

lake had gotten a job for many reasons. the first and most important reason was to get somewhere to live and be able to afford rent. luckily, he had found felix- his roommate. so it wasn’t as expensive as lake had expected. the second reason was to impress girls. but the third reason was to be able to buy a surfboard and shred. thankfully, lake is and always has been good at saving money, so a large portion of his paychecks went to a savings account. specifically the one that he had labeled the “gnarly fund.” he had surfed one time at his uncle’s beach house in hawaii when he was able to spend the summer with him. and from what lake had heard, it was like riding a bike. you never forget. yet, here he was with his new wetsuit and new board, toes buried deep into the sand and his eyes locked on the intimidating waves. he turned to a person standing nearby, sighing. “in your opinion, do you think those waves will kick my ass?”