ZairaA

Part 1 (1 - 4) / Part 2 (5 - 8) / Part 3.1. (9 - 11)

Have Heart - Chapter 3.2 (Page 12)

The trees recede and the road opens up to the cliff ahead. Soon enough the edge comes into view, beckoning, luring him closer like there’s a hook in his chest, right above his heart. The ground is dry and dusty, only a few halms fighting their way out of the crags. Mike’s heart slows. His stomach sits low in his body, like a lead weight.  With the first flash of blue, the vertigo sets in. The colour of the surface is beautiful, almost unnatural, and so impossibly far below. It hardly looks like water. It hardly looks real. Mike doesn’t feel real either. Not anymore. And not for the first time, he wonders if this was always meant to be. If he missed his exit, and that’s why he doesn’t fit into his own life. If he’s useless, because he wasn’t supposed to be here at all. His chest feels tight, like something is squeezing from all directions. It hurts, but it also feels true. Like maybe if he accepted it, he could breathe again. If he just stopped being a coward, he could find something beyond the pain.  Will. It rings through him like sweet, sweet music. A siren song of promises. Will is down there. Mike can find him. It’s just a step. It’s just a little pain. A little death. No more than he deserves.  Come, come, the abyss is whispering. Here is where you belong.

Have Heart — Chapter 3.1

Pages 9 - 11 for my post-epilogue Byler graphic novel in which something sinister has survived in a place no one thought to look, and there is only one person Mike can turn to, will always turn to, even if he knows he shouldn’t.

You can find all parts here:

Part 1 (1 - 4) / Part 2 (5 - 8) / Part 3.1. / Part 3.2 (12)

There is additional writing, you can find here:

Will painting his boyfriend at college.

Have Heart — Chapter 2

Part 1

This is a both a Byler graphic novel and fic. The art can stand on its own, but the writing gives you a closer look and a more in depth exploration of Mike’s (and eventually Will’s) emotional state.

Have Heart (no need to be afraid) — Part 1

This is a Byler graphic novel and fic. Yes. It’s both, because I’m greedy. It has been eating my life since January, and I’m super excited to share the first part. My aim is for the art and writing to work as a whole. The art should be able to convey the story on its own, but the writing gives you a closer look and a more in depth exploration of their emotional state.

Summary:

The story is over. His friends have moved on. Only Mike is incapable of it. He is trapped, with nowhere to go and nothing left that feels worth living for. But that’s just depression, right? Or maybe it’s something else, maybe something more sinister has survived in a place no one thought to look.

Mike’s hands are gripping the wheel so hard that his knuckles turn white when he passes the shield by the road announcing that he is leaving. He shouldn’t. He cannot. Everything in him is screaming at him to turn around. To go back. To stop this, whatever it is. Insanity, most likely. No. Not everything. There is this one part of him, buried deep down. The part that is yearning. The part that once was part of something better (who shared looks and shared smiles and shared hugs). It is that part who steps on the gas. It is that part who keeps his eyes on the road. On the horizon.

Turns out, Mike isn’t done fighting. And neither is Will.

Rated: Mature — set post epilogue — Byler endgame

Mike and Will, New York 1994

My art for the @bbcmerlin-reversebang.

It was nice to dip my toe back into the fandom from an artist POV, if a little sad that in the end none of my authors made it to the finish line.

The idea here was for a modern day magical mystery, where Merlin gets called in to consult on a murder case with a suspect / witness who appears to be in a mental health crisis, and who looks oddly familiar. Maybe Merlin lost his memory or has been reincarnated, but he feels drawn to the mysterious man and compelled to help him.

Happy birthday, Mike! 🥳

In honour of Will’s birthday, a little teaser from the 20 + pages comic/graphic fanfic I have been working on obsessively for the past *checks notes* ten weeks.

to be continued…

Stranger Things 5 vol. 2 and the whole finale was such a let down, that the urge to fix it is overwhelming. So this is a little post-epilogue epilogue? Or the beginning of one, if people are interested?

Last scene, off screen.

Super late with this because I’ve been pretty sick since the start of the holidays, but I still wanted to do my traditional post mortem of art for last year.

I did a lot of cross hatching n 2025, some of it coloured. I did another comic, and an incredibly elaborate two piece interpretation of The Kiss by Gustav Klimt. All in all I did 30 pieces of art plus 5 pages of comic plus some non fannish watercolours, mostly on vacation. The big bulk of art was in the first half of the year, which I started full on obsessed with Black Sails (19 pieces). I faithfully returned to The Old Guard when the sequel buzz started in May (6 pieces, plus said 5 pages of comic), and then, after RL really pushed me around when I came back from vacation in September, I did some more random portraits for Loki, X-Men and Merlin during ARTvent, which was a little pick me up — Thank you to all who participated! I also did some writing over the summer, but then said RL crisis held me back from posting anything. I did Fandom Trumps Hate again, which was lovely, and am participating in the Merlin Reverse Bang that will post next year, which I’m looking forward to.

Things aren’t easy right now, for many of us. Art has been and will always be a comfort to me, and I hope I can find the time and energy for it more next year, just like for writing! I really, really miss writing.

It’s been 84 years since I’ve been writing in this fandom. So thank you for remembering, dear nonnie! And here is a little doodle of Arthur, which for some reason feels appropriate to post today… 😘