Whoops i got followers now what do

Breaking Things

We're spending a couple weeks in the upstate of New York with my parents and boy howdy are they being reintroduced into deals in a very big and aggressive way

"PAPA YOU HAVE TO RESPECT THE DEALS!!"

this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

All of the evil shit walter white did in breaking bad is masterfully foreshadowed in the first episode when we're shown that he's the kind of man who names his son after himself.

Of course he had no qualms about poisoning a child or selling jesse into meth slavery. That's just what men who name their child after themselves are like.

the walking dead, game of thrones, and breaking bad were just superwholock for men

Game of Walking Bad

Pissing off elves by claiming i fought in wars their empire waged 1000's of years ago when im clearly a regular human

I was their gandalf (lying).

level 271 penismancer demonstrating his arcane might

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.

this makes too much sense. Also, the full quote is “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be” Yes, your bed, he wants to be on your bed honey, that’s not a joke, he is flirting with you.

Lighting another man’s cigarette is some old-school gay cruising.

You know, good on him for just rolling with it.

i bring a sort of "there's a fatphobic terror at the centre of all eating disorders" vibe to the conversation that thin people don't like to hear

I kept forgetting my nighttime antidepressant so I set an alarm where the sound was a recording of me saying "HEY. TAKE YOUR FUCKING PILL" because I thought it would be funny. It was funny about three times, and then it started making me mad and I'd dismiss it right away to make it stop. So I handed my phone to my partner, who made another recording sweetly saying "Okay Shira, it's time to take your medication" and now I don't get mad anymore and I take my pill. The "compassion over punishment" camp has gotta get something wrong one of these days