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@zack-carter

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Feeling Frail || Zemily
"Your eyes are big and watery, darkâŚlike a doe. Itâs cute, donât worry." Emily tilted her head a bit and leaned up on her elbows, bony shoulders jutting out and stomach sinking in a bit. She really was just skin and bones, a beautiful girl trapped in a negative mindset and a deadly obsession with the lack of fat she saw bubbling out of her skin with brainwashed eyes. Her tongue licked over her lips slowly, eyes falling over on him again as he began to speak about her disorder, the reason she was here that she didnât want to admit. "Ill?" Emily knew she was feeling frail, weakened and tired but she didnât know if it was really showing that much. Although her body screamed for nutrients, she felt in control of this and planned to eat a little something later, probably.Â
Emily sensed his body starting to fall backwards on the bed and she pursed her lips a bit. Should she go now? Should she wait until he was fully out? What would she say if he woke up and she was gone? Would he try to get her to lay down with him and help him stay asleep? Thoughts rushed through Emilyâs mind, heart pounding gently behind her bony chest. Maybe she could just lay with him for a while and heâd fall asleep quicker⌠Slowly, she moved her body closer to his; placing her head on his chest and curling into him like theyâd done on those nights before. Itâd been a while since she laid like this but somehow she feltâŚsecure here. Even if she knew she was destined to get up soon and walk away for her own, selfish needs.
Zack just smiled softly as he felt her weight barely press against him as he melted into the mattress, a small smile on his lips. His head moved slightly pecking her on the top of her head. He remembered the smell of strawberries when she first arrived and the thought made him feel blissful for a moment. He was nearly out of it, weeks of barely sleeping catching up with him, licking his bottom lip, eyes shut tight. It didn't take but a few minutes for him to drift off, to deeply fall asleep. A smile placed firmly on his face. If he had more control, he'd never had went to sleep, his eyes would have never closed. But his last incident wasn't on his mind, he didn't care about freaking her out in the basement. At least not at that moment. He just remembered Strawberries. The rise and fall of his breath came and went. But the smile didn't. Soft breath, a small smile and "I love you" creeping out among them. Followed shortly after with just a near silent. "Em."
Feeling Frail || Zemily
Emily smirked softly when she realized sheâd won, his tired body falling back against the bed. It felt good to win, to know sheâd managed another elusive escape from his answers. From anyoneâs answers. To her knowledge, no one but the doctors knew she was checked in for her eating disorder. She didnât believe she had one, she never had; even when she was hospitalized for fainting and malnutrition. In Emilyâs cold, dead eyes, she was just becoming flawless, beautiful, thin. âI told you everything you asked, Zack. I answered why I was checked in and I answered your questionsâŚwell, the few you asked.â
She turned her head to look at him, eyes scanning his body before she met his gaze. âItâs hard to lay off that when youâre constantly yawning and you walk like youâre dragging yourself from the grave but I guess Iâll try, doe eyes.â Emily yawned a bit, feeling its contagiousness. She wasnât even tired but she couldnât help herself.
"Doe eyes, I don't even know how to respond to that one." Zack replied his voice showing just how tired he was as his eyes began to close. "Just promise me okay, that if you end up feeling. Ill or they start pressing what ever issue they claim you have, that you'll tell me." he tired to fight another yawn as he began to lean up on his elbows. "Because I really care about you there Em-tree.." Zack took a moment to just take in the atmosphere closing his eyes and breathing in. He never noticed his body slumping even while being propped up on his elbows. Only that he felt relaxed, too relaxed. Trying to keep his eyes open he tried to open them as much as possible. Only to feel them straining.Â
Feeling Frail || Zemily
When Emily noticed him move in the peripheral vision, she moved her icy eyes to look at him; trying to still keep her cool about it all. She didnât quite like how he didnât address her proposal to sleep but she wasnât going to argue with him about it. Her hair hung behind her in a waterfall of light blonde strands, it lying behind her and the jacket slowly sliding off her thin frame to reveal her mostly bare shoulders.
"Find out what, Zack? Whatâs there to know? Iâm here because they wonât let me out and I do have everything under control. I know how to take care of myself, wild boy." She gave him a small smile, trying to keep the conversation light and casual. She trusted Zack just like she trusted June. It was enough to keep them close but not enough to tell them her problems or worries.
Zacks eyes locked with hers Cold vs tired. Her small smile gracing her thin face. But he didn't come close to getting so much as an idea of why she was here, nor did he believe she'd tell him. With a sigh he realized he was defeated. Letting himself fall back into the bed, nealry hitting his head on it's railing. "Understood Em, you have it under control and I don't need to know about it. Got it." Another yawned escaped him as he looked over her small frame once more. "But can you lay off of me sleeping?" He asked as another large yawn escaped him and his eyes began to water. "I can handle that on my own."
Feeling Frail || Zemily
Emily lied herself back on the bed, what little weight she did have sinking in as she stretched up. She always felt so lovely when she lied down, so small and so much thinner. You could see her ribs and hips just beautifully, the skeleton of a girl wearing herself down day by day. She was relaxed, her eyes closed for a moment they shared in silence together. His hand rested on her knee, a tiny yawn escaping him. âYou should lie down with meâŚget some sleep. Maybe youâll feel better if you rest for a few hours.â Emily purred, opening her eyes to look at him.
But then the mood changed and suddenly, the focus she hadnât wanted was on her. The blonde moved so she was leaning up on her elbows, eyes staring right ahead of her and no longer at him. What the hell did he want her to say? She didnât have a problem, she never had. âWhat do you need to know, Zack? I donât need you to worry about anything when everythingâs under control, you know.â She was trying to keep her head level and her fuse low, hoping to still be able to save the mood and not let it be as irrationally angry as their last times together had been.
Zack just hung his head lower when she mentioned sleep. He was sleeping. Just enough, so he could move around, but not enough to where he would see, well that. He noticed Emily's voice slightly change though when she addressed what he had been asking. Turning to face her he put on a soft one sided smile. "I know you do babe, but It's on my mind. If I find out, I promise I wont bring it up. I mean you have things under control and it's not an issue. Right?" She could trust him, he knew she was too strong for it to be anything real, after all it was her dumb fucking manager that got her into this mess. Wasn't it?

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Feeling Frail || Zemily
"My room then. Youâve never been there so I donât see why not, right?" Emily tossed over her shoulder, tugging him behind her. She was hoping if she could get him to lay down for a while, maybe heâd fall asleep and she could sneak out before heâd wake up. This all felt sort of terrible but she needed to know if sheâd gained anything or better yet, lost. It was her stupid mistake to go in the middle of the day when she shouldâve gone during dinner or something but she feared if she waited any longer, they wouldâve forced her to really eat something.
The walk wasnât too long, luckily for her. Her bed was towards the back of the room so she was swift with her movements; dragging her taller, shaggy hairedâŚ.whatever Zack was with her. âWelcome to my humble abode. Looks just like every other damned room in this hell hole, huh?â she chuckled out, gathering her hair together and bringing it over one shoulder before sitting down on her bed.
Zack just looked at her for a moment, being brought to her room was odd, but nice as he felt it showed she trusted him. Even though she was sitting he was worried about coming near the bed. Wanting more so to talk to her, maybe find a little bit more about her out. Unluckly for him he knew she wouldn't stand for his well....standing. Sitting on the edge he rested his hand on her knee before trying to fight off a small yawn...Which he failed at. "Em, I know you're in here because your agent and his bullshit. But that's all I know, and I don't know. I'm getting worried. I was wondering if you could just, I don't know tell me? So it's atleast off my mind." He kept himself looking at the floor as he spoke, not wanting to be out of line or rude. Just curious to the point of paranoia. It's something he felt could easily be taking the wrong way. If one handled it in the wrong manner.
OOC: I just applied for a new character that Iâm really really really excited about! :D
WOOOOOOOOOOO
Feeling Frail || Zemily
When he began to speak about why he didnât know why she was here, Emily felt herself let out a breath she didnât know she was holding. Why was she so scared of if he knew anyways? She knew she felt into the criteria of anorexia but she didnât think it was true. No one didâŚright? Maybe her manager but that was only because she fainted on the runway during rehearsals onceâŚand backstage before when she was getting dressed and she had to be hospitalized for it but it wasnât a problem. She had complete control, she knew exactly what the requirements for beauty were and she was so close she could taste it. Emily, although she mostly felt the same way as Zack, wasnât sure how to vocalize it and gave him a sweet, loving smile and nodded a bit. âItâs alright, it doesnât sound dumb, wild boy. Okay?â She was hoping he didnât take offense to how she didnât say she missed him back, considering she was always wearing his jacket and that shouldâve been a queue right there that she missed him.
Their fingers intertwined finally, a light, airy feeling pushing up through her stomach again. âIf you insist..â she mumbled back to him, leaning and placing a gently kiss on his jawline. Before he could object to anything or question her, Emily made her way down the hall and back towards the rooms; her thoughts rushing and screaming at her. Distract him, make him sleep, then do what you were supposed to do. Donât forget what you were supposed to do, Emily. âMy room or yours? The gardens? Where do you want to go?â
"Where ever you want to take me Em-tree." Zack yawned allowing her small frame to lead him down the hall. His smile creeping onto his face quickly after her lips touched his jawline. He heard her breath out, as if glad he didn't say something particular. But he guessed, it was about "fangs". His eyes began to grow heavy as he looked at her hands. Small, smooth but boney. He knew girls hands where sometimes small, almost always less meaty but hers where just...Skin and bone. He tried to hid the look of worry, Emily couldn't be here for THAT. She was to sure of herself, to confident. She wasn't weak like her "wild boy". Was she? Lowering his head he started to wonder if he wanted to know, But shouldn't he?Â
Feeling Frail || Zemily
Emilyâs eyebrows creased a bit when she saw his eyes start to shut again and he began to shush her. âCertainly doesnât look like youâre sleeping like you should. You know sleep is important right?â She raised an eyebrow when he asked about her. âIâve been alright, Zack, really. Just been catching up with June and Fangs.â She wanted to tell him sheâd been to the nurseâs three times this week for check ups and weight supplements, that she wasnât taking of course, but felt that was an unneeded detail that would only make the mood awkward and put the focus on her in the way she didnât want.
She laughed quietly, shaking her head a bit. âAhh, yes, the overflowing fountain of wild boy charms. Gotta make sure to keep that running.â Emilyâs eyes fell down to their hands, fingers gently brushing against his in an almost sort of loose styled hand hold. It was a sweet gesture and for as rugged as Zack looked, his touch was soft and delicate; almost as if heâd break her thin fingers if he moved too abruptly. âIâm fine, Zack. Why?â Emily prayed silently within herself that he hadnât already noticed how close they were to the nurseâs station and was already trying to scheme up lies to tell him. It was sad she had to lie to him but he couldnât know her true purpose.
Tired eyes and a one sided smile was the best way to describe how Zack looked. Her laugh no matter how low it was, was still something. "I just, I don't know. I can't remember why you're here. That and I've not seen you much outside of passing you talking to...Fangs. I just wor- I mean. I miss you sometimes. Like when I'm awake at night and everything. I don't know sounds dumb, I know." Â He continued to brush his hand lightly against hers moving to lace their fingers. His head lowering to look at her small legs. Had he noticed she was that small before? He couldn't remember, everytime they had been together he was just happy. Or frustrated. Too caught up in emotions to notice how thin and fragile looking she was. But he tried to dismiss it as worry. "I could steal you away." He mumbled under his breath feeling the weight of his tired eyes. "So we could I don't know. Talk."
Miles to go II Nicole & Zachariah II Closed
The soft look that typically resided on Nicoleâs face hardened. âThe most normal youâve heard.â She stated bitterly. âSee, thatâs the thing. Itâs perfectly normal for someone to be depressed. Itâs just messed up brain chemicals. Thatâs it. Iâm not socially inept, unstable or dangerous. Iâm just sad.â She began rolling up her sleeves and laid her arms across the table, revealing two long, vertical scars, occupying both of her wrists. âBut because of this, Iâm stuck here, being treated like some kind of psycho criminal.â
"But you have to think. there might be something triggering. I'd guess. They just want to find it and help you past it. That's all." Zack leans across the table just enough so he can pat her on the shoulder. "Not everyone here has killed someone. But there is something everyone needs help with. Ya know?

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Feeling Frail || Zemily
Emily felt her lips instinctively curl into a cat-like grin, eyes shutting for the moment she felt his lips against her forehead. She hated how easily he could make her into that. Stupid, dopey, almost love sick. âNo, Emily, donât let him to do this to you. Keep your head. Donât let him make you weak, thatâs always your stupid mistake with these things.â Her thoughts snapped back to reality, grin softening a bit as she made eye contact with him; her bright eyes meeting his dark, tired ones.
"I mean, you could come up to me and talk, Zack. Youâre not a bother or anything." she reassured, tossing some of her hair over her shoulder. The canteen? Of all places to be seen, she didnât think that would be one heâd catch her. Considering mostly she was there only because she was forced by the counselors. Though she normally could weasel her way out of eating and would sneak away before anyone finished their food, claiming an ill stomach or a headache and then throwing away the medication that was to make her feel better. She studied him, taking note of the bags and how hard he seemed to be fighting to just look up at her. "Have you been sleeping, Zack? You promised you would, you know."
"Shssss" Zack managed to mumble closing his eyes for a brief moment before locking eyes with her again. "Don't worry about it Em-tree. I have been. Getting a few hours here and there. I'm just self managing. it is all. What about you, you holding up well?" He couldn't recall why she was here. She'd told him before but it soon slipped his mind with her confidence and graceful movement. Finally allowing himself to take in the surroundings he noticed she was standing by the nurses office. 'Is she feeling okay?' quickly became the question he wished was answered. "I'm just worried I'm interrupting something most the time, got to win you over with my charms....Not being overbearing you know. If I can't handle it here, I wont be able too outside." He pulled his left hand from his pockett and moved it towards her hands. Brushing fingers against each other. "But with that being said you feeling okay?"Â
Miles to go II Nicole & Zachariah II Closed
"Nope and nope." Nicole smiled. How could he miss it? Maybe it wasnât as transparent as she thought. "Depression." she said in a very matter-of-fact way. "Clinical and reoccurring." Nicole had no problem letting it slip from her lips but the second it was in the open, she felt self conscious. She pulled her sleeves down further covering her hands and wrist, concealing the pink, ribbon scars adorned on her arms.
Zack sighed, she was just depressed....which was in all honest an awful thing to think. To him it was normal though, something you heard about to much for it to be considered abnormal. So no wonder he overlooked it. He watched her tug at her shirt sleeve and couldn't help but shake his head. "Look, you don't have to hid anything. Depression is the most normal I've heard since I've been here. So anything related, isn't a big deal either."
Feeling Frail || Zemily
The nurseâs station was just ahead, maybe 10 feet or so. She was so close, anxious feelings pounding through her at a mile a minute. Her eyes were staring down that door like it had done her wrong a hundred times over, steps quickening and hair flowing behind her. That was until her eyes widened when she heard his voice. Zack. Fuck. This couldnât be happening, not now, not here. He couldnât really be there. Still, Emily turned her head and saw his stature a few feet away from her.
No, why now? Why why why⌠why did it have to be now? Emily cursed herself, knowing she shouldâve gone earlier to reduce this risk of being caught by someone. At least it was Zack though and not an orderly or a nurse. Putting on a natural looking smile, although in her mind she was cursing herself, she pivoted on her heel to face his direction. âWell, well, well, hello there, wild boy. Been a bit, hasnât it?â
He watched her pivot his normal smirk creeping on his tired face. She could captivate him so easily. Trying not to stumble over his heavy tired legs as he walked towards her he leaned in as she spoke peaking her on the forehead before shoving his hands in his pants pockets. 'Been a while, it's sorta pathetic but it feels like it's been forever' he thought momentarily before pushing the thoughts out of his head. "Yeah, I've seen you around. But it's as you're leaving the canteen or when you're with other people. Guys gotta eat and I don't really want to interrupt your conversations you know?"Â He tried looking at the floor, but his eyes where growing too heavy. So he eventually found his way up to her eyes. His smirk soon replaced itself with a small tired smile.Â
Miles to go II Nicole & Zachariah II Closed
Lonely. Ouch. It wasnât him describing her as lonely that hurt, it as the fact that it was true. How right he was. Nicole smirked and nodded her head. âYea, I guess you could say that. Itâs probably one of the more simple illnesses in this place. Itâs pretty common. Come on, you can guess this.â She swallowed down that which had upset her and continued to smile on as the game pressed forward.
"Are you a Schitzo? I mean, Schizophrenic? That's pretty common right? Or maybe Social Anxiety? But you're too upfront for that." Zack scratched the back of his head, taking small nips at the inside of his lip. There where his last two guesses and he still had no clue about the girl.Â
OOC
I have noticed quite a few people talking about Jinx in a negative way and I must admit, I find it fairly amusing.
You know guys being jealous and what not :p We should total do something with that btw.

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I really hate taking pills. Theyâre not exactly âgoodâ or ânaturalâ for you, yaâknow. I also hate coming off like all I do is complain. I swear, Iâm not normally this crabby about life.
You modelling types sure are picky.Â
But, in here no one gets to really stay the same. It like, makes you a different person.
And later down the line weâll be able to tell people that we knew them when they were only half insane. Sounds like a good time to me, at least.
You're mischievous. That's pretty fucking cool.Â
But yeah, people wouldn't believe you or would spazz. Ted Bundy got like a ton of ladies. So you're probably get treated the same for like, if you met the Beetles.Â