Whoops i got followers now what do

Today I’ve decided to be a strawman atheist from a Jack Chick comic who has literally never heard of Jesus in spite of growing up in a western country.

What does some Mexican guy have to do with western civilization?

Wow! This Jesus guy sounds great! But he won’t like me; I’ve eaten too many babies. Oh no, what’s going to happen to me!“

“Thankfully, salvation is based on faith, not works* [[*relevant Biblical quotation]]! So you can eat as many babies as you want, so long as you accept Jesus before you die! Otherwise you will end up in the Lake of Fire [[insert graphic of someone being flung into Hell screaming “Aaaaiiiiieeee!”]]” 

O, thank you! I mean, thank GOD! I’m SAVED! Now I must get to the monthly baby feast and tell all my friends!

Hey, there’s a place in my neighbourhood called a Roman Catholic Church. Should I go there to learn more about Jesus so that I may accept Him as my Lord and Saviour?

“No, friend! The Roman Catholic Church is actually the Whore of Babylon! [[*insert relevant Biblical citation*]]! That’s some serious bad news!”

She dated an alcoholic crypto company executive and was like “I can fix him” no girl you really can’t

When we lived in the same city it was always some shit with her where id be like where were you last weekend and she’d be like oh I was in Venezuela a friend of mine knows someone in the ruling party there I think I was on a yacht with some military people like okay getting into situations I didn’t realize were possible I see

got told I didn't deserve to be gay because I thought lady gaga wrote money money money by abba. sorry men I am no longer attracted to you as of today. sorry abba sorry gaga sorry women sorry world

Anyone else notice the tumblr app being really glitchy

You'll have to go somewhere else, little boy. This is no place for you.

nobody numa numas like they used to

(wistfully) mai-ia-hee... mai-ia- hoo....

my UF project is actually super funny to me because when i was fifteen and just starting this, i had the thought "isn't it weird that when characters are immortal, they're always over a hundred years old? what if you were immortal but the story was happening when you were like. 50" and so i made a 50 year old main character. but then! I second-guessed myself and proceeded to throw that concept away entirely in favor of her being in her 20s and now, nearly 15 years later, i have circled all the way back to the beginning and am like. she SHOULD 50 actually. why did i ever change that