Zarya

A Lady and her Knight

✨ 10% off prints active now! ✨

The (Furby) King Returns

The sort of situation where one person works and one person stays home is only functional in a relationship where the imbalance of money does not become an imbalance of power. Both parties need to communicate their wants, desires, boundaries, and expectations. Ideally, both parties should have joint access to financial accounts, with no one person being the primary account holder (this way no one gets cut off suddenly). If at all possible, you each should retain a personal account where you can save up for things you really want/ as a fall back. The household budget needs to be something you both work on together and have equal knowledge about.

If you’re contemplating becoming a stay-at-home (for ANY reason) and you’re not contemplating going on disability*, you should negotiate with the wage-earner(s) in your household that they will provide you with a certain amount of money that can go into accounts solely in your name, on a regular basis. A spousal IRA is good if you’re married and want to plan for retirement, but you should also have regular checking/savings in your own name. Joint name isn’t good enough - in pretty much any type of joint account, either account owner can clean it out overnight without permission of the other and that’s legal and allowed. Your name only. If they aren’t willing to do that, DO NOT place yourself in a position of financial dependence on them if you can do anything at all ever to avoid it. They’re telling you they want to have power over you. Please be safe.